Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures: Mr. Caudle Has Ventured A Re...

uumpm im su re! VVell! 1 wonder what it wil! be noxt! There's nothpg proper, - noihingat all. Be'.ter get somobody else to keep tho house 1 hink. I can 't do it n'o$v, it secir.s; I';r only in the uay herc: l'd bet'er take the ehildren, and ga .v i&áv -vea. "What atn I grumbling about noiv? - I'm sure Vá belter be out of liie world than - -ihcre now. Mr, Caudle; there yon are ngai.n!' I shall. speak, sir. It isn'l ofu-n I open my mouth, heaven knows! pul yon Hke to henr nobody taik but yourself. Yon ought to l;nvo marriod n negro slave, and not any i-espectable voiTivin. "You're to go.about ihe house looking !!;o thunder al! dny, and I'm not to say a worñ. Where do yon . toink puddings ío come from every dafíi Yon show a nice c.auinle to yonr chi'dru, you do; compiaining, and turning your. nose up ií r, -.wf't picceof cold :nu:!un, bje :,n..,c ibftrs'3 "o pudding! You go a nice way j to mnke 'em extravagant - teacl) 'em nice lesáons to begin the world with. Dd yoj know whnt puddings cosí; ordo you think they come in at the wlndow? ''Yon hato col'.t muñón. T!e more sliame for you, Mr. Caudle. I'm sure you've the síumich of n lord, you liavc. No, sir; I didnrt choose to hasjj) tlio rnui!oii. Ii's very easy for you lo say hash tj uut know v. hat a jpiüt loses in hashing; ii'.s a day's dinner less. if i''s a bit. Y&?j I daré say; other pcopic may have puddipgs with col.i imitíon. No doubt of il; or.il oíher pcople becorne bankrupts. - I3ut f ever you get nto tlie Gazotte, tsnau i ue my iauu - no; i u go my cunv a a wjfe to you, Mr. Caudle: you shall er have it to say that it was ;ny housokoeping tbat brought you to beggary. - Xo; you may snik at tlio cold nica'.- lia! I hope you'il neder livo to want such a pieceofcold mution as wo have had toriay! And you may ih reaten to go to a tavera todine;but with.our present uk-uis. not a crum of pudding do you get Trom inc. You shali have nothing but the cold joint - nothing as Tin a Christian sinner. "Ycs; lliere you are, throwing thosc fo-.vs in my facu ag.iin! 1 kuovv yon once brought lióme a pair of fowlsj I know it: and wern'l you mean cnci;-h to ! want to stop 'em out of niy wcek's money? Oí, the sclfishness - the shabbiiicss of men! They can go out and tinow away pounds with a pack of pcople who l-uigii at tiiem afin-vards; but ii' it'anytliing wanted fgr ;heir ovyn hornos, their poor wjves may hunt fur it. 1 wonder 'ybu don't blush to name those fowls agaiu.' I wouldn't besa linies for tha world, .Mr. CaudLcï ' hat nrc you going to do?. Going to get i:p? Don't mako. yov.rsolf iu:;culous, Mr. Caurüc: i cnn"t say a woed to you like any ot'uer wii'e, but you m#t thveaten to get uP. Do bo ashai-ed of yourself. 'Puddings, indeed! Do you think Tra rqade of puddings? Didu't you h-ive some boiled rice three weeks ago? i3c'side?, is this tho time of the ear for puddings? Il's all very well if I had money enough allowed me like any otherwoman; now, il's impossible; and it's cruel - yes, Mr. Caudle, cruel - of youtoexpec it. "Apples arn't so dear, nrn't thev? - I know what apples are, Mr. Ca.udlc, without 3'oiir Isüing me. Hut I supposc you want something more tlian npplcs for, rlumplings? I suppose sugnreosts something, doesn't it? And tiiat's how it is. That's howone oxponse brings on another, nnd that's how poo)le go to ruin. "Pancakes! Whai's the u o oí vov.rjlying muttering thercabout pancakes? - Don't you alway have 'ein once a year - every Shrove .Tuesday? And what would any moderate, decent man want more? "Pancakes indeed! Prny, Mr. Caudlc - no, it's r.o use of 'our fine words (o me to let you go to sleep: I shan't! - pray, do you know the price of eggs just now? Thero's iiot nn egg you car. trust to underseven aucl eightn shilling; wejj you'vo only just to reekon up how many eggs- don't Jie swenring títere at tho eggs ín that manner, Mr. Cnudle, nnless youexpect the bed to open under j'oir. You cal! yourself a respectarle tradesman, I supposc! SvëarTng at eggs, indeed! - But I'm tired of this usage, Mr. Caudle; quite tired of it; and I don't care hou1 soon i's civMdl t:I!in..sure I. do nothing but work and Inbor and Úñiik how to make the most of every thing; nnd this is how I'm rewnrded. I should like to sec r.ny body whose joints go further thnn mine Out if I was to throw your money into the street, or loy it out on ifihe feaiKfirs on myself. Í .should he butler tlióught of. Thcw;n,? vho sui-iiod her l-.usbnnd and her family isahvays ïïiade n drucige of. Its your fine fal-lal vive3 who've the best tiiv.p. of it. "Whnt'c tl. e use of yourlving groaningth'crp it; ihat manncr? That von:t make mo Hofcl my longue, I enn tel] vtm. Yon tíjíhk to have it all your own wav - but you wou'í. ?.Ir. Ccdle! You can insult my .inner; look ]ike a demon, I may say, at a wholesorne p!ece of cold multon - ha! the thousands of far better creaturesthnn you arp.who'd been t!iankjul for rtïai mution! - and I'm never to .speak! But you'rc mistaken - I wili! - Your usngoof me. Mr. Caudle, is in famous - unwp'rtliy a man, I only vish people knew you for what you are; but they s'iall snme Jav.'Puddings' And now I suppose I shnll hear.of nothing but puddings! Yes, and I know vhat it would end in. First, you'd havo a pudding evei-y dny; - oh, I know your fixtrnvng-ince - 'hen yon'd go f.T íi,;-, - ílioii Ishould'íi! wondrrif you'd h-'vosmp; ttir;!o, rio 3óu!ÍV: i!:.-n you'd rro WáMj nn.1- oh! I sec it aíl ís plain íís i'ioquih before rno - bul no! nnt wjjijq I l.Fvcí Ú'iíat your second vCq may do, I don't knov; perhaps.s?7 be a ílnc jadv; but yon shnn't be ruined by me, Sïjr. Caudle; thot I'm determined. - Puddings indeed! Pu-dd;ng-s! Pudd- " ''Exháusled nalure." saya Caadle. :tcould ho!d out no Jonger. Here my u'ife went losle?j.r' 'j_L