Going Shopping

"Whcii ure you going to Pblladelphy, Marl?" asked Mrs. Santlia Ann Greenway as she rlDMd the coftee cupa and plxced tlieni on the waitrr. "To-morrer? lm so glad! My cbiokeo and butter money is come to eonsid'uble this (juarter, au' I want lots o' new things. Think you could get e'm? See.ms a pity for me to lose a whole day, an' spend inoie'n two dollars on tlieni pesky kears, when you've got to po ou business. 1 KUPS8 you could suit me; you use' Ier do all yer mother'i shoppinjr.'1 "Well, I could try, Santha Ann ; but I don' know. Women's fixen's is so cur'us! Wh:it you gotto git?" "I've got to liave some caliker gowns, fust au' loremost, I s'pose and Aclisy wants a tëw fixin's. However, it won't trouble you much, tor I'll have 'om all wiitout." An' fatber you must. fret wme bomespan for yourself. Yon reely haln't }?ot nntbtn' uiucli 'sides your weddiu' suit, an' mussy knnws tliat oujiht to be wore out, thougli it don't look disrespeelable yet; only I never liked tbem awallow's tails." "Pa going to the city?" asked Aclisa Jane, a girl of 16, coming in with a big loafofrye bread bot frora the kilchuu stove. "Oli, pa, please do take me." "He can't, Achsyj not just yii" said her mother. "You wouldii't want to go with your last ycar's bonnet on, that you ain't wllliu' to wear to pieuics even. You'd better set down wbat tbings you can't do without very well, but you must make the list short, Acbsy, 'nless your father should get more than he expects - more money I mean." "I'll make two lists," said Achsa, laughing - "one for sliort foddcr, the other for long. Well, I forgot," slie added as lier mother looked her diíapprobation; "I mean money." "Sue's a reg'lar boy, mother," eaid the farmer, with a chuckle, "au' slie always will be." "You'll take the bljj spring wng"on, I s'pose," said nis wi(e. "I wisb you'd git that five gallon can full of oil." Santha Ann had been itnposed upon by eome good Deiglibor of limited knowledge, and thought that all the bar-rooms In all the principal cities had been closed. Mart had never in his life been, 'so to say,' drunk; but once or twice he had beeu overeóme to the extent of taking a broomstiek for Satitha Ann, and sour milk for molasses; still, that was in the dusk of long years aio Asa general thing be never touched the "critter," aa his wifi' cullcd it. Mait sat juntlly behind his grnys, speculiiting on the probability of coming back full handed. He bad tetre;ly pit a liet le money for speculation in the hands of a business friend, quite prepared to lose if, but still hoper'ul. Scarcely had be reacbed the city wben lm met tilis same oíd arquaintance. "Good news for you " cried the latter. "I made a little cool hundrud for you on that vtnture. Do you want tiie money now, or shüll I invest agtiin?'1 "Well, I raytber guess 111 tnke it dow," SHid Mart, with bouuding pulses, "au' try acain 8ome otlier time. I'm in for business, and tbere's lots to be done for the folks to home. They don't know nolhing about ttiis you sue, an' I kinder w:int to surprise 'em.'1 "Veiy good; you shall bve it. Come rijílit in here to tliis restaurant, and Dl setlle with you." The two men en te red. Lunch was ordered, and witli tbe lunch wine. "I told Santha Ann I wouldn't drink no liquor," said Mart. "You see it goes to my head before I know it, an' I've got considerable business to do." "L'quort You wouldn't cali this mild and hannless beverage liquor, I hopi ? It has positlvely no ïutoxicating iflects. You miglit drink sixty glaspe?, and Uien l hink and walk straight. I've drank it all my lite." "VVell, seein's you say," 8;iid t!ie easv furmi r, '-I 3'pote I mayittst drink a lil tle. Only one glass will do." But mechauically M irt drank a9 oflen as his friend tillud up the Hl, aud thou"h be was conscious of no loss of steadines?, still he was so far onder its inlluence that he hardly knew wheie he was afier he had found his way to Hik tirst class store to which Bantha Ann had directed hiin. "What will you have?" asked the lite clerk. 'Til liev a cheer, providin' you can 'commodate me,'' said Mr. Mart, looking impassively at the clean shaved face before him. "I feel a little top heavy." A Cbalr was brotiglit. Mart took o il' his li at pbiced it on the floor, and sat ilown. Then he bcgan to fumble in his pockets, li i st his coat, then liis trousers, thi-n liis vi-st, mul linally, to the amusement of Uvo or tliree of the clerks ran;ed round, who were watchlng the proceedïngs, he turned the list out of an inside pocket of his vest, tojicther witli Santha Ac n' roll of bilis. "Bleege me by reariing them 'ere, if you please," he said with a solemn roll of iiis eye, iviug the list to the clerk. "Sintha Ami's wrote wliat she wants." "Indeed, ray friend, I can't make it out,'1 sald the clerk, after lookina it over. " K a-1-i-k-e-r,' I suppose that means calicó," he said, after spelling it out. "Well, yes, I s'pose so, Santha Ann's more of a scholard than I be," said the farmer. "Let me see. I guess I can git through it. Yes, I see, kaliker; seedsucker - I don't know wliat that is; cttton, a hundred yards, that uieans spool cotton, I cal'late; ball baby stockiugs; I wonder whose baby she means; we ain't got none. Catch a mare - well, that is cur'us. I don't cutch no mares on tliB expedition.'1 '"She probably means seereucker - in article for ladies' dresses - Balbriggan 8tockins and cashmere," said the clerk, politely, behind a smothered laugh. "Well, I'm glad you know - I don't," was MarC'8 answer; and together they made out the ll(t "You had better take your cotton and needie by the box; we always sell that way to parties out of town,'1 s.nid the clerk. "Here is something I think ineniis tiiitleen," he added, as he poiuted to a word undeilined - it wassutinet. "Well, we'll put these up to the best of our ability, and hare theui readv far you in an hour." "Very well," sald Mart, thickly. 'Til be here by tbat time. Help yourself out o' them twenty-tlve dollar, and jri' me the change if there is any; if not, I've got plenty of cash ;" and he swaggered out of the store. At a late hour he carne back, his wagon so loaded up that there was scarcely room to stw away the numerous bundlcs brought out of the dry goods houses. His gait was unsteady and his speech altnost unintelligible by this time, for he bad imbibed aeveral times slnce lunch, and even bouglit some of the articles in take lioine with him. Meantlmo, hia womenfolks passed a happy and comfortable day. Tfcere was liitle work to do, and no dinner to get. Santha Anu got out her sewing machine and gave t a thorough overhauling preparatory to the work she WM expectinjr to begin on the morrow. Achsa antieipated tlie eensation she should make In her ncw hat with a bunch of blooil-red poppios perched atop. "It would be nice to set in the congregaron, so lolks could see,'1 she said, half regretfully, to her mother. "Up in the choir nobody knows whetlier you have new thing8 or not." "Tliey'll know it, Achsy,'! sald her mother, rellcctively. "Hatsisconsplkyus nowadays." ''I guess we'll have tea, Aclisy," gid her mother. "I'm kinder goose tleshv; u cup o' hot tea'll do us good all round.'1 The meal over, Santha Aun w -ished the dishes in silence. Seven, 8, 9 o'clock struck, and still no sijjn of the deacon. At 10 Sautha Ann svent out, for the tventieth time, and peeied down the moonlighted rond. She was very uneasy, bnt when she retlected tbat Mart bad a good deal of business to attend to, and Achsa suggestcd that he had on one or two occasions before staid over niplit, she gave bim up at 11, and tbey all went to bed, the wldow included, who kept hor own coun-el. Could Ihey have seen not more than two miles trom home, in a secluded hollow, the object of their collcitude fast asleep, the jaded borses asleep as well, as the nioonligbt falling upon the portly ligure of the deacon, whose bat was pulled down over bis tace, they would liardly have d rea raed of midiilxlit assassins, boardliig house expenses, and eatlle feed, as did Sautha Anu the wbole nighX lona. All would have been well, for the deacon at least, if, as the sun rose ard he rose to, he had not applied to the bottle for comfort. Some way he dreaded to meet Santha Ann, when he reali.ed that he bad been all night coming home and bis befogged brain craved more of the stimulant which had so basely betrayed him. At early sunrise the three women sat down to breakfast, and tbat mtal over, came the thud of horses' fect and a shrill voioe bcating about the bush to the time of "We w-wonV' (very louü) "go home till inorning; we w-won't'1 (still louder) "go home till Sunday moruing, (hic) anyhow." Siintha Ann looked at Achsa with the heartbreak in her lace. "Santha (li ie), ole girl, come out here - gi!(' up, Dob! - come out herc! I've brung ye home a (liic) present - half a dozen of 'om - come along, Santha - long a long- upsy dumpsey, Santha Ann." Wcll, the disgraceful trutli was out. Santha, seeing the horror struck fice of the widow, Ha well as the pity In her eyes, straightened herself at once. Her pride took lire. "Achsy," she said, with flashing eyes, "your father's been mighty lueky or he wouldn't 'a took a single glass o' beer. I shouldn't wonder if be'd made a tliOUs.inil dollars!'' Tlien they both went out. The farmer was literally singing happy. He sang as he shook hands, sang as he unloaded, roared when he saw the widow, and wanted to dance with her; and floally, after drinking a strong cup of tea, he sat down eomewhat subdued, while the widow disc-reetly left and went into the kilclien. "Well, Santlin," laughed her husband, as the hired man took the horses away, 'Ve if I hnven't remembered ye! An' I diilii't tecli do liquor; I only took sume beveraye once or twice." Smitha Aun jfave hlin a look. "Well, I didn'l, Santhy Aun; you can look for yerself. Them's the anieles, but I don't know wliat they be." Then he sat back and sung: Come, ye dlscoQéolat6. "Seems's if I 'aint feit so musical Inclineil for a year. See, there's a c-carpet-s-s weeper, an' a eradle, an' an ice scienmer, an' lots more things." ■'Man alive?'' exclaimed Santha Ann, in disinay; "what on earth do we want of a carpet sweeper? We haven't got a carpet in thla house!" "Git some, tlien, Santhy Ann - git lots of 'em; they're just laying round loóse at that store. Git plenty, or the carpet sweeper'll be kinder lonesome,'1 he added, witti a maudlin grin. "And what do we want of a eradle?" was the next question. "Well, it sort o' reminded me, Santhy Ann, looking far back'ard into tuture yearq, that we was all babies once - all bables once! Santhy Ann the recollectiou was kind o' subduin,' an' I sort o' wanted that eradle to medítate over. You know its from the eradle to the grave. The good Book tells us, Santhy Ann, 'Beloved bretheren, we're all pilgrims an' travelers'; an' even Bunyan's 'i'ilgrim's Progresa' laid its infant head in a eradle. So I jest got it for a remerabrancer, Santhy Aun - from the eradle to the grave!" He took out his handkerchief and held it to his eyes. Achsa flounoed out of the room, and with an expletive uot at all lilial ran up to her own room. "But what do you mean by an ice creamer?" tearfully urged his wife, "that ■thing wilh the cliurn handle?1' "That is it, Achsy Ann - I mean Santhy June; you can make gallons of ice cream for Achsy an' me." "But we never sec ice here," ciied hls wife, at her wits' end. 'Hire Spot pond next winter, Santhy Ann; jest hire Spot pond, the huil of it, an' wu'll hev a corner in ice ourselves an' make enough ice cream to last all winter." "And what is thU?" asked his wife, picking up a laige rol I. "Jjot's o' sheet music for Achsy; 'nough to last her as long as she 11 ves. Got it at a bargalD, Banthy Ann - got'em all at bargains, horse-hoes an' all." Suntha Ann groaned. "But Achsy hain't got no piannei" slie sald despairingly. "Nor no organ, nor anything." "We can buy 'em, Santhy- lot's of 'em; they'll be handy to htv in the family," muttered the farmer, now ball asleep. "And this awful thiug!" Santha went on picking up a hldeous steeple crowued hat - ''the awfulcst thing I ever saw, and the ooarsest. It's a man's straw hat!" "Taln't. I got it tor Aclisy, 'n I got it cheap, too." This was too much. The woman threw the hat across the floor, stumbled over bundies and boxes and farming imlement-, and made for the door. She turnee! round for a final question. "Did you get something for a suit of clothes?" she asked, her facial muícles contorted. "I did, Santha Ann- I dld," he answered, solemnly with a side wave of (ContlnueJ ou fourth page.) ;IXG SHOPPING. (Continued from flrsl page.) his rirht hmd. "I got fifty yards. Make om loose, Santliy Aon- make 'ein loose there'a plenty o' material." Between cfying mul crylng the woman went out of the room, and pat down in the kltoheo, almost ready to despair, "Wcll" sak] tlit; wldow, wlio was now wiping up the last of the dishes, "no one can't say bal he's a good prowider." "I'd just llke to liear aiiyone say anythlng about it!'' muttered Santha Ann, Indlgnantly, and the wldow tneekly subsided. "Wcll, I s'pose I must fill the lamps. Tbank heaven lie did gittheile!" said Santha. " It'a a blessed mercy it didu't roll out o' the wagon." And she went slowly out in the hall, where the big five gallon jar stood. Through the open door she could see tbat Mart had arisen and was staggerlng round. He s:v hor lift the can, and spoke: "You bet your life, Satithy Ann, I had min'able work keepiu' tbat thing from aplodlng. I put my foot onitaud beid my umbreller over it to keep it out o' the moonshine, in' the cork popped out au' I Stuffed it up best I could. Don't 3'ou never send me after no kerosene o more." "I won't send you after anythinjr, if I know ïnyself,'1 snapped his wif e, and took up the can. "My gracious to goodneps!" she eried, as she tried to decant somo ol the il u UI into a smaller flask, "what's thia?" "Kinder looks like ni'lussee," said the widow. "Uh, beavens! it is! Whcn wlll my troubles end?" sohbed Santha Ann. "Five jrallona of nood sweetetllng utterly spoiled ! I do think ihat's the straw too much, an' I won't hear it - I won't. 11 1 send Mart ubout his bizness. To think he must 'abeeu drngged by soine wicked, designin' villen ! " "Oh, well, men '11 do them tliings," sald the widow. "S'pose he went on that way right along?" 'I'd - I'd kill him, I bleev1," muitend Santha, fiercely; tben her v.yv. feil on the roll that brtd done duty as a cork. She lookcd at it tbrough tear dimmed eyea as she pieked it up. It was creased and tutnbled and smeared wiih molaases, but neverthele.-s Bhe siniled a sickly sinile and thrust it into her pocket. Tben alie went hack into the living room, and fouud that Mart hud fallen asieep on tlie lounge. Slio hegan to investiüate Ricain, openlntt bundie after bandle, bouw to her Batlsfaclion, others falrly her blood buil, as she afterward Intimated to Aobia. Thpre were patent grldlrons, coffee pols, broilers, u machine with ponderóos wiuys for keeping off Bles, tb ree rat trapa ol different designs, all patented, bos of nerdIfs. red cotton, and darnlng implemento - thins that she never eould use. There were over torty yards of uiteen, a wliolt plece if calicó, a shawl tliat would have matelud Joceph'8 coat, wbich her iflVctioDnte spouse had doubtless intnded for a present, a pack of carda, a knittinjc machine, chilü's rocklng Chair, and a sinall patent iron bedstead. Besidts rhee there were packages of candy, crockery, crackers, cakes, and a doeu or two of caiiiicd vegetables. "Wiiat ever wlll I dof slghed Sautha Ann; "What shall I do?" "Well, you can sell sonie of 'em." S iiiiha Ann looked up - there stood the ubicjuitous widow, a broad smile on her face, as sho took in the situntion. "Ño, Í won't. l'il keep the huil of 'em, an' if Mart ain't a wiser man after he gits over the spree, 111 know the reason why." Tlien she went upstairs. Achsa stood by llie wlndow wiping her eyes; she had been erying. "Xever you mind, dear," said her tnotber, her kind maternal heart stirred; "don't go to feel bad." "I don't s'pose he even thouj;bt of my bat," eaid the #irl tearfully. "Xo, dear; nottherigiit kind of one, but he " "I knew he wouldn't. l'H never trust ii i ni ngain." "But he did get luts o' u=eful ÜliogS, dear." "Yes; the carpet sweeper, and the eradle, and tiie iee e-eam churu and the " '■Wcll, wcll, let's make the best on it, AfClisy." 'ït'H be all over tovvu," sobbcd the girl. "Yes, but " "And I can't go to church next Sun day, and all the gtrla with thuir uew liat! I won't wear the old one - I Vuw 1 won't.' "You sha'n't, my dear. We'll go into the city Ourselves by tiie train, you and I." "That'í llkely wbeii fatber'á spent all lus inoney and you ra too." "Ijook here, Aohsy !" Achsii looked. What did she see? A big roll ol bank bilis whlch her niother llnuiishcd iu the air over her head. "Oh, Acbsal there's a biindred dollars! IIow he come by Vm I doa't know, an' how he kept 'em 1 c.in't saj' ; but there they are, au' it almost takes my breath away to Ihlnk where I lound 'em. He had rolled Vm up and put 'em for a cork in the nose of the kerosene can, an' the eau was full of molasses." Slie stopped ïiow to laugh. "Ef he hasn't been on a canter, then my name ain't Santha Ann. Won't he be as-hauied? deacon of the church and all! Oh, we've got him well undei ! lic won't dare to say 'city' to me r'or a year to come; not till the day of hls deiith. I'in going to put the eradle in my bedroom rlght afore his eyes, au' the cream fieezer, au' lots o' thingg, an' I'm i-'"inr to 'proprlate that bundied dollars, too. I Won't spend it all, though, only make up for the things he didu't git; and L'll buya carpet too, Achsa, so't he didn'i iil that uweeper in vain." "Uli, moiln.'r!" cried Achsa, drying her leurs, "How soon ca:i we go?" "Weli, 1 oal'lute we ean go to-dav, If we can }íit ready in an hour. The vulow says she'll !-t:vy here till we come back, so's to git the dintier. We'll see how our shopping compares with his, an' we won't drink no beveragea either. Hut, Achsy, Í s"))ect if we weren't the victime, we'd "split our sidvs taugbiDg over the deacon a purcliases." When Mart woke up, about 1 o'clock' be found his dinner ready and lis wlfe nd dabghler misslag. 1I(! had a confused idea that he had driven them botb from home, and was Inconsolable til! the widow banded a unte from bis wlfe, whlch ran thus : "Mart Ingram - Youcum boain beestly drunk this morning at suu-up. Ain't you asbamed au' you a deekon of the ehurch !!! "Now I hev jrot to fioe in toun to git. things reely Deeded, and l've took that hundred doilars you stopped up the kerosene with. It won't be mie faalt if I doant spend every cent of it, thou I doant know how you got it - gambolled for it, perbaps. J5y the time I come home I hope you will be sober ! " He was. He lived on huinble pie for a ïiionth, and woie lackcloth and ashes in meeknesa and repentance for a year. Never once did he ask for the change of his hundred dollars, but he nlwaye looked meditatively at the brlght ligured carpet wbloli Ndurna the parlor to mis day, and whlch hc unwittiiigly conjared out of the carpet sw eeper. But lie never tuucbeil wlne agaiQ,and "beveraites' of every deSCrlptlOD, exoept tea and Cüffre, lie always afterward declined. - Mary A. Denlson iu Harper's Bazaar. "At Insl, I can tat a yood FOuare mea) without lis dlstreasing me!" was the gratittul exeïamation of one wiiose appctite had been restorcd by the use of Ayijr's Sarsaparilla. after yeais of dyspeptic niist-ry. A teuspoonfll] of Ihis extract befoie eaoh meal sharpens the apjetite. _ The curvHture of tbe eartli ia stich thal a sfraiht line a rulle long would be 2.04 lachea at either end.