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Mr. J. H. Williams, of Norristown, complains that a southern poetess rhymes "corn" and l'gone." Well, that's correct; thafs a good rhyme where tbe poem waa written and theauthorcan'tbe responsible for the vagarles of pronunciation all over America. In the land of the cypres-i and myrtle, where they say "coan" and "'goan," what is the matter with making thern rhyme? Now in the empire of Arkansas if a poet should write, He askerl you to give him a kiss, did he? itwould trouble his New England collaborator to end the next line of the couplet with "yesterday," hut be of Arkansas goes eahnly and correctly on with, No longer than jist yistiddy. So, also, tlie poetdaovvu in Varmaount can rbyme "loss?1 with '-norse" and "calí" with "trough." Moreover, any roet in therepublic outside of Pennsylvania, Indttlng an ode to a ml] Imomi raihvay in that state, wouldmake "rending" rhyme with "bleeding," but the peop!e iiO live on the Une of the road would use "bedding." (Tliey do, too; the old fashioned Pennsylvunia Dutoh kind, one feather bod to sloep ön, and three to cover with.) You see the poet, dear Williams, rhymes by ear and not by sight. THE OLD AND THE NEW. "Alas," mourníully exelaims a Boston clergyman. "the old fashioned way of making love has passed away with our fathers." In behalf of the young people of this generation, we return thanks for this blessin. The old fashioned way of niaking love, as we understand it, must have been adreary affair. A man began, if we catch the rat, by making love to his fatuer-in-law, whom he hated, and his mother-in-law, whom he greatly feared. He called hii sweetheart "Respected miss," and once in a while got a chance to touch her finger tips icily in a dance as he teetered past her like a stork on stilts, for in such manner of jointless grace and frosty merriment, children, did your grandores dance nounced dawnce). Ar.d for all tbis- wnat Horace Greeley would cali "Arctic circle of irigidity"- my son, your grandfather loved your grandmother- soft and flagrant be the "oíd fasbioned roses" that bloom above her- no better, I wot, than you do the girl you feed on indigestible caramels and corn starch ice cream, while you fill her ears with the most idiotie chatter that ever drove a sensible manmad. Out! Out with you I Out of my siht and hearing! By Venus' glove, if ever aain I hear you talk to a girl as I overheard you talk to Kitty last night, I'll brain you with something soft, if I knew where to hit you After all, may it not be that our fathers were not such half baked f ools as their sons? I will read over a few of my own old love letters and see. COMMEN-CEMENT 13 OVER. The country, and incidentally the universe, is safe for another year. We have been in great peril, but our dariger has been pointed out andnotonly fso.but the way to safety has at the same time been so clearly indicated that the wayfaring man, though a Mugwump, need not err therein. An abyss of frihtful depth has towered above us, overshadowing all this fair land with the deadly blight of its malarial breath in accents that chilled the heart with the Upas like touch of its basüisk glance, that eelioed from sea to shore. But you have sa ved us, my boy; you and your fellows have snatched us from this living grave, whose hmigry breakers dashed theiv blinding spray ar.d wreathed their angry flames in lurid tongues about our feet. Youitiswho in this month of leafy June have told us of "The Perils of the Republic;" "The Labor Problem;" "The Duty of the Hour;" "The Decay of Patriotism ;" "Work and Wages;" "The Deterioratiou of Manhood;" "The Labor Question;" "The Decline of Statesmanship;" "The Labor Agitation;" "The Weakness of a Republican Form of Government;" "Labor and Capital;" "The Downfall of Liberty;" "The Labor Problem; its Evils and their Remedy;" "Corruption in Politics" "The Labor Problem and its Dangers-" "AreweaFree People;" "The Labor Problem a National Menace." The penis that beset our path you have shownus; but you have also guided us into paths of safety. You have tokl us of "The Only Way to Good Government;" "The Safety of the Republic;" "The Tme Mission of the Labor Reformer, "Reforms in the Ballot;" "The Coming Man;" "The True Ueformer;" "The Hope of Our Country" "The Conservation of Popular Government;" "Labor Reform;" "The Outlook of the Hour;" "Labor Agitation a Blessing;" "OurLegacy forOurChildren;" "What we Owe to Posterity;" and your sistei-s have nobly rushed to the rescuo with assurances that "Night brings out the Stars;" and moreover that "Man is the Arbiter of His Own Destiny;" "Woman's Sphere;" "The Influence of Woman;" "Woman's Duty;" "Woman, the Hope of the World;" and "Spring;" Heaven bless you, my children; you have saved us; Heaven bless you! Come again, nest commencement. A BIT OF SCIENCE. The male wasp, the naturalist tells us.never stings. But so long as ho and bis sister are twins and dress exactly alike this bit of knowledge availeth nothing to the careless man who does not know it is the lady who Ís approaching him, until itbethatshe smiteth him with her bustle. What humanity demands of science in the case of the wasps is tlio invention of some prompter method of distingnishing between Monsieur and Jladamwanle at forty yards. THE LJTTLE ONE. The little tot'ring baby feet, With faltering steps and slov, ■Vith pattering echoes soft aucl sweet Into my heart they go; They also go, in grimy plays, ín muddy pools and dusty Wy, Then through the house in track ful maze They wander to and fro. The baby hands that clasp my neclc With touches dear to me, Are the same hands that smasb an'l wreek The iDkstand foul to see: They pound the mirror with a cañe, They rend the manuscript in twain, Widespread destruction they ordaio In wasteful jubilee. The dreamy, murm'ring baby voice That coos its little tune, That makes my listening heart rejolce Like birds in leafy June, Can wake at midnight dark and still, And all the air with howling fill, That splits the ear with echoes shrill, Like cornets out of tune.


Old News
Ann Arbor Register