Apple Seeds

By Basra Keynan

“Take a seat, Kay”, said Dr. Jameson. I sat down and sunk into the sofa. “So, how are you feeling?” I started to pick at my nails. I’ve had a hangnail for a week. “Fine”, I said. “Okay. What’s been happening this week? You’re mom told me you had a lot of exams and even a presentation at school”. The hangnail stung. “Um, yeah. I had to even an oral presentation on German Expansion”. “You didn’t feel anxious or paniced during or after”, he said while scratching notes. I stopped fiddling with my hangnail. I sat on my nail so it wouldn’t sting, but it hurt more. I bite on my lip. “So, do you think that it is getting easier? Speaking in public. You haven’t felt hopeless”. ”No”, I said. Jameson pulled something from behind his chair. It was jar filled with apple seeds. “I know you’ve been skipping school. You know that consuming that many apple seeds leads to cyanide poisoning”. “I’m sorry I lied. I just haven’t felt right since”. I feel tears behind my eyes. “I know. You  don’t need to feel right to get help. Help is here”.  

Two months ago, a letter had arrived at our house. It was addressed to daddy, and it was from the British Air Force. I had bounded down the steps in an excited frenzy, proud to be doing something for daddy as important as delivering a letter from the army.

That night, I heard mommy and daddy cry together in the living room.

A month and twenty days ago, we sent daddy off. That day, mommy was crying again, but daddy wasn’t. He was wearing a green coat that they had sent to him. He looked just like the man in front of him, and just like the behind him. But he was special because he was my daddy. I had given him Geoffrey, and he was holding him tight against his chest. Geoffrey’s brown fur peaked out from the bottom of daddy’s thick arms and I could see Geoffrey’s button eyes staring at me. I marched with daddy all the way to the big, grey boat. But they didn’t let me go any further.

And that was how daddy left. A month and twenty days later, a flag came back, along with a blood-stained teddy bear.

White, as the first beams of light hit my face. Yellow accompanies me as I take my first steps forward - the opening of a wide array of doors. Green helps me blossom on my two bare feet as they touch the patch of cool grass while I run wild through an extensive selection of entrances. Pink with innocence as I blush - my first puppy love sprouts. Orange as my last Halloween where I dressed up as Maleficent. Red embodies my rage and passion caught in a labyrinth of dreams and failed hope. “CLUNK” as several doors close and lock behind me. Purple embraces my flickering flame with ease. Blue like the last trickle of tears. Gray releases the last breath and seals the final door shut. Black as ashes of an extinguished flame. White, again.

    All things come and go. Good, bad, but not it. It comes when you least expect it.
    Overtime work as any other day. Two colleagues spend the night shift in their cubicles. Not three, not four---two. Alone. Excluding it.
    It lurks in the corners, hides in the shadows, disguised in the dark, a silhouette anticipating to strike. It did.
    It, human; predator, prey.

    You suddenly wake up.
    You grab your cup of joe, the fuel of your energy. You should've slept earlier.
    The room was engulfed in the clacking of keyboards. Everyone were like bees in a beehive.
    And you? Procrastinating about deadlines and projects. But you know you'll do it later. You always do. You only work here part-time here because your home is two blocks away.
    After work, you headed for home. And there you see it.
    An office with lights on at midnight. Drunk in curiosity, you walk in.
    Two corpses, huddling in the corner of a room wih cubicles---your office.
    Make that three.
    All things come and go.
    "Deal with it," a sentence filled the room.

     Happiness, excitement, and woebegone is all over my system.

     I ran to the green field filled with peace and serenity. The flowers of different shades of colors are evident all over the place. I almost slipped because of the adrenaline coated sadness rushing in my body.

     The sound of medals hanged on my neck synced to the sirens of my heart, holding a rectangular bounded paper.

     Steps away, my knees trembled but it doesn’t stop me from walking towards her. I sat down and smiled. Cold wind caressed my hair gently.

     I slowly wiped the dirt on her tomb and whispered between his sobs.

    “Mom, I did it. I made our dreams come true.”

    He placed his medal and his diploma in her graveyard and gently wished,

    “I wish you’re here.”

The frosty air was biting at Reed’s skin and nose. She could feel a tick biting into her leg. It didn’t matter. The pride of her first catch was pulsing through her body. The scrawny squirrel was dangling from her mouth.  A tantalizing smell wafted from the prey, but Reed resisted the urge to take a bite. Her pack needed the food. As the den came into view, Reed began to run. 

“Look!” She barked in excitement, holding her head high to display the squirrel. Brook, Reed’s litter mate came bounding out.

“Your first catch! Congratulations Reed!” Reed’s tail began to wag.

“I’m so happy!” she laughed.

For the first time, Reed walked up to the prey supply, a small hole in the ground, and dropped it into the pile.

As the sun began to drift down to the horizon, Reed sighed and let herself fall into a peaceful sleep.

In the bukid, I watch current ends of our bloodline press seed into soil, fertilized by the blessings of our ancestors. Each seed would grow, in the over soaked soil, yellowing upon maturity. Once cut from their root, they’d be forcefully flaked off of its color, no longer protected by a golden husk. They’d be shipped, some to other parts of the Philippines — local, while others, would export to America, Europe, Australia  — before they’d cook into a new culture, a new dish, a new life. Away from the bukid they’d go, leaving a new imprint on our culture and their location.

Open a book, turn the pages.
Take my hand and kiss me till the sun disappears. Hold me until it reappears on the opposite horizon. Tell me you love me. Explore with me, just as I might explore you and all that you mean to me. It can be an adventure, just you and me.
All of the newest technology could be our success, or perhaps our demise. Bring me the future, whether it be improvement or destruction. I want to see all that we can accomplish, and all the dreams that might come true.
Transport me to the past. Let me see a fresh perspective of an old event. I want to understand the reason behind all that I know today, but show me your slice of time in a way that I could never comprehend through simple facts.
Show me a world that I could never have imagined by myself. Create an entire new universe and season it with that sweet, beautiful magic. Feed me a taste, and let me savor it fully, so I might be immersed in its flavor.
Explore a story with me. Let’s experience a world beyond our own, together.

In one lifetime she lost all her loved ones.

In one decade she failed her life goals.

In one year she shut everyone out.

In one month she stopped trying.

In one week she knew there was no hope for a happy life.

In one day she realized she didn’t want to suffer any longer.

In one hour she looked back on what went wrong.

In one minute she felt lonely and sorry she couldn’t be stronger.

In one second she finally felt free.

So many things can happen in one.

“Girls can play football!” a girl’s voice rang out.

“No they can’t!” said a boy’s voice.

Ashley had her arms crossed and a football pressed against her chest. She wanted to be on the football team. It was before tryouts and boys were trying to get her not to try out. She was on the verge of quitting, should girls be on the football team? They all heard the coaches calling their names. Here goes nothing she thought. She was sweating and she was running as hard as she could. She was breathing so hard. After tryouts, she went with the boys to the couches.

“Thank you everyone!” he exclaimed. “Our team captain, congrats Ashley!” he yelled. All the boys looked at her in shock. She couldn’t believe it either. She was so proud, and she was the first football female player on the team.