Press enter after choosing selection

How We Suffer

How We Suffer image
Parent Issue
Public Domain
OCR Text

I never read of a railroad or steamboat disaster without secretly hoping that Theman -who - wants -to - know-youknow is numbered in the victima. I don't say anything against a pcrson storing his mind with knowledge, but what I object to is the way that knowledge is sometimes Qred off at a man who is lame and can't make his escape. For instance, our train going east was flagged at midnight and held for an hour because of a wreek on the road. Everybody in the sleeping car awoke, and most Df the people got up and dressed, although t would have been common sense to turn )ver and go to sleep again. One of the passengers was a large, portly man, who had fornierly driven hogs to market. By the exercise of economy, perseverance, virtue, tendernees and a dozen or so other attributes he had climbed up until he owned a ilaughter house and bought the hogs rhich others drove. This was not only a ;ood drive on Mm, but he was legally en.itlrd to feel proud of it. He had just finshed telling a crowd of passengere in a ioud voice that he was figuring to buy that ailroad and change the management tfhen The-inan-who-wants-to-know-youmow sxiddenly interrupted him with: "Excuse me, my friend, but can I askyou l question?" "Certainly. sir," was the courteousreply. "I was talking with a chap in the depot at Buflalo, and we couldn't exactly agree about Mohammed, the Arab. He was, as you know, originally called Halabi, and was born about the year 570. What we iiffered about was hisbirthplace; as I have it, it was Mecca; as he had it, it was Syria. What is your opinión?" The man who had climbed up the ladder fc lifeby virtue of his own integrity turned pale, looked helplessly around, and finally 3unk down a crushod and helplcss victim, and he didu't even look up when an old farmer remarked to his wife: "Good 'nuff for him. If a feller hain't studied algebra and geography what's the use of his puttin' on so much style." Again, there was a party of us on the promenade deck of a Hudson riversteamer. The prominent oneof the crowd was a palefaced, weak eyed young man who had been all over Europe, and who had attended college lougeuough to learn everything worth knowing. He talked very glibly of the Stone Age, the Drift Period and all that, and as he carne along to the Palisades he observed that: "The true igneous rocks belong either to the trappeau or volcanic divisions, while the mass you see before you is composed, to a very large extent, of stratiüed metamorphic rocks." [ looked around to see if The-man-whowants-to - know - you - know was present. He was. He sat with his chair tipped back and his feet on the rail. His suit was a very loud check, and he had the general bearing of a man who trades in horses and buys sheepskius of farmers. He listened with great interest, and when the young man had finished he squared his chair around and said: "Professor, you are right; you have hit the buli's eye; you know it all." "Awl" replied the young man. "I'm glad to have met you, because those things have bothered me, and because I want to ask you a questiou." "Aw - proceed." "You have heard of Scipio, of eourse." "Aw!" "Killed, you know, in the year 187 B. C. ?" "Awl" "Of eourse you have heard of Basil, surnamed the Great? Greek, you know, and born in the year 329 in Cappadocia. Pretty good fellow, I guess, but wouldn't bet on it." "Awl What is your question, sah?" "I was getting to it. Suppose you owned a horse?" "Aw!" "No matter about the color or sex. You are awoke at night by his stamping in the stable." "Aw!" "You go out and find him very ill. Now, sir, can you teil me how to inform myself whether he is suffering with a calcareous carbonate of soluble obliquity or is attacked with a herbiverous transition of interRtrat.ified fi halatinriK?" The young man rose up, looked around him to take a last farewell of earth, and then plunged over the rail iuto the river. The steamer was stopped s-jmI every efïort made to rescue him, but he i?ií uot want to be rescued. He wanted to s-'i down on the bottora of the Hudson and hav a, good