Wit And Humor

The man wlio cxploded with langhter probably didn't know it was loaded. Tho young man who wants to gat np with sim must notsit up too late vrith the daughter. He wlio sponjres his religión inafree seat in this world will vainly sigh for a freezc seat in the next world. A familiar instancc of color-blindncss ia that of a man taking a brown silk umbrella and leaving a green gingham in its place. A Connecticut widow, vrorth $ir 000,000, is ready to marry, providod she can "fl'nd a man who knowa enough." Almost any man knows enough - to marry such a woman. In the gallery of the Loiivre, before the statue of the Venice oí' Milo. Littlc Boy - "What did they cut her arma ofF for?" Motlier- "Because 6he put her finjjers in the sugar bowl." Bilkinton had passed away. Mrs. B., who nad just read the notioe of his death in the newspaper, said : "What a pity John couldn't read this I He wou ld have been so pleased to seo his name in print." .. .. .?... "Yes, ver riverence, all thim namcs he callea me, an' sis I, 'I wouldn't demane moself to lose me tiniper wid such a low blaekjjuard,' so I just knocke .1 hiin over vvitli the stick and come away." "You do not like to mike calis," said an miele to lus nephew. "But you must make calis," lio continued, "for thcre's always pleasure derived - if not wheu you euter, at least wheu you come out." Jío Ne-w York newspaper office ia now complete without a puzzle-editor. And he has to have his braiu hali-soled once a day. With i'air treatment and prompt attentiou to repairs, a good puzzle-editor will last a week. A Red-dy Answer - Very rcd-haired passender : ':1 say, guard, why onearth don't the train go on?" Guaní : "Good gracious, sir ! put your head in; how can you expoct it to go oa white that danyer signul is out?" "What do you suppose we'll say wheu we meet in heaven, George?" said she. "S:iy? Itc&ow what you'll say, darling." "Me say ! What?" "Why you'll s ly : 'I told you so. I knew just how it would be up here.'" The cherry-tree story about Georgo Washington ha8 been exploded. It is uow known that it was a persimmon tree, and, the fruit being green, it puckered little George's moutii so ho couldu"t tell a lio. Customer : "Dear me, Mr. Peddifoot, why your i'ourpenny pork pies are but a very little largor thaii those at twopence." Puddiíoot : "That's quito true, and I ofteu hear the same remark. I sce how it is ; I shall have to uiake tnem twopenny pies smaller." "Oh, come on, let's have some fun," says raggcd urchin to little kneejreeches "Cau't. Mother won't let me." "'Sposo she won't. Ask your dad." "lt'sno use to bolt. ïhey run ne by the unit rulo, and I catch tlie errule U I try to vote against iustruo,ions." - . -. There is an apprehension that tho rashiouablo luncheou parties in London prove entirely too much for sonw of the Jadiewho attcad tbom, -