Wit And Humor

"Wlion two dentista aro pRrtners, Üiey varultquarrel, ihey pull toy;ethei Thoy'veat last found use for'Alnsk. Il is tofuruisha job for acenaus-taker." An indication öf Spring - A schoolboy put tiny u bent pin in li is teaeher's chair. Some one inqnirea : "Where liavo all the ludios' bells gone?" Gone to wuist, long ago. The inathcmatieian who vriahed to borro w some cash wrotc: "I WÍ11 2 aak for a i." Oiigllt not tlie song1 in "Plnafore" to commence, "i am swect littlc oleomargarinecup?" The glazier who was cheated out of his pay complaiued that he only got his troublc for liis panes. They liavo Zulus on exhibition at tlm London aquarium. The place is asfiumiug the charactcr of a zululogieal garden. A Kansas weckly publishes "fourtoon rules to bc; observad during a tornado." Only 011e is necessary - Keep out of the way. With the supply on hand, it looks as il' a ïnility ood business was being done when two sparrows ave sold for a farthing. Eacli cadet at West Point stromionslv deniea hayJüg cut Whitaker's eara, })iit the evidenoe show that he was cut by all of thcin. Help fronian unexpected quartor, as the tramp remarked when a twent.yfive cent, iieccwas handod liim by tlie ''hul y ol" the house." "Wliatare you writing sucha bijf hand for, Pat?" "Why, you see (hut iny grand uiothcr is dale, and lam writüig a loud letter to her." "Please to undei-stand," Faid the honorable Billy, tlio other day, "I'm not sucli a fooi as I look." "Xo," said Bob, "that would be too mueh." Prolessorin Vcterinary Science - Mr. S., to what clasa of animáis does the asa belong? Mr. S. - I think, professor, it beloilgs to the sopliomorc ciuss. A Sa-vanuah man invented a watervelocipede, and thereby won the everlaslinir gratitude of the shark, míio tocik in both inventor and invention. Thero are two kinds of orflllges gronn in tliis country; one is the kind that is good to oat, and tlio other is the kind that is sold on the rail way trains. A singular and unlooked for fatality is just reported in the South American war. A soldier in the Chili iufantry was shot dead. The Peruvian soldier who sliot biin was proinptly arrested, but explained that lie was just cleaning his gun and didn't kuow it was loaded. A famous flddler told an extraordinary story, which, strange oii"i"ii. . ' "All," aid the narrator, '-if it had been false I sliould have told it in a mueh more truüiíul ïnanner thau 1 did." Charles Lamh says a speaker shonld not attempt to expresa too mueh, but s hou ld leave something to the iinaguiationöf hia audienrse,and he tol I s how, bein" cal led on to return thanks for a toast5 to bis health, he rose, bowed to his audience, said "Gentlemen," and then sat down leaving it their iinagmation to supply the rest. JoneS had engaged a man to dig a well at his suburban place. Seeing hini a month later, Jones asked how he was getüng aloug with his work, and was told that the wcll was half done. J udge, therelbre, of his surprise when a week af tor this conversation, upon visitiug the premisos, lie found oly a ckcle marked in the earth. Of course hehuuted up the man, and asked hiiu what he meant by saying the well 1 was half done. The man very cooly replied : "So it is ; "well bogun is half doue, you know."