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In The Limekiln Club

In The Limekiln Club image
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The wisdom of the club in deciding not to permit any lecturer to enter the hall until he had passed an examination before a committee was apparent when the Hon. Plumbago Josylin, of Huntsville, Ala. , walkeil into Detroit to deliver his lecture on : "Can We Ever be Ferfectly Happy?" The committee submitted him to the f ollowing examination : "When and where was Plato born?" "What brought the downfall of the Roman empire?" "What nation flrst made use of the soupbone as a substituto for turkey?" "Who introduced the game of policy into this country?" "Who was De Soto, and why did he discover the Mississippi river?" "If I have 1,000,000,000 cocoanuts and give a strange darky 205,493 of them, how many do I have lefti" "How long would a body weighing 250 pounds take in falling 1,800 feet?' The list of qnestions embraced thirty-one, and the Hon. Plumbago could not return a correct answer to a single one of them. He grew quite indignant over the examination, claiming that the only two things wbich stood in the way of perfect happiness on earth were green watermelons at fifty cents apieoe and the house fly ; but the committee were firm, and he was told to jog along. "De report of de committee will be accepted an' adopted," observed Brother Gardner, "an' each member of it will also consider hisself formally thanked. Had de Hon. Plumbago been allowed to take dis platform we should hev lost half an hour of our valuable time an' been no wiser. We will now proceed wid de reg'lar purceedin's." The committee on applications reported uilfa vorably on the candidates nained: Judge Exchange Johnson, of Cantón, Ohio, for having been sent to jail for stealing two sheep. He sought to explain tliat he thought the two sheep were simply one pig, but the wool wouldn't wash. Eider Huckleberry Banks, of Toronto, Ont, for false pretenses, he having a wooden leg and being deaf in the right ear. In hunting up the elder's record it was also discovered that he had twenty-one bird shot ia the calf of the other leg, and he refused to explain how they got there. Professor Antimony Jackson, of Grenada, Miss., for several suspicious incidents connected with his career during the past year. One of these incidents was being found in the postoffice at night, where he claimed to have called to inquire for a letter. Another was in having two razor backed hogs penned up under hU cabin, and when the owner of the animáis carne around the professer claimed


Old News
Ann Arbor Register