His First Case

Tliere lives in one of the finest counties of Kentucky an aristocratie old gen tleman, who, though brave at a time of physlcal troublo, bas never succeeded in Bummonlns suffleient courage to shove Ii i 111 iuto tlie recklessness of puying a debt. Once the colonel was in debt to a grocer that lived in a neigliboring villaje. Ile must have been a new corner, for none of the "oldtimers" would trust the ulU fcfafclfrnrt"i Ouv luorning, jnüt -ifrr-r the colonel had sat down on the gallery to smoke, the grocer caine to the gute and shouted:"Halloa!" "Get down and come riht In, suli," the colonel cal led gettlng up and cordially advancing to meet the visitor. "I am delighted to see yon tilla brigbt inorning, ' rul the host when he had shown tlie grocer into the house. "You don't know me, l reckon," (he grocer responded, giviug the okl man a peculiar look out of hls keen eyes of trade. "Oh, most assuredly. You are the grocer." '■You bet. Did you get that bil! - or, ratlier, them twenty bilis - I sent you?'' "I presume so, hut I canuot siiy positively who sent them. I ret so many favors of the kind that 1 hardly know whence they come." I 'm a man of business an1 I want my ni'v without any palarveriu'. Do you uudei stand?" "Perfi'Ctly, sub, and I cannot blame you. Business can not be operated without money." "Hut are you goiu' to piy me?" "I can't pay you now." " When can you ?" 'Let's see; this is the lOtu of the nionth, aiu't it?" "That's what it Is." "Ah, ha! and to-morrow will be the llth." "That's the size of it." "Well, you come around between tlie llth and the lirst of next month." "Will you pay me then ?" "No, I don't thlnk I shall." "Then what's the use of my comin'?1' "None that I can see." "Not much. What I want ismy money, and I'm goin' to have it or know the reason why." "I don't mlnd giving you the reason. The reason appears to be that you'll not get the money. Now look here: I have always made It a polnt to look with favor on the methods of lile established by other men. You have your rules, and I have mine, hut because our rules differ it is no reason for us to füll out. One of your rules is to collect every cent that is due you. Allright. One of my rules is not to pay a cent. All right." "No it's not all rijrht; you bet your life it aiu't. You'vesimply got to pony up." "By the way, let me give you a little plece of advice wlth regard to that biil. Shall I?" "Ves." "Well then, sue me." "111 do it; you bet your life on that." The groe.er brought suit. The colonel promptly appeared. Ttie case went to trial and the grocer got judgment for $7. ''I want my money now," said the grocer. "And I want mine," the colonel replied. "Yours! I don't owe you anything." "Oh, yes. You see," the old man added, "the courts many years nyo granted me license as alawyer, and I'U be hanged if you hnven't giveii me my first case. Here is the license." "Wliy, I Iniven't gixea you a case." "Oh yes. I advised you to sue me and you did so. My fue is $10." "Mr. Hillings," said the judge (and he also owed the grocer), "you will have to pay the amount." He did so, closed hia store, shot the judge's cow and rau away.- Arkansaw Travele r .