The Major's Accident Policy

"I am not feeling very well today," said Major Hostleman, the Southern sporting man, as he leaned wearily against the marble rail of a Park Row cafe, says N. Y. World. "I'm in need of a tonic and have been for the past . two days, and it's all my own blanked fault. Up to a week ago I was happy, free and light-hearted, money was at flood tide, friends numerous and New York immense, and I liked your whiskey during the week, but on Sundays enjoyed that of Long Branch or Manhattan better. "What has changed this?" continued the Major, as he reached for his tonic. "Well the story is simple enough. I met a fellow, good-looking, brighttalking chap, who made a great impression on me and we became flrm friends. One day he carne to my hotel, and wore one of thoae worried faces that make you think of a hired mourner. We had been scorching a bit together up the Boulevard the night before and I took a little tum'ole, just a slip that didn't count, but he brought that f act up again, and with his sympathetic face and teary voice began talking about the jeopardy to my life and all that rot. Well I swallowed the bait, hook, line and sinker and when he showed me an accident insurance poiicy I just feil into the trap. He had a friend who would see that I got insured against injury at low rates. The long and short of it was that Í took out a policy for $10,000 and feit good about it until the policy came home. There was, a polite note inclosed asking me to carefully read all the printed matter on the policy, and that is what makes me so glum. There is an exception taken and a provisión made against paying for an injury that occurs in the course of an active life. I can't go to prize-fights, I can't smoke or drink, play cards or ride a bike, travel on cable or trolley cars, hunt or fish, or even walk without a guardián if I want to win on that game. Life has become a nightmare; a hideous, mocking sense of responsibility to the stockholuers of that insurance company welghts me down." Why don't you forfeit the policy, Major?" queried one of the listeners. "Forfeit nothing!" was the reply. 'Tve paid for six months of that poiicy, cash in advance, and don't propose to let any Yankee csat me if I know it; but when that time is up - say, boys, you'll all be around, won't you?" And the Major walked away like a man who wa treading on broken glass.