The first time I realized that I was insecure was when I fit myself into those new shoes just because everyone else had them

How I missed that soft padding of my simple gray old shoes 

Coming back with blisters on my feet that day.

 

It’s my insecurities that drag me down.

Making me go through a nervous breakdown.

I felt myself plummet thousands of miles to the ground like a hot air balloon without air. 

Always trying to compare, beware the girls with the great hair. 

 

The second day I realized that I was insecure 

Was when I spent three hours trying on different skirts and shirts that just made me squirm.

Yet I kept trying since I cared so much I had to look great

That rumor was going to spread around at a fast rate, determining my fate.

 

The third day I realized that I was insecure

Was when I only felt accomplished when I was given praise. 

Whether I was writing essays or running relays. 

I always needed someone else to brighten my days. 

 

‘Cause nowadays I am starting to realize my low self-esteem. 

Why can’t my reality become more than a dream

This obsession to be perfect has just become extreme

How can she do that? How come I can’t? 

She is so perfect and I’m not. 

Your so ugly nobody would ever think your lovely. 

How come she is so lucky? 

With her perfect hair and shoes? As she worshipped like a god?

Like a queen, she’s just that perfect tween

 

Why do I care what they see in me?

 

But I can’t breathe when they walk by

I feel my temperature rising high

I don’t want to let them see me cry

 

I’m weak

I’m the freak

I’m the geek

I’m the girl who when somebody walks by they shriek!

 

But I can’t stand it anymore

My words have been banned 

I’m done listening to commands

I have never had a say

Always being pulled away

 

Then I learned how to speak because so many times I have been silenced. 

Silenced when I saw these group of kids cheating on a test but I didn’t say anything because I knew they would hate me. 

SIlenced when my friend just crossed the line and said things that aggravated me so much but I didn’t say a thing. 

Silenced when in first grade for half the year I did another’s girl homework but I didn’t say a thing. 

Silenced so much I forgot how to speak and it is as if the words are draining out of me. 

 

Because I am gifted a voice to speak.

I believe that people should not be defined by their looks

I believe that inequality is out of control. 

I believe that some of the things that are trendy are just crazy. 

And now I realize there is so much to say. 

 

With all this pressure as a person with social media and peers, it has become difficult for one to feel confident in herself. 

Because it is my insecurities that keep me away from all the possibilities. 

Honestly, I don’t care anymore if it is trendy. 

So if those shoes are the newest thing around I will stick to my plain gray shoes that my feet love snuggling into. 

I will no longer be silenced because I have finally learned to speak for what I truly believed.