The Doctrine Of Monroe

The powers grit their savage teeth and swear it is a sham;

They hurt their wild invective at our watchful Uncle Sam;

They call it "Yankee Impudence," "unmitigated gall,"

And hot as pepper from their lips the wordy droppings fall.

The kaiser gives his war mustache full many a nervous pull,

The earth is scarred by pawings of disgruntled Johnny Bull,

The croaking of the Frenchy frog join in the tale of woe,

But none of them dares monkey with the doctrine of Monroe.

The editors across the seas use vitriolic ink

In jotting down for public print the fiery thoughts they think;

They work themselves into a sweat of frenzied hotness while

They throw their puffballs at the wall in idiotic style.

Their people read the sizzling words and gnash their teeth in rage;

Their blazing eyes almost burn holes right through the printed page;

Anathemas from heated lips in sparkling torrents flow, 

Yet not a hand is raised against the doctrine of Monroe.

Meanwhile your good old Uncle Same sits in his easy chair

And reads the mouthing of the press with an unruffled air

And strokes the drapery on his chin and smiles serenely at

The fuss they're kicking up about a little thing like that.

He calmly smokes his good cigar, but in his eyes we see

A twinkle fraught with meaning to the sons of liberty;

It says that if a barking dog should dare to bite he'll show

The sort of backing that's behind the doctrine of Monroe!

-Denver Post.