In the pit of my stomach, I can feel her, her gentle touch, her voice saturated in contentment, her sonorous and contagious laugh, and the way she’d rub her temples lightly with refined concentration. Maybe this was all a silly hoax. Waves of solitude crash into me as I rock back and forth conversing over and over again; it’s not true, you know it’s all a lie.
My eyes burned from my despondent tears. My numb throat caused by my wheezy cough. How could you leave? How dare you make me live without you. My pain seething with every thought. The crease between my eyebrows there to stay. My ferocious feelings boil within me – a smoldering volcano about to blow.
The sickening guilt travels through my body at speeds I can’t comprehend. The feeling that I could’ve affected this outcome indisputably. My feeble voice sniffling as I disappear. Away from the tearless wonder I once was; it should’ve been me...
Letting my mind fog over, I float above a pool of dread. The lethal woefulness I’m swimming upon gaining on my usual gaiety. There my body lay, sinking away from the sorrowful light the world gazes upon me. I’ve given up on myself. And this is how it would be.
I miss your gentle touch, your voice saturated in contentment, your sonorous and contagious laugh, and the way you’d rub your temples lightly with refined concentration. But I’m now treading water and I know this is not a hoax, but the truth. I will miss you endlessly. But I’m not going to take my life how you took yours.