Wit And Humor

The society lady never sliéfls Mrs. Bhe Unows euouii to keep her powdcr dry. Says a French critic : "T Hko a giil beforo shc fiets woinonïèh, and a woman beibresUe gets girlish." None of the Cinciniiati ïiobs raise Iiats lo a ladf mit.il they have jjassed by her two leot. A priuter's girl tbll exhausted into his anus at a hall. It was a foint to Work in au om broce. "You're a man ofter my otu heart," as the blushhi4' maiwencoiuessed wUcii her lover proposed in.u-rui,e. Au üil City girl who.se nevr beau is u ulerk in a dry-{foods stoiv toKl a lïieiidsla: had gota lic woaliuu wrapper. A woinaii i-sn't lic to have a baby who doo=n't kuow hov to hold it ; ana this is true oí a tonuü as of a baby. Iu some respecta the gon tier sex far surpiitM u.i. líu mun, lor uutuuiue, can iteuvcr a Icüturu WUil a Uoami iiiá iij his uioiuli. "I liave liad a sui-leit oí' mock turtle since I liave üeen iiiuiihm, tuereioie out [lie suup younsuli', uiy aear," baia u. yuuu BUU'i'iua liun lo un wub. A lilainied soldier oeed charity of a poet, sa in, "i U.ive ncjuse Lo ue." t;Líiee inou may'tt have, uut senso tuou cajist Uuv uone, to be oí a poet." It is awful hard to realizo that a woiiiaii iá an augel wiien ouu sees her píele up a ciotuw-prujj íourieen íeet Ioiij lo drive a LWu-uuiice ciUCKeu out oí t.ie yard. An picure requested his landlord to yet luui a spare-iiu. Tue iuii-KoojI el' Ueclared üo tiad iiuiie biu aerooKearib. Wiuou Ue suouia ue uiad cuoiuli tu pare. wne wlis mu au Ciin't ii-ive auy diniicr uecaüsu stie couiuu'i et tUe wasuboiier lí uio siuve iu tiiiiu. A gentleman boiny pressed vei-y n;ira ni eomyuuy to iu, evea iie lnut su.e.nii. as.ui-oa tueu líe couid nou ousut-vea tesuly muy íutcuaoa lo inaüo ix uutt of mm. "üo, my ooa 8Ír, suiá Koot, '-wcuiuy waut to yuo n SLUVO out oi yoa." A belie, meeting her rival, saiel, ■villi au air oí' niuuli couooru : '-jVly doar, liovv oíd you louK lo-day. L sar you Iook so oíd !" " vv cll,;'sue qiueily rcyUca, "üni is not at ail. Wtítuaunuí, luí-, yon seo, 1 oawt ww bo oiu uuiore as 1 aui Lo-áay 1' At a crowded Freacii country tlieatre a wouun íell írum Uio gaiiery K tne jit, aua was piccd up oy ouö of the sueöunora, wiio, uéariag her groaimi, asltou her n slic was mjured. "ALuou iiijuioa!" uxcuiiineJ. tliu womuii, "i Buouid UnuK 1 iun. 1 liavo lost tue uwt seat m tiie very inidaiO oí nm iVuut ruvv." A gciuleinan inlonned by a bilí on tlio wmaow ot' a Jiouso, tuat "upartnwnu wwe to oe Let," ituowied at uio Uuur, anU, aUeiumd oy a prclty ïciiwlo I tuuk a survoy oí me proiuibus. J: ry I my uear," aid ue smniu, "are yon to be let witU tüese loa0m-V" "jNo,' replieU tUe lile aucluimoro ritli vívuciíy, "uul 1 aai to oe let uloue.' IC was ft bohl, brash cenans uiaa "Huw many kuls?" suid lie, añil sh Saiil, "Wtai ís til il to jouí" 'lts my ha ines ," and she creamedl "1.01110 liero a minute, Dau?" And a Imily perun canie :md put A he.id on Uie census au A gentleman ordered 1Ü9 seryant (a regular Pat) tu wake hiui at t o'clock that lic inilit ,et ro.uly to start at 7 by uu eariy cüacli, in wliich lio had taken Uis place, tor the cüuuuy. ïiie oeiitleiuan avvouu and cal.od lus man: MVInU o'clocU is itl" "Jast 7, your honor." "öisven- Uid I not teil you to, wake me at 6?" '"Yes, sir. -And? ■nliy did you ïiot?" "Bouause joujfhonor was usiccp."