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Wit And Humor

Wit And Humor image
Parent Issue
Day
27
Month
August
Year
1880
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

Few peowlo are iu selfish as to keep tfaeir upiiiioiis to theiiiselvo, A correspondent wishes i.o know if the "Lny on Mac. In ff" was 0110 of SuaUspoare's cfirlier poenis. "Wliat niakes tlie se: salt?" said tho tflftchcr, and yoimg Anierioa shoiuua, "The coilflsh thal vre in Jt." The blind man should bo tho most con ten teil mnn In the World, beoau.80 hcyan luive overything he aees. Tic drum is to be ibolisliod fi'om use in tho French arruy. For a long time it has boen a guara and a thiu oí' hollüvv pretcnsions. A litLle gili, dejinina; '-'bearina íalse witness aif;ii nst youi1 weighLfOi'," sa "ni "it was Vfhen nobody (lid nothinjf, and soniubody went unJ toid ot' it."' "Jíow tell me oaiulidly, are yon fruilty ?" a.sked a lawyei' oí ítú ciiuiu. "Wiiy, di) you suplióse I'd be t'ool TJi]ou2ti ík, w;,-o -.. ii' wus innocciii í'' "Sit down !" said a hervous oíd gentlemnn t lus sou, who was iniiktng too much uoise. '4 vvuii'L do il.,'' was tin; impudeut iuiswer. "Well, tlien, stana up, I will be oueyedl" Au Illinois ctaap, in describlng a galo o 'wind, Siiys : "'A white do-, whilu atteiuptiug to weather the gate, v:ts caught with liis moutli open, aud tunica coinpletely iusiac out." Aiijutant (to newfy-joiwed rewuit, wlio prescuu himsoif): "Weil, iuy Hiaii, wliut's your busiuuss?" iieeruUi "Shure llOW, it' i knew what 1 wantad, sliouid I Lio askiu you, boit?" Wlu:n :i youug liinnors wilb 111.1de he# first buy'.s panis ii-.-ci.sL'ly is simple beiore as Uchiiul, tUu iather ciclaimod: "üoodiwsê, üe vron't know wtieilicr lic is s'oni to school or (jomiug home I" Pnysician (to government clerk) - "Wei), what do you coiiipluin ui?" G. C. - Slecplessuess, tloctor." Physicu,u - -'At wiiat linio no you g to bcil?" G. C. - "Uii, I don'c nieuu at iii-ht; uut uuring' uilioo hours." Grandl'atlicr; '-You are B tupid, Cuaney; the uullest boyluver sav.;; (Jhaniu : "You must uot expoct me to understaiia tuiwgs as quickly asyou do, graudtather, Iwciiuso you üoai't havo the troubie tü et 'ein through your hair." Ilis said that tbe deepest gorgo in the woi'ld Las been discovered in Colorado. We always liaa ilie irupression that the oiggest goi'ge iu tuis country miyht be witnessed ata railway statioïi wliure tliu traiu stops "live mmu lus lor diunier." Auoldjudgcof the lievr York supreme uourt meeting a lïiend in a utiigUbot'Ul vuLie, uxclaiined, "Wny wliat are you dony here?" "l'm at work, tryiug to inaKO au Jionest living," was the reply. "Tnen you'U succced,,"said t.ie jauge, "ior you'll havo 110 coinpeüiion." Wlieu the political ituation was deoidmily couiphcated, a diploraatist askea Taileyrand oue uyjit lawaji '■üpiimJIm ■■.. -,..-- .. U.....1 ly, "wull, I írive one opinión in ilio morning and anothur in Llic alceruoQii, unt 1 liever have au opinión at iii1h.'; Liverstick lias buen ill for some wees, and Jones, meeting á mi tli, asks : íilovv's Liiverstick, tí.nitli - auy b;tsicüuiis'hopci'uivs CJiuith, '-his püyèd Joiius, "uiat's all very 'it.i'jSDondhis uuaertaker hopelulï That's more 10 tlie purpoe-" Jones is suen a peculiar lenovv. Wlien the Paris bonrso was agitated wiih eoinlicung runioi-s as to Uie dc.au of Geurde HL, a u.inker went to tae uduister oííoroiu aüUirs 1,0 pump uiui. "All I can tcll you," ropiiou ïiUieyraua to Uis iuaisereet queüuonw U mis: "rionie say he is deail, uiueaay je isrft; lor my part, I put uu lauu 111 uitliep tory. 'i"" i m ,-oiui .t.iof, muid. ïou will üe carefui hoi. lo wuil-omisu me m aiiy uiau1 our."

Article

Subjects
Old News
Ann Arbor Argus