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Our Wit And Humor

Our Wit And Humor image
Parent Issue
Day
22
Month
May
Year
1895
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

LITTLE CHINA figure On a little bracket sat, His little feet were always crossed, He wore a litt'.e hat. And every morn[ngr, fair or foul, In shine or shadows dim, A pretty little housemaid carne . And softly dusted him. She took him up so gently, And with such a charming air, His china soul was melted quite, And loved her to despair. All day he sat and thought of her, Until the twilight came, And in his china dreams at night He breathed her little name. One day, whilst being dusted, In his joy he trembled so, To feel her little fingers, that, Alas! she let him go. In vain she tried to grab him back, Fate willed it they should part; He feil against the fender edge And broke his little heart. She gathered up nis fragmenta, And she told a little lie, Expounding to her mistress how The cat had made him die. And on the following morning, when The shutters back she thrust, She spoke his little epitaph - "There's one thing less to dust." An Old fc-kipper's Yarn. Down on the Battery the other day they were talking about a schooner that had been struck by lightning, when the reporter singled out an old mariner and said: "Captain H , it seems to me I've read or heard of your being struck?" "Tes, she was," answered the old yarn-spinner. "Where was it?" "Off Point Aux Barques, about flfteen years ago. Very strange case that. Probably the only one of the kind ever heard of." "Give us the particulars." "Well, we were jogging along down when a thunderstorm overtook us, and the first flash of lightning struck the deck amidships and bored a hole as big as my leg right down through the oottom." "And she foundered, of course." "No, sir. The water began rushing n, and she would have foundered, but there came a second flash and a bolt Etruck my fore topgallant mast. It was eut off near the top, turned bottom end up, and as it came down it entered the hole and plugged it up as tight as a drum. When we got down to dry doek we simply sawed off either end and eft the plug in the planks."- Texas Siftings. A Mere Trine. "They are gettlng up a subscrtption for the benefit of the poor- how much will yon subscribe?" asked Russell Gage o,f Pete Amsterdam. "Just as much as you do." "Oh, you are a hará-hearted wretch!" Tommy Asks Ouestioas. "Mamma!" gaid Tommy McSwilUgen n his earnest marmer. "Well, Tommy?" "Did papa créate moths?" "Now what on earth put such a preposterous idea as that in your mind?" "But, mamma, ain't moths the little Bies that get in your furs?" "Tes, but what ha;? that to do with vour papa's creatlng them?" "Why, I heard you Teil Mrs. Squildig that when papa heard how much your aew dress cost he matUr the fur fly "- Cleveland Plaindealer, A Qnestinn of C olor. Sam Johnsing - Has yv.r lubly darter Matildy made her debop? Mrs. Crow- Not yet, M.T. Johnsing. "Dat's a great pity. Sich a lubly flower was not born ter blush unseen and waste her fragranco on de desert ir." "She can't blush any odilsr way 'cept Dnseen, she am so dark complectecS, jut her sister Mollie am Siveral shades ighter. You can see her Wush almost ïbery day."- Ex.

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Subjects
Old News
Ann Arbor Courier