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Campaign Crumbs

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Parent Issue
Day
26
Month
October
Year
1888
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

During the campaign of 1884, in a city not forty miles avvay from this, a goodly number of ladies had gathered for an anemoon of social converse in the hospitable parlors of the wife of aivell known business man and sometime prominent politician (ot the old republican regime, though then disinclined to vote for the magnetic man from Maine - of late dubbed, "the uncrowned king.") Naturally the pending issues ofthe campaign were canvassed, and not a few expressed fears ot a terrible national upheaval in the event of Cleveland's election, and thought that nothing but the success of Blaine would save the country from the dogs, or the rebels. At hearing the name of Blaine the youngster of the family - a bright and wide awake boy of four or five years - was moved to excla.m, regardless ofthe sensitiveness of lis mother's prematurely frightened guests: "I don't like Jim Blaine, Jim Blainelies,hedoes." Iftheyoung Jackson mugwump has nis "ears to the ground" in the pending campaign, or has read the declaration of Blaine that 110 republican secretary of the treasury had ever deposited the nation's moneys in national banks, and that Secretary Fairchild had rendered hitnself Hable to impeachment by making such deposits, he will be excusable for repeating in emphatic tones, "Jim Blaine lies, he does." A few evenings ago, out in the town of Pittsfield, a republican speaker, hailing from Ann Arbor, waxed eloquent in his discussion of the burning issues of the campaign, and in his smoothest, most impressive, and most persuasive tones, assured his constituents that "our infants must be protected in their industries." Just what his infants are supposedtobe engaged in, or why the pcople should be taxed for their protection, we are not advised that John then and there disclosed. It they really ate flesh and blood infants, he ought to appeal to the senate to restore fresh tnilk to the free list, where it was placed by the Mills bill, and if said infauts are numerous, the reduced duties on woolen goods imposed by the Mills bill ought to procure John's hearty indorsement of that measure. And then as the industries ofsmall infants include playing with dolls, 'picturebooks, and toys, and of the larger nnps in fll-tendinsr school, the tuxes imposed by other tariff schedules might weü be reduced. JBut if the ''iifants plead for are of the antiquated ►ype that Adam and Eve introduced .nto the Garden of Eden,- the manufacture of clothing; that Abel, their second son, follovved when he tended his flocks; or even later, Aoraham, of whom it is recorded "he set seven ewe lambs by themselves;" or Tubal-Cain, the son of Lamech the Cainite, original "bti'rnisher of every cutting instrument of copper and iron" and the putative father of all workers in metáis, they ought to have passed their creeping period long ere this and be able to go it alone. Even Henry Clay, sometimos called the "father of the American System" - not an American system at all, but borrowed f rom China and somewhat younger European nations didn'thave the cheek to ask protection for these old nfants of his day to exceed 20 per eent. The public teat ought to be withdrawn from such a gray-haired and venerable brood of infants. The columns of the Register being the witness, one J. Q. A. Sessions, ofthis city, has seen a ghost, the combined ghost of "about 90 (living) of the ex-members of Jeff Davis' cabinet and of the confedérate congress and generáis of the late confedérate army." The ghost is a member of the present congress, and during the session just closed sought to restore the "lost cause " by the passage of the Mills bill, which puts lumber, salt, wool and vegetables - "sixteen agricultural agricultural producís ot the northern states" - on the free list. The ghost so rattled the usually calm, cool, collected and logical Sessions that he sees the Texas wool-grower shearing his sheep thrice a year and therefore able and willing to sacrifice the duty on wool to spite the woolgrower of Michigan, Wisconsin, and Illinois. What productive sheep and what vindictive shepherds! And lumber: Sessions must forget that the south has greater forests to-day than the north, and that in the near future the Chicago and Detroit and St. Louis lumber dealers must draw their supplies from North Carolina, ïennessee, Georgia, Mississippi, Lousiana, etc. But then, Sessions probably harbors the idea that Alger, McMillan, Stockbridge, Torn Palmer & Co. - that famous Grand Rapids syndicate included- having bought up the southern forests, the shrevvd and calculatins; southerners, whose combined ghost has given him the dyspepsia or the shakes have no longer any interest in the lumber tariff, and have gleefully sought to bmd the northern pine brigade on the altar of sacrifice. And he also forgets that factories are springing into life all through the south, or else sees ín this raid on the tariff by that confedérate ghost, another scheme to rob the ists who are opening southern mines and building up southern manufacturing ciiies. VVhtt a vicious ghost! Surely our republican liiends who can't sleep peaccfully o'nights for fear of a rebel invasión or a confedérate rape of the statute books are objects of pity. The combined ghost of our departid physicians ought to hover around their beds and administer liberal sedative doses.

Article

Subjects
Ann Arbor Argus
Old News