-Presenta of inind- Bits of adviee. - Sonae non pay nUeiition who n ■ Ise. - Wantod to know- Tf a II;? ■, cig-ar Hiakea a man il, will two make a manilla? - '-ril meat yon later," was what uteher said to a dog jast bronght '. big sbop. - To take out a patent costs abont rs, of which about twentyÖTe ' : de solicitor. - How to get a longwell in theworld - IIuv a mau with au auger or drill to boro one for you.- Htif. - Twenty-eight States in hi.s country have règularly appointed Fish Cornal issioners to execute the Fish laws. One of tho most intoresting sights in life is that of a spiritual yoxmg Fady icaing a lead pencil with a ta knife. - Some minera al Silver Roef, U. T., have bceia arrested for sinking a shaft n i lie vragon road ut apoint where p ■.'■cis v. rabie. - A con of capitalista h.tve ed up an 80,000-acre farm itown, I). T. Two thousand three hundred acres nave been brol. - ''What is the difference between themasons and their tendera," asked Mr. Practical, " so long as they get tha same pay?" "The difference lies in the hods," replied John, the Britisher. - "llowis your husband this afternoon, Mrs. Jones?" "Why, the doctor says as how as if he lives tul this morning, he shall have some hopea of him, but if he don't he muat give hiin up." - It is so in politics, business anti everywhere else m life. The malí v?iiom ü boost tip thé tree not onlyfor to toss you dovrn some of ti bnt is as ükeiy aa Eot to pelt you with th'j chawings. - ít is said a New Haven man smokes several cigars a day throughout every even year, but in the odd years not oiie frpm January 1 to December the last. This is without inconvemence, and is a habit of Uiteen years' standing. - Beauty (weary of a tirosome rig- marole) - "The beaiitiíiil language in b you have expressed yourself. Major, conyincea me that" - "Major - " That - singular as it may seem - that ure ray first lovc!"" Beauty - "No, Major- your last!!' - Some relations onco paying a Lancashire old lady a vl.it, and prolonging their stav beyond her contemplation or vvish, were somewliat taken back or morning, before they were np, by hearing her cail out loudly on the stairs, " A ñne rnorning for cousins to go home." - They re snyirg now that Dior never lired in a tr.b. Before longsomeí body will be clai ever üved in an ark, that George Wae ton never lived in the heavts of hia sountrymen, and that Daniel Pratt never kept house in a dry-goods box. - Bangor Commercial. - It swells the manly bosom to hear Mrs. Lovewell say: "The men have suoh large, noble hearts! I canuot but admire them!" But when sho turna to Mr. L., a slab-sided, watery-eyed specimen of fonrth-raté genus homo, and adds: "And you, darling Alfred, are the noblest, the largèst-hearted of men," the manly bosom somehow shrivels up like a last year's bean pod. - Elucidation: Rector" s Wife - "How do you do, Mr. Wiggles? We have not seen -you at ehurch latey. Have you been awayP" Mr. Wiggles - "Yes, mu'm; l've been a-visilin' my old 'aunta at Manchester, mu'm." Rector's Wife-" Really! Ihone you found the oïd ladiej quite well." Mr. Wiggles - "I didn't sa}' myharnts, mu'nv" l said my old 'aunts - revisitin' the 'aunts o' my youth, you know, mu'm!" - The owner of a hotel up on Mov.nt Tamalpais, Cal., has a property er.lamount rigged up in a tree about half a mile from the house, and emploj-s an okl half'breed to sit undei a brush near by to growl and work the dummy's paws by meaos of a couple of smal] eords 011 pulleys. The young hunters from the city invariably come across the "pantlier," fire one volley, hear a blood-curdling yell and make a threeminute dash back to the cabin aain, where they sit and outlie eaeh other for the rest of the day. The hotel-keeper says that by the time the fraud is shot all to pieces he expeetsto have enough money to run a daily newspaper. - The Cincinnati Commercial, in commenting upon the introduotion of a telephone in i Columbns ehurch, says: "It is not impossible that the use o. these instrumenta will work as gr revolution in church-going as the carrier system has wrought in the postolHce. Indeed, it will becomc a (jneslion whether the enormous expense incident to building costly places of worship may not bo avoided without any detrimeni to the cause of religión. The pastor can as well deliver his discourse from the parsonage as from the pulpit. And it will bo all the more enjoyed thnt it is heard in the privacy of the famüy circle. Another econoni}-, and ono of g-reat magnitude, will be 'm the saving of dress. Tho Sunday suit, the new bonnet and the fashionable dress will no longer be indispensable in cvery well-reguïated family, and the Gospel can be preached to the poor as wel] aa the rich. The oocupation oí the soxlon, however, will be gone, but some provisión can be made for him. The ear-driver and the coachman will also have a rest. and everybody will be contented to spend the day under hia own vine and ÜL treo." - Wliilo Mr. George Chohoon, of Ausable Forks, Essex County, N. Y., and f wera fishing in Littlo Block Bri bout ten f in the brook about the same !is■ ipart, I feit atrout strike my bait with a quick, sharp thrill that olargo trout c.in give, tbc same thing happening to my friend at the samo moment. We both, as if by ono impulse, drew our lines quickly up to we bad both caught the samo fish, not by accident, as in the case you publish ; but our trout had taken my worm, and, darting through the interven n;; space, laken Mr. Chohoon's also, Eefore ü. . i ble ior me to pull him outor . Tkero was, in fact, no aj erval betvveen the trout's taking the two baits. We only knew which he struck had lantled him, when we found that my hook, taken flrst and partí; . just below : lon's, r, was fast in tin; trout's :i above tlie gills. - Cor. N. Y. Pvsl. ■+-+-■ . - Dr. I. I. Hayes, in a lecture at New i. 1., die other night, said: "I believe the Bennett expediüon will ■' the p.ole throuffh a snbstantiaUy and there ït will be a matter of ehoice or circumstance whether thcy return by the way they camo or cross over the Arctic Üccan, and emersje by the way of the Spitzbergen Sea, or through Smith'8 Sound." ■ ♦ -The Kov. Mr. Abbott, a Vcrmont elergyman wlio used to go to school vitli Senator Chandler, describes hira as a rough-built, overgrown, tv, kwstii, good-natured boy. He was not the oor parents. Hia father was '!■!, and his mirlo liad ntativein Congrega. He inilit have had a liberal uduc-atiou, but did not scem to caro for it.