Sparklings

The church doesn't roast herética now- it fires tliem. Blooiner - Which do yon prefer, beer or champagne ? Blossom- It all depends. Bloomor- On what ? Blossom- Who pays for it. Tommy- Ma, I dropped those lrtters you gave me to post. Mother (excltedly)- Dropped them! Where ? Tommy (calmly)- In the letter lx. Mother- Tommy, yon nms.urt go fishing wlth Preddy Slocum. He is just gettlug over the measles. Tommy- Tin-re ivon't be any danger, ma. I never catch anythtng when I'm fishi - ■ - - A wit was asked by Peg Woffington what dtfierenee therë was bet ween her aaid a watch, to which he Lnstantly replied, "Your watch, madam, makes iis remember the bours, and you n us forget them." Mre. Newwed (handing tramp sevwal biscuits) - Here, my poor mam, are gome oí my home made biscuits. You wül önd the saw and ax In tfae woodehed. Tramp (closely cxainining the biscuitM Are they aa bad as that, mum ? Thackery lis us oï a woni.in begglng alma trom Wm, who, when she saw him put hla hand in hls pocket eried out, "May the blesaing oi' heaven follow you all your lifc!"' bnt wlit'ii he only pulled'-out hie Buuff box, ini iiK'diately added, "and never overtake ye." A Yankee went one day to hear a great gun oï the Engli.sli church In Loudon at Easter (de. The texl uas. '-And the lion shall lie down with the lamb." The Yankee being asked -.vliat lic thonght of the .sermón, said, "Véry nood, but I gucss the lamb will be lnslde fche lloo."