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Young wives who have old husbands will be glad to know that a New York physician offers to cure snoring for ten dollars; but Dr. Bull's Cougb Syrup will cure sore throats and colds for 25 cents. Fasser-by to gentleman embiaoirg lamppost- '"Shall I nwwt you home, s!r?" lnebriated geatleman- UN (bic), sir ! I f flatter ray-self I have a (hie) strong grasp of the situation, siiT' Acute rheumatism can brt effe;maHy and permanently cured by the use of Hibhard's RheuniWtJO Syrup and Fluiters. Tbc name of Blame's eliest son is E nmous. Thi was the closest the Maine stHtesman could come to Eimunds without offending tne Vermonter. -V 1 Blood Elixir is the only iVCwV'X T Blood Kemedy guaranteed. ït is a positive cure for Ulcera, EruptionsorSyphilitic Poisoning. Itpurifiesthe vhole system, and banishes all Rheumatic and Neuralgio pains. We guarantee it. John Moobe. Druggist. "A gwindle in geali-kuis" is reported froni Canada. Ah, well, there has been Iota of Bweet little swindler.s m sealskiDS about here ihia winter.- Boston Bulletin. Those who believe that nature will work oflf acough or cold should understand that this is doue at Üie expense of the constitution. Each time this weakens the systeui, and we all know that the terminalion oL thi? dangoious practico is a comfcumptive's grave. Don't take the chances, when a üíty cent bottle of Dr. Bigelow's Positive Cure will üRttly and prornptly cure any recent cough, cold or ihroat or lung trouble. Buy the dollarbotüe oí Eberbach & Son, fur ohronic cases or family use. _________- A Michigan farmer wntes ihe lajuhy of Yale: "Whitt are our terms for a year? And does it cost anyliung ex;ra ít oiy son Vk aau 10 learn 10 read aud wnle s well a io iovv a boat?" - Watch 1) al. li ,. Kweel. A young and pretty girl stepped into a shop whe're a young man who bad been enainored ol her but dared not speak, stood bilnnd the eounIer. In onlor tü ïeinain as loug as possibltí, she cheapeued everythiug. At last she said : I believe you thiuk I uu cheating." " Oh.no, said he " tó me you are alwuys fair." " Well,' vnispered the lady, " 1 would not stay so long bar"tiiiiing if you wore not so dear." She did not have 10 cheupen wlieu llie druggist ouly charged her -5 ceuti lor l'onieroy's l'eiroline Foroused Piaster "tor her mother s Kheuinatisin ; she did notgrudite this buiall Bum, for they had lound tlienï a Mire cure. For bale by H. J. Brown, Dist. Al:'., for Ann ai boi The gooi citizin may sympathize with the under doí m tbe üght ; but you cau't foul him wkh tl.e uuder peach in Uie baskei.- Ex. PilCü! Piles! Piles: Dr. Williaui's Indian Pile Omtment is the only sure ciire for Bliüd, Bleediüg or Itohiug Piles ever Disooverad. It never lails to cure o!d clirouio cases oí long standing. Willums Mfg Co.. Clevtlaud, O. lid content to travel as you are able. The oak springs from the acorn, and does not bd-ome a tree at once. The mushroom spnngs up ín a Dight. Bat what ís a mushrooua? Remember, there must be tune 10 grow. The effect of using Hibbard's Rheumatic Syrup is uulike all medicines containing opiates or poisons, it being entirely Iree írom them. It cure by purifyirjp tke blóod. You may take the greatest trouble, and by turning it around ünd joys on theother side. - Talmage. HALE'S HONEY is the best Cough Cure, 25r 30c., $1. GLENN'S SULPHUR SOAP heals and beautiñes, 25c GERMÁN CORN REMOVER kills Corns & Bunions, 25c. HILL'S HAIR & WHISKER DYE- Black & Brown, 60c PIKE'S TOOTHACHE DROPS cure !n 1 Minutó, 25c DEAN'S RHEüMATIC PILIS are a sure cure, 60c It is better to keep children to their duty by a sense of honor and by kindness thac by fear. Bnchlen's Árnica Salve. The best salve in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Fever Sores, Tetter, Chapped Hands, Chillblains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and positively cure Piles, or no pay required. It ia guaranteed to give perfect satistaction, or anoney refunded. Price 25 cents per box. Forsale by Eberbach te Son. Vanity and pride sustain so close an alüance as to be often mistaken for each other. - Gladstone. Mary, I think you had better try Hibbard's Throat and I-ung Balsam Lor your cold, for I hear nolhin bul ihe hightest praise for it. He that disna like fiattery is eitiier less or mair nor man. Gommend me to freens that flatter you, as t is ca'd afore your face, and defend ye ahiat your back - Ettrick Sheperd. I hope I shall always possess firmness and virtue enougb, to maintain, what I coneider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an " honest man." - Geo. Washington. OH! MY HE AD. The pain from Neuralgia and it companion disease Bheumatism is excruciating. Thousands who could be quickly cured are needlessly suffering. Ath-lo-pho-ros will do for others what it did for the following parties: Wffliamsport. Ind., Oct. 8. 1887. ïïaving been affllcted with neuralgia for thepattaireare,andtrrógalmoeteTerthinabat in vmin.I ttnsUj herd of Athloubaros Af ter UkinK ou bottls I f ound it to ba belpinc me. d after teUnc foor bottlei of AÍhlophoM nd one of Pul. I foond Uut I ■■ r ntirelj weU. I thiak the mtilci i lojitlTel a ure cure Ohauhott b. Reddiok. Mt. Cúmel, DL, De. K. 1867. I hare nwd AtMophon in nu f amiljr and Bndittobeth. watert mediom. for jn.nralU in existonc. and narin bad iU fanci faSenedaponmeiortbpatSejIknow bereof I Speak. MM. Jouuk OHILTO. M1F Stnd 6 cents for the teautiftil colored picture, " Moorish Maiden." THEÁTHL0PH0H0S CO. 112 WallSt. M. Y. IMrs. Grnt will write 6erie of reminiicence8 of the Generl for mogsaioe pubHcstioD.