Advice For Thanksgiving

Don't spoil the day by finding fault. Anybody who is surly on a holiday deserves to be sentenced to six months' penal servitude. Don't growl because you don't get the second joint. Don't be a hog and take all the white meat. The dark is considered better by many good j udges. Give tlie young ones all the gravy they want, and let them daub themselves with cranberry sauce to their stoniach's content, lts anti-bilions. Explain to them that the anatomical structure of the turkey makes it impossible for you to supply them all with "wish bones." If the youthful people of the family howl in the silent midnight watches do not paint the air blue. Remember that you were a boy once and used to overfeed. Remember, too, that Thanksgiving only comes once a year, although the juvenile vote would undoubtedly be solid for having it come twice a week. Be copious of pie to your guests, sparing to yourself. Pie is healthiest when eaten by proxy. Do not teil your wife about the plum pudding your Aunt Samanthy used to make in Wayback when you were a boy. Even on holidays women are women. Praise it whether you eat it or not. Qive her a doublé share of the plums. And may you all live to eat Thanksgiving turkey many years in snccession, and may your feast be followed by no pangs of inditrestion.