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He Never Tells

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If there is one man in all the world with whom we would trust a weighty secret, that man is Carlton of the Grass Lake News. He never betrays a friend - perish the thought: In his issue of last Saturday, he says: The Ann Arbor Argus struts around and does a good deal of fine cut and natural bragging over the erudition of Bob Shannon, the foreman of that paper. It calis him "a kind of walking dictionary," and he'll "catch on to all the late fads in the divisiĆ³n of syllables" in Websters new International and brandishes other qualities peculiarly Bobonian in the face of the public. The stark naked truth is, Bob is a whole-souled, bang up good printer, always writes his name with his head on one side so that the smoke from his pipe won't shut out pen and paper, and likes everybody and everybody likes him. But this talk about his knowing so much is all bosh. The last time we were in the Argus office Beakes, the editor and Bob had it right and left over the word "Jehoshaphat." The "old man" said it was spelled "Jehossifat," as all scholars were aware, but Bob stuck to "Jehorsiphat," and held that the word was an Ypsilantic barbarism corrupted from either Choctaw or Sighux, and he did n't care a blank which. Af ter we got them apart by throwing a pail of cold water on them, we architectured the word's anatomy in good form, whereat the boys set up the watermelon on our promise to never make the little slip public. We never have, we never will. We speak of it now in strict confidence to our readers who are enjoined to not mention it on any account whatever.