_Ethel- "'Why, Charlie, whatdoyou mean by wearing these blue goggles?" Charlie - "Your beauté' is so dazzJing, my deur " Engagement annoiinccd next day. - It is not generally the p-ii-1 with the beatjx who gets married first. It is the littie, grave, demure g-irlwho s;ts in the comer with one young man and hangs on to hira.- Demoresfs Monthly. -"Charlie is learning to play the cornet." said young Mrs. Tocker. "How do you know?" "I heard him teil Jack Dashton he had been on a littie toot. I think it is so considérate oí him not to practlce around the house."- Washington Post. [aid - "I am sorry, tut ÜUadam is not receiving to-day." Shoemaker (who has called to collecta Httle bill)- "Oh! thafs nothing. I am today. Teil her it's five dollars and thirty-five cents, picase. "-Demorest's Monthly. - Little Suzon takes to the village priest a splendid pat of butter, ornarnented with fantastic scrolls. "With what does vour mother malee those pretty designs, my little girl?" "Oh, M. le Cure, she does it with our combi"- Memorial de la Loire. - HecouUl writo :i artlcle that would make you talrly roar, And his after dlnner speeches were with humor brlmmmg o'i r, But when left to mimi tho baby his resources flatly failed. And the fnnnii r he trled to bc, the more the baby walled. - Terre Haute Express. Customcr - "Got some pills f or sore eyes?'' Clerk - '"Yes; tliese are said to be excellent f or sore eyes." Customer - "How do I take 'cm?" Clerk- "ïwo every fourhours." Customer- (Returning from the front of the store after ten mrnutes or so, holding a red bandana to a watering eye)- "See here! the doctor that thinks a fellow can keep two of them pilla in his eye for four hours must be erazy; why !n't he make the pesky thinga so they'll melt up when you put 'em in?"- Pharmaeeutical Era. - Arranging the Offices. - "Now, in this little republic we are going to tablish," remarked Mr. Hunker to his fiancee, "of course I shall be President." "Yes," replied the rare and radiant malden; "and I'U be Secretary of the Treasury." "Perhaps we had better consolídate the offices of President and Secretary of the Treasury," suggested the young man. "You can havo 9 Cabinei place, however. IIow would you like I i do your own c-ocking anl be Sccretary of the Interior?"