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Parent Issue
Day
23
Month
January
Year
1890
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

If tongues were all attached to brains, llow thankful we should be ! If "hogs" were barred (rom railway trains, How thankful we should be! lf fads and foibles were tabooed, If gum were not by ladies chewed, lf death would kludly steal the dude, llow thankful we Bhould be ! -Chicago Herald. If oats would only sleep at night, How thankful we should be ! If money would not get so tight, How thankful we should be ! Ifwomen would not talk. forsooth, If ladies' hats were lesa uncouth, lf weather clerks would teil the truth, How thankful we uhould be ! - Yonkera Statesman. If fiahermen would stick to facts, llow thankful we hould be ! If men would sit between the acts, How thankful we should be ! I f girls In front their hats would doff , 1 f tölks would stop at home who cough, If empty funs would not go off, How thankful we should be! -Boston Courier. If drink men's grief would really drown, How thankful we should be! If, on the floor. tacks feil point down, How thankful we should be I I f bables would not cry at night, lf poliiicians would do right, If men would pay their debts at sight, How thaukful we should be! - Lawrence American. If railwuy trains were never late, How thankful we should be ! If horse-cars never made us wait, llow thankful we should be ! If hens would scratch away from home, If dogs would bark when burglars roam, lf beer was never two-thirds foam, How thankful we should be ! -Boston Transcript. If boarding houses were all right, How thankiul we should be ! If ea would give a decent light, How thankiul we should be '. Il salary day were twice a week, If plumbers could butstop the leak, lf we might tind all thiugs we seek, How thankful we Bhould be ! - Chi'EKO Mail. I f tiemble made us happy feel. IIow tnaukful weshould be! If high officials would not steal, How thankful we should be ! If villams would '-gtt off the earth," If lile was but a round of mirlh, If labor gained all it was wotth. JIow thankful we should be! -Chicago Cnoket. I f every erop would bring the cash, How thankful we would be ' Ifailthe "trusts" would go to smash, 1 low joyful we would be ! Iffrosts kept off when flowers blow, I f bugs and molhs were made to go, I f weeds would u'ait till asked to grow How blissfui we would be ! -Prairie Farmer. If the "la grippe" would quit us now, IIow thankful we should be ! If McGlnty would make his bow, How thankful we should be ! If the world's fair was sure to show I q the "big town" of Chicago If we had "chips" so we could go, IIow happy we should be.

Article

Subjects
Old News
Ann Arbor Register