Summary Ways

The head of a bnrea in an important government departmeirt haa long been afflicted with a friend who calis upon hini regularly and sits down, and sits, and sits. and goea on sitting till assault and battery beoomes a virtue. The other day this Bedentary bore ivas in the full exercise of bis functions, hen suddenly the oficial, wlio had been scrutinizing him closely, cries: "I knew it! 1 was sure of it! Confound those office-boys with their tricks on strangers. They've been putting glue on your chair' again. Hi, John, bring a spongne and a pail of water," and pressing with all bis weight on the shoulders óf hia viutim to keep him down he conttaUBB, "Don't stir, you'd tear the cloth sure! Nothing is half so adhesive as ghio on a cane-scat chair. Here, John, moisten this gentleman so that we can get liini loóse. Don't spare the water- the cloth won't shriuk or fade." The faithful messenger obeyed, and when the eperation is oonoluded, the oflBcial ooBducta the visitnr to the door and bids him farewell with the remark, "Perhaps you want to hurry home and ohange your clothing, so I won't keep you. " Gkod.-by bless you! If your pantaloons are Bpoiled let me know and Pil stop the price of them out of the pay of the infernal scoundrel if I can lin'd out who he was, and to that taak will 1 devote all the energies oí my lifetinie. and the whole niachineiy of the government. Adieu! The scoundrel' I thought for severa] daya past that there was aomething wrong." His friend goes like the visions of youth, never to return.