Wit And Humor

TIio nsre of a polioeinan eau iiot bo tohl by liis rattles. A Wftg says f ï n toper : His noso , ha passod the rubicund. ïho snllisli in in cares for Tío. 1, and often no oiic cures tbr liitn, M.inya niiokle maltes :i miifkle, aml many a nuin'll inake a SÍLok 11. IVxt in little boy's copy-book : "It is a ferrule that works botli Wuys." Paper, whicli is alroady high is boiin.l to 'o higher wiien kite timo comes. Fii-íliionable yonhsf men aro liko tlicaii-c uills. ïimy aro posto. l on the waltz. "Deer at any prico !" ycllod tbe lmnjrry travclor who oi'dered venisoa tor diiiner. Wlicn a man h rolliirr in wealth li is fortune is nppropriatoly expi-essud iu rouml numbers. AVlicn you have got tbrongll nsinq: vour puzzles g'ivc tbem to tlio poor. We miglit get cid oí' tiie poor soinuway. Tlie hornet and the mulé aro too tendei'-heai'teil to look apon anfifuriii-í. ïliey always turu thcir b.ick vvhen tliey Ml'ike. "What is hnayrn's 1-Rst gift to man?"' she aski'd, siuilinsf swoutly on hini. 'vi Imfe," iie replied, witli prud ■nee. A familiar instaure of coloi'-blinilnoss is tliaL of a iiiaii takiii" a brown silk quiUrella an.l le ívíh a gfeeu ginghain in its plaoe. 'The (larky'a is just befora llio clawn," remarked Simbo, wiien he startod out before day-uuuk to steal a yjun;4' caicueii. Víctor Hago'a lnsfc boolc Í9 oillc.l "ïoiuc la Lyrtí." Victor is olJ ciuiluu to kuovr th.ú you cttn't toot the lyi-e, wliifili is a sirinyed iiistfuinciit. "Lie? well, I giicss lie does lio," salí Uis néihbor Jones. ''Wiiy, liu's so Ion. l ot' lying tliat lio won'l iota clook strike right lu tlio liouse." Play spades if you would win pofatoes;"play clubs if you would dual witli a ruffl.au; plny lieans if you would win íVieiidsiiip; piay uiiuiíonas if you would wül a woiiiul), One hundred and f.vunty-fivo boxes of elothes-pins ere Ütctutiud in tlio ludían suplies last year. Tncy were in tended to keep the Indiaas on the line of their reservation. One of tliose men who cheat othcrs on uitniiijj siiai'i's md uiaka their living by BwiuUliii"', Was shot dea i m Laidville. Deaui luves a, inining giiai'k A marricl man bouglit a spring cbiukeo in the inarket lile othcr moni"Í114, and ïiovv lie thhiUs the roason it was ca.lüd spring is Uccanso it will tak liim tilt uext to carvu it, unless lic uses uitrogiyoeriue. Wueii Jlrs. Büiva Lockwopd, tlio Wasiñnylon lawyur, askd au.lge tor a iirivaLü in lul' view, Lliu laUei', beiore U UilUbr Uliüiu; OliO WOTj l; .uitiu.ii u üoiuö any leap-year Ui'ita over Imn. An ii-ish druiainor who nuw and beu iiidul-ea in a noggin of poteeu vi8 awiosuhl by tüe revievnng g.:nsral : " V nat niakes yonr nose so i-eU? 'i'l.ize yer honor," replioil 1J it, "I ilways blush wueu 1 spiiko to a gmerai oiüoer. A yoiingstei-, whilo wanning hi8 UauJa ai tue thv, was reiuousn-nti-l Witu by lus lainui-, wlio saut : '-Go avray trom Uic lire; the we.uher is not col." "1 ain't litaung tue weaihr, l'ni ' wai'aiing uiy iiiiils," the Uluo ïellovv ueuiarely reylieii. Au hoiiöst Fi-eticU f.a-aior's idea of eoiumuuMtu: "After all," says tue fnend ffiu toeXpUiuÍii tüö SU 'jeol to mm, "U uil uie nioiiey owne.i 111 Franee Wore lo ue out togCLuef and cqualiy vtLvidea y.mr s.iai-e w-.ul l ue o..iy 05 irarfcs, aö eeiuini.-s. "Weü, Baya the Uoutüit iai-.,.er, "ihat WU) uiiati Uuve aliv.idy wouiuii't üc so baai"