The Danbury News Man

Bailey - James Montgomery Bai'ey was his full name. Ho was born in Albany, N. Y., in 1941, fought throut;h the war n a Connecticut regin.ei.t, and afterward made himself fumous writing for the ,anbury Xews. Mr. Bailey's wit has a delicioug mental ilavor. In fact. it is always the shrewd, thoughtful mau that enjoys iu Jt is not in long. inane dialogues, but a flash of thought The huiiiorist says a poor man oame to him with tears in his eyes one day, askinjr for help for his destitute and starving eb. 1 dren. "What do you need most?" asked Mr. Bailey. "Well, we need bread, but if I can"t havo that l'll take tobáceo." One day a sole.nn and religious Danbavy man hailed a charcoal pedler with the query: "Have you got charcoal in your wagon?" ■Yes, sir," said the expectant driver, stopping h9 horses. 'That' 8 right, " observed the religious man with an approving nod, "always teil the truth and people will respect you. " And then he closed the door just in time to escape a brick hurled by the wlcked peddler. One day I asked Mr. Bailey if they had lazy men in Connecticut. "Lay men!" he exclaimed, "why we have a man in Danbury so lazy that instead of shoveling a path to the front Late he pinches tho baby's ear with the nippers till the neighbors come rushing in to tread down the snovr. " Mr. McMasters was buying a home of Mr. Bailey, and askad him if the house was cold in winter. "Cold!'" said Mr. Bailey, cautiously. "I can't say as to that; it stands outdoors. " Speaking of the Indian raids, says Bailey: "The Modoes have made another raid on our people and murdered them. If ever our g-overnment gets hold of these savages.gets them right where they cannot escape, geta them wholly into its clutchos, soino contractor will make monoy. " Mr. Bailey's humor also consists in truthful descriptions of dotaestic life. His descriptions aro so true that they are absolutely photographed on the mind of the reader. One can close his eyes and seo with his mind's eye the very scènes depioted. - Twenty Years of Wit and Humor.