The Old Settler

[Special Correspondence.] Harrisburg, Pa,, Jan. 16.- "Ez I kim by your plantation thls mornin', major," remarked the Squire as the Cid Settler carne !n the tavem. looking solemn and despondent, "I think I noticed that youan' the ol' woman had a leetle company, didn't ir The Old Settler took off his hat and mopped his head with his red bandana. Without any apparent ref erence to the Squire's inquiry, he flnallysaid: "It strikes me pooty squar' atwixt the eyes," said he, "th't thuz some folksawanderin' through this vale o' tears ez gits more th'n their sheer o' tribbylation an' vexation o' sperrit. Yes, a durn sight more th'n was ever ca'c'lated in the beginnin' th't they was tobe cutan' fitted fer. I teil ye 'tain't no fair shake. Wen I see some folks- an' not much 'eount folks, nuther, some on 'em hain't- a swimmin' 'long, b'gosh, day in an' day out, a missin' ev'ry snag th't's stickin' up in the current, an' a keepin' 'way out o' the suck an' back swirl o' ev'ry dod rotted treach'rous eddy, an' a floatin' like a bobber on a fish line over the places whar th' hain't nn nd o' durn reskv bars, an' a slippin' slick an' safe through shallers whar the rocks can't hardly hide their slimy ol' heads ; w'en I sce sech folks a-swimmin' 'long likethat, an then seo a passel o' the bes' kin' o' fellere- fellere, b'gosh, ez never de je nothin' to no body ez wa'n't 'cordin' to the law an' the prophits- w'en I seen them fellere a gittin' carried agin ev'ry snag th' is in the stream, an' washed fust onter this rock an' then plumb onter that bar, an' swished an' swashed hither an' yon by ev'ry or'nary flood th't comes b'ilin' along, 'til they'd take it ez a mercy if they could be swallowedup an' done with it, I teil ye, boys, w'en I see this I can't fetch myself to b'lieve th't things is mannyfactur'd quite on the squar', an' it raakes me f eel jest ez if I wanted to lay right down an' chaw gravel, an' sw'ar the sap outen a side hill plowl I don't wanter go flyin' in the face o' the good ol' orthydox doctern I was borned an' riz in, but I'll be gum swizzled if I hain't a tèllin' ye th't jurisprudenco orsumpin' is wrong! The perp'ndic'lar hain't straight, an' thuz an everlastin' screw loese some'rs, b'gosh, an' ye kin teil 'em I said so!" The way in whieh the Old Settler whacked his cane on the floor emphasized the fact that his despondency was gone and that his dander was up. "W'at's gone wrong, major?" asked tbe Squire. ''Has somebody's chickens ben ])layin' bot wi' yer garden ' "Boys," continued the Old Settler, ignoring the Squire's inquiry, "I'm nigh onto seventy year oP. IL I live to see nex' Thanksgivin', an' it comes on the right day o' the month, Pil be sixty-nine. I kin reekomemlier back fer sixty year, 'thout a skip or a break, an' in all that time I can't reckomember a day th't I didn't hato a yaller dog. Fer sixty year yaller dogs has ben gall and wormwood to me. An' yet, so fur ez I know, th' haint a single yaller dog never laid a straw in my way. But I was allus p'ison agin 'em, an' I s'pose it was borned in me, same ez the azmy. But un'erstan', boys, w'en I say yaller dogs I don't mean houn's. Some folks mowt say th't houn's is yaller, but they haint. They'm buckskin color, houu's is, an' their hides is slick an' glossy, an' their eyes is bright, an' their voice is music, an' they know more in a minute, b'gosh, th'n any consarned man that'll own a giniwine yaller dog kin lam in a month o' Sundaysl "But talkin' o' houn's, boys, eosht'lmighty ! Don't it earry me back nor nothin' to the days w'en 'twas wuth w'ile a liviu'ï Fifty yearago! Then th' was deer ! Then y e k'd sen' yer dogs out on the ridges an' hear 'em sing! I kin see myself now, on some bracin' frosty mornin', standin' on theol' Burnt Ches'nut run-'way, clutchin' my flintlock, an' waitin' fer Muse to sen' a deer to me. Muse was a houn' o' mine, an' the race o' houn's died out w'en he was gethered to his fathers. He had a voice ez clear ez a bugle, an' jist ez sweet, an' to hear it a swellin' up from back on the ridge was soothin'er to me th'n balm o' Gilyud. The louder an' clearer them notes o' his'n riz, the nigher I know'd th't Mr. Deer was swingin' 'long to'ards me, an' the sooner ol' flintlock 'd jine the chorus. Ib"lieveth't Noar's ark wouldn't ha' hel' all the deer ez that dog sent to me in his day an gmeration, aiv 11 i ra near uis uugie uicaiv over the ridge wunst more, an' k'd stan' agln on the Burnt Ches'nut run-'way with my ol' flintlock ready fer the deer w'en it kim a rearin' an' a tearin' at me through the brush, jist ez I did flfty year ago, w'y, durn it, boys, I'd be willin' to go hum the very nex' minute, bid the ol" v.oman good-by, an' turn my toes to the sun !"' "So ye see, boys, I didnt mean houn's w'en I mentioned yaller dogs. I was speakin' o' dogs the color o' dirty puukins, with long hair, an' their tails 'twixt their legs, ez if th y was afeerd ev'ry minute th't somo body was gointer tie a tin kittle to 'em. Them'á the dogs I mean, an' if th' was ever anything nex' to them th't I wastee totally down on it was sleepin' more'n two in a bed. "Wen I lef my hum in the Sugar Swamp deestric' to hoe my own row an' hew out a fortun', I were 10 year ol'. My poor ol' pap 'prenticed meto a tanner down in Jersey. The very fust night I was thar my boss sent me to sleep with three other 'prentices in a bed 'bout ez wide ez my ol' woman's marygol' bed, au' a tbree-year-ol young un kin straaale wat, easy. I say s to the tanner, I says : " TU go bunk in with the calf ,' says I ; 'or ni go halres with the dog in his coop,' says I; 'or I'll take a piece o' the barn floor,' saya I; 'or I'll hang up with the hams in the smoke house,' says I, 'but I'm gummed,' says , 'if I'll sleep four in a bed,' says I. "Wall, the boss he reckoned th't I would, n' I reckoned, b'gosh, that I wouldn't ; an' w'ile he went to git a strap to give me ray ust lesson in tannin', I cut íer the woods, whar I feit at hum to wunst, an' slep' in a loller log ez snug ez a b'ar's cub. An' I said hen, an' I've stuck to it ever sence, th't hings'd hef to be goin' pooty darn tougb with me w'en I bunked in with more'n one. An' so I've swum along through life, boys, f or nigh onter sixty-nine year, steerin' clear o' yaller dogs, an' never havin' been brung face to face with the d'lemmy ez to w'ich I was jointer do or sleep four in a bed, until Here the Old Settler paused abruptly and rose to his f eet. He got red in the face and liandled his cañe nervously for a moment. Then he turned to the Squire and fairly howled: "Yes, sir; b'gosht'l mighty l You did sce comp'ny to my house, Squire 1 Thuz eorap'ny tharl Job Streeter, my wife's brother, ia tharl Mag Streeter, his wifeisthar! An' se ven young uns o1 theirs, they'm tharl An' they've brought the or'nariest o1 all or'nary yaller dogs with 'em. An' he's thar, an' not only thar, but runnin' the huil dui-n plantatlonl An'tostow 'email away, I've either got to sleep with my ol' woman an1 two o' the young uns. or take to the bai-n with the cowl Sixty-ntae year ol', b'gosh, an' havin' to skin outen my own house f er four in a bed an' a yaller dog at lastl I teil ye, boys, th't this vale o' tears hain't big enough to hold all the tribbylations th't some folks has got tobearr And the Old Settler laid ten cents on the bar, and bef ore he could stop had poured twenty-five cents' worth of consolation in kis glass, his haud trembled so.