Michigan State News

Tuscola county grangers have put their heads together and resolved to buy their goods oL the man who wül supply 'em on a basis of a 1Ü per cent profit. But they haven't yet found the man who is built that way. A little Hudson girl, 5 years of age, was flatteued out by a log rolling over her, but wül soon be as lively as a cricket again. The lady clerks of Battle Creek have interviewed their eruployers regarding elosing at 6 o'clock, and the winsome dears won their point. J. H. Pembroke, the Battle Creek man who is supposed to have played fast and loose with the f unds of the Pembroke Knitting milis, has been brought back from New York for trial in the Calhoun circuit court. Tbe Albion coal mines have been re-opened, giving employment to 100 men. Nashville village autborities have issued an edict against the game of pedro. But a local observer claims that the Jack bobs up serenely nevertbeless. A Detroit man, who is mighty particular about the 'lasses he eats, annually taps a sugar bush of 600 trees up in Sanilac county to make sure of its being of proper complexion. A Battle Creek man inflieted a slight wound on the back of his hand by striking a horse's mouth, and is now an intense sufferer from a well developed case of glanders. A Gorham man has had printed what he knows about the hog, the extent of which may be measured from the tact that it took a 100-page book to hold it. The Richland, Kalamazoo coiuity, seminary has been burned. 'Twas built in 1856 iuid cost $25,000. A Schoolcraft man named Knight raised $20,000 worth of onions last year just over the line in Indiana. Cyclones never tackle the high-toned breath of that section. Detroit's city treasury wül receive fully $200,000 in liquor taxes this year. Grand Rapids milkmen have organized a trust. Just how this may affect the windmill branch of the business is not stated. Notwithstanding the law that grog shall not be sold with in one niile of the state soldiers' home at Grand Rapids, occasionally an old vet will get gloriously hilarious. Some two or three months ago the Gale plow works, located at Albion, announced that their business had outgrown their present plant, and that if proper inducements were offered their factory would lócate in some other place. Then the scramble began, and a score of Michigan towns vied with each other to see who could make up the biggestpile of "boodle." When this part of the programme was complete Albion people stepped in, voted $30,000 to keep her own cake, and ended the circus. And all Albion is happy. Port Hurón has lots of money in circulation just now, but too much of it is counterfeit to make 'em real happy. A couple of Mecasta boys, 11 and 12 years of age, played war with an old revolver. The eldest Is now trying to digest the bullet that was lodged in his stomach. Burglars blew up the railway safe at Memphis on Saturday night, securing $34 in change, but they failed to capture the $1,000 that the ageut carried home in his pantaloons pocket. Colin Campbell, who claimed to be a pension agent vvhen he wasn't, will now go into Únele Saras service for sure. The United States court at Grand Rapids has issued his commission to spend three months behind the bars. A Charlevoix lisherman has thirty miles of nets planted in Lake Michigan that are yielding an abundant erop of brain food. While crossing Rum creek on a log, a Rockford farmer slipped off and drank to his death. A three-story grist-mill, to be carted around on wheels and exhibited at industrial expositions, is the way that the Smith Purifier works at Jackson propose to advertise this year. The model will cost $10,000. A Menominee man, who was a candidate for aldermanic honors, was suddenly taken sick, but steadily refused to take medicine, for the simple reason that his f amily pbysician was a candidate on the opposition ticket. South Linden folks rather suspected that the title to their real estáte isn't worth the paper upon which it is written. Some fellow made a great mistake in conveying, in the heretofore. Some fellow loaded a stick of wood with gunpowder and placed it in the woodpile of Phillip Harter, of Menominee. And Phillip will give a $50 noto for a good square look at the fellow who perpetrated th measly trick. St. Ignace has voted $50,000 for a new system of waterworks, and Kalamazoo county will indulge in a new poorhouse at a cost of $25,000. East Saginaw is to have a dairy maid's convention, and her people are dusting their Sunday go-tomeeting clothes for the occasion. Lansing has a curiosity in the shape of a man who Sometimes gets itlong for weeks at a time with narry a wink of sleep. He probably doesn't propose to be caught napping. Kalaina.oo's city council have let the contract to span tbe river at that place with a fine iron bridge, despite the vigorous kicks of the wealthy nubobs of the towu against the project. While the remains of a Jackson county man were being prepared for burial the attendants were just a bit surprised by a voice that informed 'em that a postponement of the exereises would be agreeable to himself if the balance of the folks were stüted. And tbey were The Clinton man who was elected supervisor on the Republican ticket didn't carry off all the honors of the f amily, for the Democrats nominated his wife for school inspector, and elected her, too. Mrs. Avis Jones, a Sherwood lady, won't be compclled to wash dishes when she gets the $10,000,000 estáte in Scotland, to which she is heil-, The number of ladies elected to fill the position of school inspector on town meeting day indicates that this is an age of women's i'ights, and that the good girls ara rapidly coming to the front. Henry Little, a Kalamazoo citizen, cast his (irst ballot stwenty yeurs ago, and still remembers bow to do a good job of voting. Hart's flouring milis at North Lniisiug have been reduced to ashes. A leaky barrel of kerosene, loi ilati oear a warm stove, did the business. Cadilac folks have at last got a squint at the bare eailh, after a four months' siege of deep sium Kalamazoo Congregationaliste are cogitating upon the iden ol a 130,000 church. Times have cbanged since onr l'athers worshipped in the cabin. Mrs. Peter Burke, a widow residing at Nor way. kis sant and killed by Pat Wade, because she inter.ded to marry a man whoiu Wade didut like. AportHuron wife took advantage of her husband's piolonged absence to procure a divorce, but his unexpeeted return spoiled the programme dbmpletely. Then she attempted to transplant him with a revolver, and now boards at the bastile for the unladylike act. In many places northern Michigan people are being interviewed by lean, lank wolves with a spring appetite. A Cheboygan and Rogers City mail-carrier was followed recently by 'eni for three miles, but declined to make 'em a meal at his own expense. Governor Luce has designated Friday, April 20, as the proper time for tree planting. His proclamation is a flowery document, and ought to make the planted trees blossom early. A' party of Atlanta young folks took a sleigh ride to Gaylord, a short time since, where a passing train startled one of the load- a young lady- into a dead faint. She had never seen a raüway train before. Nearly 6,000 tons of copper were turned out by upper peninsular mines in the month of March, but the price doesn't come down a bit. A Piconning citizen, while Crossing a eattle guard near tbat town, stepped therein and was firmly held until a passing train released him by severing both legs. He may recover. The Cedar Springs girl who presented her lover with a fancy pen-wipor of her own make, was greatly sui-prised on attending church the next Sunday to seo him wearing it for a neck-tie. The fellow who doesn't know the difference between the two would make a good candidate for membership in a literary club. The Chicago & Northwestorn Railroad company is putting 6,000,000 feet of timber into two great iron-ore and lumber docks at Escanaba. The Wakefield gold discoveries are attracting much attention, and a syndicate of Chicago capitalista is being formed to work 'em. A Detroit medicine man took 200 from Caro citizens iu one day in exchange for a nostrum that may have cost as many cents. Barnum was not badly off in his estímate of the people's desire to be humbugged. One Blissfleld man charged another of robbing him, and then concluded that he was mistaken and paid the accused $25 to make it all right. Not long afterward, however, he repeated the story, but again repented at a cost of 35 more. The story teller is now considering the advisability of athird trial. A Galbleville parson named Walker, preached an average of four sermons per week last year, ofBciated at fifteen funeral solemnized five marriages. The eider won't object to ha ving the marriages largely increased this season, as he can flnd plenty of time for that work at $5 per splice. A Dewitt vendor of hard beverageshas been taxed 100 for keeping open shop on legal a boliday. A Vau Buren county man has solved the hired-girl conundrum. Instead of scouring the country for kitchen help, he turned his attention to the beau part of the business and with such success that every domestic employed has secured a husband inside of six months. The result is that that family is not only never without a girl, but that a large list of applioations for the position is always on file. Kalkaska business men kick against a Grand Rapids paper, because In an account given of that burg, it didn't claim it to be the rising giant of the northland. Small villages are often built that way. Monroe county had a haü storm that pelted a. poor horse to death, one day last week. It tnay be proper to add that the horse wasn't in good health to begin with. The state board of corrections and charities are of the opinión that Kalamazoo can bear off the palm for having the filthiest jail in all Michigan. Detroit's calaboose also comes in for a full share of critiuism. A "Spiketail club" is one of the features of Howell society. The aims and intent of the organization are not stated, but the supposition that it's to nail the "whoppers" that sail that way, is a reasonable one. The Jackson Wagon company will put up 300 wagons, especially designed for the use of Indiaiis. Uncle Sam foots the bill.