Bike And Bloomers

"What was the peculiarity ofMethue elah?" asked the teacher. "He lived to be very old without ever learning to ride a bike," answered tin smart boy. - Yonkers Statesman. It is stated that the falling off in the demand for cigars in the United States last year amounted to 7,000,000, ani this loss is largely credited to eyeling. Doctor - I'm surprisel that the whee! hasu't had any effect. I thought sureh the exposure would hring tlie color to your cheek. Fair Patiënt - There can't be much exposure the way they are making bicycle dresses this spring. - Detroit Journal. "It is unnecessary for me to dwel longer on the many virtues of the deceased," said Rev. Dr. De Biker at the close of the solemn services. "You al know the splendid account he has rendered of his stewardship, and he always rode his svheel on the right hand side o! the .street."- Detroit News. A great crowd had gathered to see and to bid on the greatest curiosity in the world. The auctioneer's catalogue described it truly as "the only thing o its kind in existence," and collectors, who liad come from all parts of the country, acknowledged that it was unique. When the auctioneer ascended the rostrum there aws breathless silence. "It is unnecessary for me to prove that this curiosity lias no doublé in the world," he began. "You all know that another like it does not exi.st ; that this is the only low-grade bicycle on earth. Has any one here ever heard of a lowgrade bicycle before?" "No! do!" the shout went up. The flrst bid was $500, and the bidding rapidly went up to $8,000, at which figure the bicycle was awarded to an agent of the National Museum in Washngton. - New York World. The situation of your house suits me, num," said Norah McCarthy, who had visited the home of Mrs. Tenspot with a view of iuspecting the inducements offered for her to assume the position of ïelp-lady in the household. "I ara glad you like it," replied Mrs. Fenspot, with becoining humility. "The pay you offer is satisfactory, too, and the number of people in the family. Che room your help-lady occupies is retty good, too, but I must ask a few more questions before I make up my mind to reuiain in your service." "Certainly," replied Mrs. Tenspot, mmbly. "Ask all you like." "Do you ride a bicycle?" "Yes." "Do you provide a bicycle for your cook?" "Yes, certainly. We have one for her exclusive use." "lam glad of that. Somepeople seem to think that cooks ought not to ride a wheel." "Oh, we would not think of depriving our cook of that privilege.'1 "What make is the wheel?" "The same make as Mr. Tenspot's and my own - the Ripsnorter." "Then, ma'ani, I'm sorry, but I can't come." "Why not?" "I don't know that make. I couldn't thiuk of ridin' any thing but the Jimdandy make of bicycle. Good-by,mum."