A Woman On The Stand

An important case of asaault and lattery, Shank vs. James", was up for comnaittal trial before Mr. Lytle, the Dingbury Justice of the Peace. Rliss Artmesia Pipes, the principal vritness, indeed the only oöe of anv ïtnportance.ia the case, was preparing to give her evidence, which prepara! ons consisted in a playful sporting with her be-ribboned turkey-tail fan and the wreathing of coqüettish smiles on her crow-foolcd and tJiickly tíoured face. "'Twas'bout watermillions an' barkcys,'' she airily began, pleased with he interest her entranoe had created and elevatod by the importaat rotè slia was about to act. " Watermilliona an' turk-" ' Onp moment, if you pleasp," Intcrrupted Mr. Lytle, who - althoughhcdisrcijarüed manv ol the usual forrnalities himsclf and tooK many short cuts to justicc wben occasion suited, as, for instan.ee, if it was about riinner time - nevcr lost au opportunity of impressing lus hearers witfi the majesty of the law. 'One moiuent, Miss Pipes.: until you have been dlüy swovn as a witness j-our words fall upon this Honorable Court like oeean spray dashingagainstrocks." ■' Oh, 1 forgot! Yon see I ain't used to swearin1. Get yer book, Jedge, if you've got airy one." The "Jedge" held his spectacles on with one hand, while with the other he rummaged in an old boot that stood mider the table, and pulled out tfie needed volume. The oath was administered with mach ceremony, and Miss Pipes was asked if sbe eould give the particulars oí the disturbau.ee botvvcoii Mr. Shanks and Maj. James. "You're tnighty right, [kin!" " Do yuii kuow the cause oí the quarrel?" " Vou belter bet I úo" " You w til (jlease omit slang, Miss Pipes; youi' voeabulary seeuid tobe ehuek full of it, and no slang is permittcd before this Honorable Court. What vaa the causo of the uupleasantness!"' "Water millions an' turkeys. You sec, las' ycar, when tin: eatcrpulars was eatin' up ev'body's eotton, Mr. Shatiks lic slips roun' ;v'ry day unbcknownist to Maj. .Iiienis, au' drives Ihellajo's Makeys to his eotton patc-h to ketch tho caterpillai-s. An' one day Maje he linos it out, an' he ups he does an' - " The relaüon of laat years proeoeding.s wil! be dispenscd with for the présent," said Mr. Lytle sternly. Conlino your remarks to the eventaof la.it week, Miss Pipes, and state the iiüllicdiatc cause of the dillieulty." On being thus eheeked in her eloquent flight, Miss Pipes 's plumage - her fan - teil. She stiffened up, snapped her eyes spitefully, and shot out tlie one word ' li(uor." 'i'hen her lips were closed as lirm as if spring-locked and the key lost. But, after a good deal of pc sion and adroit quostiotung, Miss Pipes euntinued her testimony. " You see it was the Saturday before the seeond .Simday m ÜtiCeniber, an' me an' Jake. whieh is my brother iiolyinun's yuungest, an' a pearty boy lie is, uonsidenu' he is a boy-" " Miss Pipes, you will please omit all refeienee to yoar relativos, and ïniorrn lilis honorable body who begaii tüo fighl." " Well, that, was just what I was Ruiuin' to. You see il. was the Saturday belore the seeond öunday in Daeeniber,' an' me au' Jake which is my brother Solj'mua's youngest - an' a pearty boy he is, eonsiderin' he is a boy. .Jakc Pipes is - was goin' over lo Miss .leemsos' to help her with her sewin,' snnin' as how slie was behindliatl' with it froin havin' a run-round on lier thiinble fingcr. I mean 1 was goiu' l.o sew, not Jake, he bein' only a boy, but a pearty one, eonsiderin' he is a boy - be was only goin' 'long with me fur oump'ny likc, becus 1 had ter walk becua o!d Peter liad hooks in his eyes an' couldn't be rid." Miss Pipos here paused in her recial to catch her breath and toy girlishly with the eurl that was scenroly tied wïth a. shou-string to lier back hair and danglftd gracefully over her shoulder. Advantago was taken of this silence, and the questton was asked. " What kind oí ueapon was usedP" "Pine knots." ' And who struek the first Wow?" " is'ow, look here , pap tole me you'u flll be cross-questionin' me, an' to look out and üot get kotchod." " Do yovi know who struck the first blow''"' "You're mighty right I do! 'Twas Shanks! 'Twas Saturday before the seeond Sunday, an' me an' Jake, which is my brother Solymun'syoungest, an' a peart hul lic is, eonsiderin' he is a boy, Jake Pipes is- was goin' ova to Miss Jeemescs to help her with her sewin', scein' as how she wus behme-han' with it., from havin1 a run-roun' on her thimble lingcr. 1 mean I wus goin' to sew, nol Jake, he bein' only a boy, put a peart one he is, eonsiderin' hc is a boy'; an' he wus only goin' 'long for comp'ny like, bceus 1 had ter walk becus old Peter had hooks in nis eyes an' couldn't be rid. An' Jake, 'stid o' kcepin' in the path, kep' dodgin' in an' out the bushes, UU the fust thing I knowed Jake he talled me. 'Oh, Aunt Magnesia!' sez he. My right name i.s Artemesia, but Jake always cali.1! me 'Aunt Magnesia,' becus I'm so fair like. ' What? ' sez 1. ' l've ketched a possum an' you orter see how he sulla,1 sez Jake. 'Bring him out, Jake,' sez 1. Jake brunr him out an' axed me if I cnan't want to buy Mm, but I sed no. l'ou see I like possum, but possnrn don't liko me. So Jake said he'd tako the possum an' sell him in Dingyburg; au' 'thout waitin' to hear any mtliers whether I wanted to lot him go or no, off he seoots down the wiro voad liko greasod lightning' au' leavcs me aggiu' on behine, an' " " Tliis august body bef ore which you are now assembled is not intcrested in the ' seooting ' of Jacob Pipes, ma'am, ar.d I ara compeUed to requost that you will confine yourself to facts pertajning o the case of Shank vs. James," said VI r. Lytle, with a judicial frown aboye lis spectacles, those formidable green roggles that are never taken from their ïiding-place in theold boot exceptwhen Mr. Lytle is perfortning lüs duty as ludge. " Uid you sny that Major James struck tfr. Shanks with a pine-knot?' asked a uavering-voiced, troble-toned young awyer, on his " first fect " as a disciple of Blackstone. He had volunteered as counsel for the plaintiff " by way of practice," he said to himself. Miss "Magnesia" scrutinized him careftilly, as if taking his mental measurc, and, after keeping him in suspense some time, said curtly, " Vid I say it?" The young man blushed, but qüickly recovered himself and asked the question again; this time with such a sweet, pink smile that Miss Pipes was quite captivated, and looking tendcrly at him over the top of her feather fan, began again : " You see, sir, I haven't come to the fightin' part yet, but I'm mose to it if you won't stop me. Pap told me to look out an' not be ketched, an' not to answer any more questions than " "Time presses, Miss Pipes. The advice of your paternal relativa was good, but irrelevant to the subject now in hand. At the present rato of procedure this case will occupy a week of our valuable time. Picase bo moro concise in your replies," said the "Jedge," with starehed voict; and manner. "Won't get through till kingdom come if you don't all quit stopping me every minute," replied Miss Magnesia testily. " 'Pears to me like you afl want mo to commenpe backwards in iolliu' 'bont the fight, and uut tlic cart before the hoss. Water miiïibns e.a' turkeys was the fust troublo. Vou sec whm the caterpillars was jus' goin' it ui Mr. Shank'a cotton patch Ik; s'ui-s 'roun' wery day and turna Maje's turkeys in to ketcti 'ein unbeknowinst." " But that was Jast year, wasn't it?" " Yon bcttcv bet it was, an' one day when tho turkcys hopped over the crossfence nto the .hücoiiü cut, whcit: ihe water millions - " " The oeeurrenees of last year do not concern us now. Picase consider.tuu watciiuclons and catcrpillara devoitred, and confine your reniarks to events oi the present year. At what hour did the disturbance begin?" "At cgzackly 9 o'cloek. Yon see me an' Jake was ou our way - " " Whcn you reached the scène of action whoin üd yon íirst seo?" "The 'sconcof action?' You mean the tumi] putch, vvhoiü the fjgiit was?" "Yes." " Wel], when I got near there, thinks I to niyseli, somebody's fussin' mightily. It's them Bowmau boys either gettin' up 'nuther row or wrasHin for iun. You know how boys will do. An' jus' Uien Jak e he comes rnnnin' back jvith the possum in his arms, all out of oreath. 'Aunt Magnesia,' sez he (my right name's Artenicsia, but he calis me ' Aunt Magnesia ' bceus I'm so fair liky)." llere Miss Pipes pauscd, turned lier head to one sido coqnettislily and smiled sweetly at tho pink-faccd young Ihwyer. As hlic had arrived near the scène of the disturbance in her tostitnony, she was allowed to proceed without interruption, the " august Ijody before whicli she had assembied " thinldn' it best to let her have her owti way. But, to their chagrín, she again began at the very beginning. The smbryo Blackstone was about to interrupt her, but an old fellow by hls side whispercd : " You might as well let her teil it her own way, Webster. You don't know women folka like I do. When they start to say any thingthey'll sny it or die, 'specially old girls like her." Therefore the "undeveloped" tried to possess his soul in patience while Miss Pipes proeeeded : "As I said onet before, 'twas Saturday before the secand Sunday, an' me an' Jake, whieh is my brothcr Solymon's youngest - an' a peart boy ho. is, eansideriti' he is a boy, Jake Pipes is - was goin' over to Miss Jeemsoü to help her with her sewin', her bcin' beliin' ban' with it from havin' a run-ronn' on her thimble-finger ; 1 mean 1 was goin' to sew, not Jake, he bein' only :i boy, bnt a peart one he is, eonsidaiin' ho is a boy; an' he was only foin' 'long for company like becus 1 ad ter walk, becus oid Poter had lioots Hi nis eyes an' couldn't le rid. An' Jake, 'stid o' keepin' in the path, kep' dodgin' in an' out the bushes, till ihe fust thing I knowed Jako he called me : 'Oh, Aunt Magnesia!' sez he. Allright name's Artemesia, but Jake always calis rao ' Aunt Magnesia,' becus I'm so fair like. 'Wnat?' sez L 'I've ketehed a possum, an' you orter como hcre an' see how ho lays on this heit) log an1 sulls,' sez he. ' Bring him Out, Jake, I don't keerto se him sull,' sez I. So Jake brung hun out from the bushes an' axed me if I didn't want to buy him, but I said no. You see, I can't eat possum. I like possum, but possum don't like me. So Jake said he'd take the possum aa' sell him in Dingyburg, an' thout waitio ' vo hear my ruthers whother I wantod to go or no, off he scoots dowñ the wire road likegreased lightnin' an' leaves me aggïn' on behine. And when I got near Maj. Jeemes' turnip patch, thinks I to myself somebody's fussin' mighty ; it's them Bowman boys either gettin' up a row or wraslin' for fun liko. An' jus' then Jake he comes a-runnin' back with the possum in his arms, all out of breath. 'Aunt Magnesia,' sez he. My right namo's Artcmosia, but Jake he always calis me Aunt Magnesia, becus I'm so fair„likB. 'What?' sez I. 'You orter run on and see 'em. They're just aTOin' it!' So I humes on, an' such a whoopin' an' a hollerin' I never did hear ! Sounded like a 'nazherie turned loóse! An'when'I come toa turn in the road, jus' th'other side of where that big chinkypin tree had feil, I seen 'em agcin' it." " Saw who again' whatP" At lliis doublé question of Mr. Lytle's every body in the room learned forward and listened eagerly. The disturbance had created much excitement in Dingyburg, and occasioned many miner disputes between the friends of the two contending parties. Even Mr. Lytle became so intensely interestcd that he laid aside the green goggles and his judicial sternness. " Saw who agoin whatP" was ropeated nervously. "Why, them Bowman boys wraslin'," said Miss Magnesia, artlessly and airily, as she caressingly twisted her curl that had become unfurlcd. She was blissfully unconscious that her last words had been an electric shock to the " august body." But the undeveloped Blackstone soon " carne to" sufficiently to ask some question regarding his cliënt and Maj. James. " Oh, I didn't seo them! Thcy'd dono fit that fight of thern, and gone homo 'f ore I got there." " Then, how are you prepared to state that Shank struck the first blow?" "Well, becus the Major told Miss Jeems an' Miss Joems told me. That's how it come." The "Jedge" resumed his' goggles and his dignity, and dismissed the case. - Pleusani Riderhood, in Detroit Frce Press. O:l-cake has nevev been used in this country to the extent it has abroad. NearJy all that is produced by the milis in this country is shipped to Great Britain, wherc it is held in high favor for feeding stock. As its chief value consists in the oil that remains in it, some farmers in the East find it more económica! to use the ground meal that has never been subjected to pressure. They accordingly raise a patch of ilax each year for the purpose of procuring seed to feed to stock. . Local millers do not object to grind it when it is mixed with corn, oats, rye or barley. One bushei of flax-seed, one of oats and one of corn are often ground together and mixed with ono hundred pounds of bran or middlings. This mixture is found to be an excellent ono for stock of all kinds. It is especially good for young stock, and animáis that have become debilitated by oyer-work or exposure. Oil-cake is less valuable than it was a few years ago, as by the aid of improved machinery nearly all the oil is expressed from it. Still it sells for nearly the same price as llax-seed. Beside oil-cake, or the meal into which it is afterward ground, is vcry often adulterated. Not only is cottou-seed meal mixed with it, but various other articles that possess little or no value for feeding purposes. When farmers grind their own liax-seed they are certain of procuring a genuino article - Ohicaao lïnua. Florida has produced 500,000 barrels more oranges this season, by natural increase and not by superior yield, than she did last season. ■#- An English physician writes that he is ready to distribute to the members of his profession calf vaccine lymph, wii k-h has, he says, severa! advantages over the human lymph now generally in use, namoly, ürst, no possible risk exists of communicating any human disease; second, the vessicles produced by vaccination from the calf are moré proEound than those produced by infantile lymph, and heneo aflbrd a greater against small-pox; third, :hc adoption of calf lymph is thus a ready ansvver to the popular outcry against vaccination.