His Wife Knew Short Hand

lli' was n Khe mldsl ol a dlBcussion uu the wo of man and the Indilference .111.1 bhoughtleatmesg ol roman when he noticed that bia wife was uslng a pencil lndustriously. "Maryl" he excfaimed, "wha1 are yon dolng?" "Shorthandlng your remarks, John, 8h sald quietly. Then, as he glared ai her, she continued: "You talk a greal deal aboüt belng consistent, John, and say you never fiinl faull excepi the greatesi provocation, I ehould llke to read you a few extracte from my uotebook. This Is d vrbatlm report ol a briel conversatlon thai took place nighi belore lasi: "llary, wtoere In thunder are my slippers?" ■■.lusi where you lelt them, niy dear. mlIUnery shoips to pul 'em by my easy a i ■ wile. Too buüy running around milll'üery Bhopa m iu t 'rui dy my easy diiii-, where i can reach 'em, I suppose. here iliil I leave 'emï Come, trol 'em out, aml be qulcb aboul It. The dra ol making me go chaalng all over iliis measly house atter ëlippera when I'm all tin'il out. Doii'i you care anythlng for me ai all? "And iliis, John, I took down last olght; "What's th matter, John? "Matter! Matter, Mrs. Blinklns! Sumí' Insplred Idlol i;i pul my slippera rlght in tbc middle ui the Hoor tor me to stumble over. Started to look ior 'em and pretty nearly i ■ 1 on Kin nftniy Inad. Sonic people liavcn'l got scnsc to Aas1 a canarj blrd over Dighi . Vhy, John, yju eald - "Oh,' of couree. i nald to pul 'on riLilu where I V-onld sicp on Ym and roll ovor and break my neck. TIku's insi llke me, imt Uyou'lljusi leave 'em ín the aame place every nlghi ril gel 'cm without erippling myself for Ufe. "To-might, .lohn, yon start in Hke tliis: "Mary. l Buppoee yon ve ]iu muse slippers ol iniiK' in the cellar, or under the kltchen range, or somewhere. ou can find more blamed fooi hlding places 'i-in tli.-ui ;iny one I know. Here I'vo ibeen hunting tor 'em tor Uiteen minutos. Hyou've got bralns enougn to grasp one sin.nh'. solitary Idea, 1 wUb you'd - "And tunen, .loiin. yuu noticed T ws taklng notes and stopped. ií yon wlll go cwi- " Rut .lolini glammed the evenlng pnper toto Ji corner, klcked over ;i chair, .i.nd exclalmed In disgust: "Well. that'a the last time I'll marry my type-wrlter." And now he's tryinir to explaln lus last remark.