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Recent Discoveries

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The discovery that swarms of benefioent bacteria called phaecytes inhabit the blood vessels and destroy the invading bacteria oí disease. except when the latter appear in overwhelmintf numbers, bids fair to revolutionize the practice of medicine. Already an eminent physician has declared that in the future the aim of the med cal man will be to Btrensrthen the muscles, constitution and appetite of the phajrecytes so that they will be able to kill and eat a greater number of bacteria than now satisfies their wants: and he maintains that by kind and judicious treatment the efficiency of the phlasrecytes can be greatly increased. But has he not forgotten the lessen so often taught by the domestic cat? It is her business to kill and eat the mice that infest her master's house, but if she is treated w th injudiciouskindness and fed with good food she disdains to sully her paw with mice and sponds time sleepins? on the hearth rug. If our pbagecytes are treated too well may they not prove as unprincipled as cats and allow our systems to be overrun with all sorts of bacteria? Herr Juenomann'saspbyxiatory shells, which can render a whole army unconscious for three or four hours, may not provo to be available for purposes of war, but as a means of accomplishing political revolutions with neatness and dispatch they will prove invaluable. The Nihilist will no longer be compelled to risk his precious life in handling dynamito, neither will he ftnd it necessary to blow monarchs into fragments and thereby draw upon himself the disapprobation of punctilious peopie. The Boulangist will never again commit the mistake of trusting to the vote of the people and the Irishman will cease to waste powder upon landlords. Revolution will ba carried out by the simple and humane process of asphyxiating the authorities, who after being unconscious for three hours will on recovery find the Government in the hands of the revolutionists. The Juenemann shella can hardly fail to become immensely popular in South ica, for wiih their a d revolutions can tako p y at a trilling expense and wit bou htest disorder. Whod revolut:ons are aiiomplished in this quiet and peaceful way it will no lomer be possibie to talk abou t the anarohy and bar barato of the South American States. Indeed, a South American revoluti on w 11 be orderly and peaceable in compar son with an ordinary election in tho L'nited States.-


Old News
Ann Arbor Courier