Dooley On City Ownership

"What we need in this counthry," said Mr. Dool ey, "is many-cipyal ownerBllip." "Oh, ave," said Mr. Hennessy in a puzzled tone. "What we neeil," said Mr. Dooley, "is inuny-cipyal ownership." "Sure," said Mr. Hennessy. "What is it?" "Here's a paper about it," said Mr. Dooley. "I got it off a man tliat was in liere that'd just been discha-arged be Yerkuss ('r stoppin' at a stlireet corner f'r passengers. He gave it to me. He's in favor ov it. "Ye see 'tis this way. Th' city is goin' to own tli' sthreet railroads an' th' gasliouses an' th' ilicthric lightin' planta an' all. Th' city'll own thim an' r-run thim f'r th' binifit iv th' people an' a ma-an instead iv payin' a nickel f'r ridin' in th' sthreet ca-ar to a la-ad he niver see befure will thransfer th' coin fr'm wan pocket to another an' ring up wan fare f'r himseli. "'Twill inake tliings good in politics again. Since th' clan wint to pieces an' me Boolgahrian frind Misther Kraus come into his job, politics bas been so quiet an' simple in th' sixth wa-ard that anny Germán cud undherstand thim. But whin we have muny-cipyal ownership 'twill be difTrent. Willum J. O'Brien will be president iv th' sthreet ca-ar company, if le don't ac-quire it be degrees be that time, an' me frind little Jawnny Powers '11 r-run th' gasliouses. They'll meet together th' night befure th' prim'ries. 'Is Casey with us?' says Powers. 'I'm afraid not,' says O'Brien. 'I heerd him cali f'r Mclnerney to sing 'Gawd Save Ireland' at th' picnic.' 'I'll cut off his gas to-morrow, an' do you see that he walks downtown f'r th' rist iv his nachural life,' says Powers. 'How is Adofski, th' Polish man?' " 'He's thrue as steel,' says O'Brien. 'Him an' his tin thousan' Polackers is with us to a man.' 'Give him a season pass an' I'll see that his meter is turned back a few thousan' feet,' says Powers. 'He's a good man. Is his brother wurrkin' ?' 'I spoke to Coughlin las' week f'r to make him superintindint iv th' tiliphone coinp'uy, but he had a man f'r th' place - th' big fellow nauied Smith that done up Sandy Walters.' 'That's just like Coughlin,' says Powers. 'He's a perfec' hog. Didn't we lave him put Jawnny Sterchie in as threesurer iv th' elearin'-house las' year? Ye'd betther see Breiman an' ask him if he can't make Adofski's brother his sicrity in th' ilicthric light wurruks. He's a good man. He can't read or write.' 'I'll do it,' says O'Brien. 'Are th' boys r-ready f'r to-morrow ?' 'They ar-re,' says Powers. 'All r-ready. We'll have five thousan' in th' war-ard an' wan thousan' to go over in thrucks to th' twinty-ninth whin Mclnerney goes f'r to vote th' imployees iv th' Town iv Lake lines. He's goin' to stop th' cars all day. Don't ye think we'd betther do th' saine?' 'Ño,' says O'Brien. 'If we don't have some ca-ars r-runnin' how eau we get th' boys fr'm wan prim'ry to th' other?' 'Willyuui, ye'er a janius,' says Powers. 'But how about the gas wurruks?' 'Shut thim down,' says O'Brien. 'Our fellows can wurruk a dale betther in th' dark.' "So they can, so they can. I'll go to th' saloon now an' declare au exthra dividend. We'll need ivery cint to-morrah. I hear Mclneruey is givin' gas away free f'r this week.' 'Th' ma-an's foolish,' says O'Brien. 'Th' day afther th' prim'ry I'm goin' to ask ye to cali a meetin' iv tli' directors to raise th' price to $5 a tliousan'.' 'I'm afraid we can't get a quorum,' says Powers. 'Manny iv th' la-ads is out of town. .Spike Hinnissy is off with his sthring iv horses an' th' big Swede lias been t xthradited to New York f r blowin' a safe. Tliin Carlson is out throwin' th' ghclls afther a circus, an' only you an' me aa' Brenner is left iv th' wliole boord. 'Well thin, we'll have to pump in a littie air,' says 0'Brien. 'We've gut to et square soinehow.' 'Th' people'll kick,' says Powers. 'Iv coorse they wiil,' s:_v.s O'Brien. 'They kick about iverything. Oh, 'tis a thankless task to sarve th' public. Tin iv th' best years iv me life have I spint in their iiithrests, an' I'in growin' tired. I've half a moind to take what there's left in th' dhrawer an' lave this ongrateful couutliry.' An' thiu they'll go away together. "Oh, 'twill be a great thing f'r th' city whin itgets goin'." "It'll never get goin'," said Mr. Hennessy. "And why not?" said Mr. Dooley. "Because th' la-ads that has hold now have a grip ye cudden't break with an ice piek." "Perhaps ye'er right," said Mr. Dooley. "An' I don't know but what I'd as soon have Powers an' O'Brien aa thim we do have. lts only a question iv who does the robbin'. Th' diffrence is between pickin' pockets an' usin' a lead pipe."