Wit And Humor

A boy reeent ly hanged himself because "somebodyfoundfault with bim." That boy was certainly not bonl to bé an edi A Western lawyef included ih his biÜ lia cliënt: "To waking up in ttighi and i about ybiir ciiau; It ia odd and sifthethiilg nielaticholy to ser a man tryirig to "makë tip' his mind" when he has no material oú hand to work with: omething terrible in f he cxer v,-]h:ii I o takea a customer by the nose and holds ■ a bright new razor over nis tlu-oat. Au editor in lowa has becomé BÖ hol'nw ■ printing 'is;' tha1 be proposoa to sull himself for a stove-pipë. It is bad enough to have dog days; but u is a much for good natnre to bé afflicted alse uitli oal nights; New York 0 i Advtrttuer. ■ '). who -. soméí thing, and was told to desist by her mother. Motlicr- "Ada, ani I to speak to yon againP" Ada - "Yes, ma, voú may, if you like." An oíd widuwei' says, wlien ybU pop the question to a Lady, do it with a kind of laugh, as if you were joking. If she accepts you, very good; if shedoesnotj you can say you were only in fun. An elderly resident of Newtown was approaehed by an agent for a eyelopedia. "I guess I won't gel une," said the èlderly resident, and frattkly added; "I know I nevercould Laarn to ride oud of the pesky thii A very good hit was made the other day by one of tlie defeated candidatea at a primary election. A gentleman approaehed him with, "Well, said he; "I feel pretty much like Lazarus did." "As Lazarus did?" "Why, yes," said he; "Lazarus was lieked bydogs; aud so was I." A new clerk in a dmg-store was dischargedthe other day because he didii't know how to look wise, roll his eyes, and say "seventy-flve cents" without turninsrediu tlïe face as he handed out a httle powdtítf that had cost the concern two cénta and a fraetion. - Emotioi) and business don't jingle. They wei ; togethei Sunday eveuing, with an albura ortwö betweeri tbem, when she pleasantly askedi "How would you like to have mymother live with yon?" In just fifteou seeonds he had lus hat half-way down over bis füL'e and was bolting through the gate. "Think," Bhuddérlögly' Kioans a Pacific co;Lst paper, "of joining heart and soul in a ballelujah chorus with an antiquated bonnet six months old! 'i'hcre is something shocking in the verv sug: i' sad that in all tho rö is no statement that new voi'fs wil! be furriished to tho ■ry day or two? A man vvho wás boni on the 29th oL February, said bö was bom forty-nine hut had a birthday only once in Eou ■ . Ilo was asked what ho bier threé pars, and sakl hef alibi. He must have becu thé man who, on bei ed a stranger, that said, '-i'vo seen you'bofore, replied, "Nó, 1 think not, for I um always somewhere else." Not long ago aö Irishmari anplied to an överseer m a ïyné shipyard to be' put on a job. He was informed that bis request could not be complied with; but as Pat conti nued to gaza at an anchor which was iynx ïh the vicinity the foreman repeatbd bis roply that there ;;s no orle for him and advised him to go awav. '-]ivil a bit will I stir, sorr, till I see the man that' s'goiog to ase that piek!" An English Vicar' v.as: standing on a Monday morning, at hisgate, whenono of bis parishioners arrired with a basket of potatoes. "What's this?" said the Vicar. '-'Pleaíe, sir," replied tho "it's some of our verv best taturs - q fery rare kind, sir. My wife said you should have some of thera, as she heard you sav i ion tiiat comJ idoa taturs didn't agree with you,"