It was the year 1962 in New York State. I don’t really know the town because I cannot read maps. I found out the year by taking a long time to match human noises with letters on billboards down the street from the pound and thrown away newspapers. You are probably curious about what is going on. I will just start at the peak of those educational days.

        It was a normal morning at the pound. It started with a person slamming the door of an old Honda Civic and marching in the front entrance, causing the little golden bell hanging from the hook on the paneled ceiling to chime and hurting all of the dog's ears. “Gift marinid, loops!” his fuzzy voice would shout. In return he would receive a few whines and “barks” because we were all ravenous. Nobody had any idea what humans said. We still don’t. He would unlock our cages one by one and lead us into the little eating room that always had a distant scent of feet and dog mess. The walls were plastered in a very messy manner, and it had a tiled floor that was probably there to have minimal stains. Really, though, you would be surprised.
         He would scoop little crunchy balls of smelly brown substance into our designated bowls. Humans always advertise for “Dog food that your dog will devour”. We do devour it, but only because we only get fed once a day. Humans eat 3 meals a day, those spoiled brats, and when they do eat, it isn’t small, crunchy pebbles.

        After that, he lets us go outside in the small pasture with a barbed wire barrier to run, play, and do whatever else we wanted to do. Yet, today was different. “Alibey!” he called. “Alibey!” The only human talk I knew then was my name.

            Trying not to lose my temper, because I was a great distance away and he would not stop calling me, I trotted over to him from across the field, tail wagging. It wags even when I am irritated. It feels weird not being able to have control over your own body.

        Anyways, he gently snapped a leash on my collar. I felt my tail quickly fall between my legs. Where was he taking me? To the vet for another needle? To the bath? I shuddered at the thought. He patted me on my snout and gave me a bone. Was this bribery? Blackmail?

         Reluctantly, craving a treat, I took the factory made cookie as we headed toward the building. I tried to chew softly so he couldn’t see how much I was enjoying it.

         Going through the back door, we strolled through the hallway into the cage room. I felt the old, bumpy carpet on my paws more than usual as I cautiously eyed the needles on the counter by the lamp. Surprisingly, we kept going. My body relaxed. He was making his way toward the wash room when we entered the hallway, but I let out some stress when we, yet again, pushed on. By the time we had reached the door to the front office, the man gave me a big, claustrophobic squeeze and said something I, anew, didn’t understand. He unclipped the notch connecting the leash to my collar and pushed open the big wooden door. Excitedly, having never seen the front office, I walked through the door with, in my opinion, very much swagger and saw a little, stout girl staring back at me. I stopped immediately. 

        We both stood there observing each other for about 3 seconds. She was a short, stout girl with so many freckles that it looked like she jumped in mud and the little speckles of dirt got on her face. Besides her face, she was really pale. Her soft looking orange hair sat lightly on her shoulders and she had puffy cheeks that looked like apples. She would probably look happy even if she was crying. And though she was chubby, she was stunningly beautiful. That mud analogy probably didn’t exactly help emphasize that.

        After a long awkward silence, she ran up to me (down to me), squealed, and picked me up. At first it was uncomfortable, but the new girl seemed very nice, so I relaxed.  Although, I was still unsure of what was going on. To you the adoption is probably unmissable, so I will just skip to the part when she takes me home. It was depressing to leave, but everyone was excited for me. Even the snobby toy poodle who claims he came from a luxurious mansion.

        When the girl, her parents and I pulled up to her driveway, she squealed again and violently swung open the van door, grabbed me, and eagerly ran inside, shaking me around. She obviously had never handled a precious pooch before. When she stepped inside, we walked down the pale blue hallway with a few lamps and a stool. At the third door frame, we went in.

         On the perfectly beige painted wall, there were maroon letters that spelled VELMA. Velma. It took me a while to try that on for size. She put me on a brand new, very fluffy maroon dog bed to match the letters on her wall. That was when I came to the realization I was adopted.
        It was becoming dark outside. I stared longingly at the digital alarm clock sitting on Velma’s nightstand, wishing I knew what it read as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

                                .                .                .

        The next morning when I woke up, it was still pitch-black outside, but Velma was already up and making me tuna and rice. This was more like it. When she was finished, she placed a pink ceramic bowl on top of a thin doily next to a small grey chair in her room with the gourmet meal  inside. I wolfed down all of it and then licked the bowl clean. After, I decided that I needed to go outside… for certain reasons. 

        I jogged over to Velma and whimpered. She didn’t understand. I picked up a purple leash labeled Elbie. I paused. Immediately, I had a flashback to my old owner reading a newspaper and instantly recognised the correct sound pattern. I could not believe that my name was Elbie, not Ailbee. All this time, I had never even known my own name. I stared blankly at the leash, but then decided to shake it off. I pushed the leash closer into Velma’s personal space and she said, “Pearl nuggets arf optimus cacti.” and pointed to her book. Since she obviously did not care about dirty floors, I found a nice, clean corner and did my business. Triumphantly, I strolled over to the couch she was sitting on and jumped on her lap. She sniffed in and made a groaning noise.

        “Moop? Jobs?! Sitting bird water soluble!” I cowered. Why was she yelling at me? She was the one who wouldn’t let me go outside. To make things worse, I had no clue what she was saying. I wanted to yell (bark) back, but I did not want to be as bad as her, so I just cringed. She angrily put her bookmark in the book she was reading and stomped into the kitchen, grabbed a few plastic bags and stubbornly cleaned the mess. Redheads must really have a temper problem. She calmed down and smiled. “Finally,” I thought, “she came to her senses.” I watched her walk into her bedroom, heard some crinkling, and observed her walk out with my dog bed. I winced as she opened the door to the patio and plopped the bed down on the corner by the steps. I winced again when I saw what was in the middle of my dog bed. Ouch. That hurt.

        “ Wonk,” she retorted, “ weeble norms lengthy partial quiet.” She walked towards her room and when I started to follow, she ran in and slammed the door on  my face. Jeepers, what was the big deal? I’m a really sassy puppy. This was pretty much part of the deal. We always pretend to not know any better until the owner can’t stand it anymore and then we stop. I heard Velma turn on her radio and plop on her bed. I was sad. I knew pets and owners got in disagreements, but I never realized that it was this bad. I sulked over to my poopy dog bed and got a devilish idea. Attempting to not make much noise, I picked up the nasty Wal*Mart bag and tip-pawed over to the door, pushed it open and made my way over to the pantry. I weaned the cabinet open, and forced the smelly bag into the small box containing pancake mix and breakfast cereal.

        Wishing my vocal cords were capable of laughing, I pulled the dog bed back into the living room under the couch and decided to help myself to some sofa stuffing. This was going to be great. I decided that if I was going to do this, that it could not be primitive. I slowly tore apart at the left seam and then I heard the home phone ring. Oops. My mind was racing on what to do. Should I hang up the phone? Hide? I definitely wanted to continue with my master plan, so I just pushed the dangling fabric back where it was and leaped onto the patio under a lounge chair.

          As Velma walked into the livingroom, I was practically holding my breath, hoping for her not to notice. She went over and plopped herself on the couch and the piece of fabric fell on her shoulder! No! My plan was ruined!

           I gazed at her, feeling stiff from fear as she stood up and scratched her shoulder. Could this be? Yes! She was so focused on her conversation that she didn’t even notice the ripped couch! I was relieved when she walked up the stairs quickly and jogged into the office. I cautiously dawdled through the patio door and went back to the couch. I ripped the seam just a little bit farther so I could finally access some of the plush, yellow stuffing. I neatly ripped out little 3 inch sections of foam and stacked them  by the inside of the second door frame in the baby blue hallway: Velma’s parents room. Eat that, Velma!

         Naively,  Velma came out to the patio (through the kitchen, so she did not see the couch) and started to come near me. My tail went in between my legs, because I thought that she was going to hit me. She tossed the door open and marched right up next to me. It felt like she was towering over me even though she was shorter than most humans.But instead, she gently patted me on the head as if to apologize and mumbled something I did not catch. Suddenly I felt guilty . Yet, it was already too late. My ears perked up when I heard the distinct noise of a key turning in the doorknob of the front door.

         Velma’s parents came bursting through the front door at that very moment, laughing. Next came sudden silence. I am pretty sure that Velma was being called because she ran inside only to find...yes...the dead couch. The parents were giving her a big and loud lecture probably about being responsible. And then she ran into her room, Crying. The worst part came when they saw the pile of foam on their doorstep. “AHHHHHHGH!” her dad yelled. I ran through the patio door and I wanted to burst into tears myself. I sprinted madly through the tiled kitchen, around Velma’s frustrated parents and into Velma’s familiar room. No matter how furious she was going to be, I had to do it. I pranced over to Velma, trying to cheer her up, but I was also ready to bail. Instead of yelling at me, Velma dried her tears, pet me and smiled.

         “Finally,” I thought, “I can understand her.” That is when I realized, no matter how difficult it was to communicate with each other, we always have a smile.   : )

        Then her parents looked in the cereal cabinet. Here we go again.

Beep……….beep………..beep……

 I slowly gained consciousness from what seemed to be a deep slumber. Out of habit, I reached over to turn off what I thought was my alarm clock, but my nightstand was not there. So, out of the absence of my nightstand, my hand flopped to the side of my bed, which forcefully woke me up from my drowsy state. As I blinked my eyes open and looked upon my surroundings, it became clear to me that something about my room was different. There was a big window to my right that was never there before. The room was painted a very faint light blue on the walls as opposed to my purple wallpaper. My bed seemed smaller than usual. It came back to me: I was driving pretty fast and then a truck came by. I then came to realize that I was in the hospital.

I pushed myself up to form an upright sitting position on the bed. I felt like I haven’t used my limbs in forever. My vision was a little blurry so I had to squint to see the page-a-day calendar on the table on the other side of the room. It read April 18th, Saturday. I remembered that yesterday was Saturday the 17th, so I was very confused. I then looked over at the mirror to my left. I jumped at the sight of my reflection, or rather the sight of a completely different person. The strange woman who stared back at me looked somewhat familiar. It only took a second for me to realize that this woman was me.

While I studied my offbeat appearance, I noticed, at the corner of my eye, a woman who was peeking through the crack of the door. But, just as I tried to lock the center of my view on her, she dashed away. I started to freak out, causing me to hyperventilate. Soon a doctor entered the room. He gently placed his hand on my shoulder and told me to breathe. I continuously inhaled through my nose and then exhaled through my mouth. My “exhales” were kind of choppy though because my heart was beating uncontrollably fast. I recognized another person entering the room; it was my mom. I eventually calmed down after a few more inhales and exhales and then prepared myself for an explanation for all of this.

While the doctor did “doctor” things, my mom gave me the news. It turned out I was a part of a car accident. The car was practically burnt to a crisp as she described to me. She said that the other driver faced a few minor injuries; but I didn’t get out so easily. I suffered a pretty major head injury, so I was in a coma all this time.

 “You’ve just been asleep for five years,” my mom explained to me, trying her best to make it not sound as bad as it did. As she looked at me worriedly, I looked back at her practically emotionless. I didn’t know what to say. To be honest, I did’t think I could even process the information. As if she spoke to me in a foreign language, I could not make due of what she just told me.

It was only until late that night that it finally came through to me. In an instance, tears started to flow down my cheeks. It wasn’t gradual; it was just all of a sudden. My mom, who was just awoken by the sounds of my cries from her sleep on the chair next to me, stood up and crawled beside me into the tiny hospital bed. She held me in her arms as I whaled out in agony. I wanted to rest my head on her chest like I used to do when I was upset, but, because I’d grown bigger, I couldn’t even reach that far low without straining my neck. So I settled for her shoulder, while she held my comfortingly in her arms and stroked my long hair, as I was shaking and sniffling.

That night I slept curled up against my mother. Before, I probably would have thought it was pathetic; but right now, I needed that more than ever. The comfort of my mother’s presence was what I needed at a time like this.

After I was eventually given the “okay” from the doctor to leave the hospital that morning, my mom carefully walked me, arms tightly linked together, to the car in the parking lot. I was dressed in clothes my mom bought for me from the department store across the street from the hospital. Although the clothing I was given was not necessarily my style, I couldn’t really complain because anything was better than that hospital gown I was dressed in earlier that day.

            When we arrived home, my dad was waiting on our driveway. As soon as we parked the car, my dad swung open my door. He grabbed my hand and helped out the car. I stepped out, one foot at a time, and I flung my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned back, lifting me in the process. After he put me down, we remained in that tight hugging position. When he started to pull away, I squeezed even harder. I couldn’t help from becoming emotional. Once we eventually let go, my dad wiped the tear that drew from my eye.

            After I got my bearings, we walked over to our front door. As soon as I opened the door, I was greeted by many of my relatives, which made all of my emotions come right back. Through the door, I swooped around them to avoid sharing the saddened expression written on my face, but then I was confronted by an even bigger crowd of people. I found myself drowning from all the questions and concerns they shoved in my face. My aunts and uncles swarmed in closer, barricading the stairway that leads to my bedroom. Now overwhelmed by the amount of people closing in on me, I shuffled myself out of the herd of people and ran up the stairs to my room.

            I hunched over my dresser and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I used my fingers to brush back the hair on my face, as I exhaled in a sigh of relief from the mob that confronted me downstairs. My mind could not fully accept the fact that this is now my reality. I just wanted someone to come out and say that this was all just a prank—that this isn’t real. My heart then started to thump vigorously. It was beating harder and harder, as if it was violently trying to penetrate through my chest. I never knew it was possible to feel the beating of my heart through my head, but it was quite unbearable. Not only that, but I felt as if the room was spinning. I dizzily stumbled towards my bed, and then collapsed on top of my bed.

            The sun’s rays pierced through my curtains and shined straight into my eyes; which woke me up from my sleep. I punched the air with my fists as I stretched my arms as far as I could across either side of my bed. I then arched my back and pulled back my shoulders in an attempt to sooth my sore back. Surprising, the hospital bed was more comfortable than my own bed. It then occurred to me that it was the morning of the next day. I had my sheets pulled over my body, and the door to my room was wide open. I assumed that my parents left me alone to sleep.

            I gradually got out of bed and opened my dresser drawer for something comfortable to wear, yet things don’t always work out. With an unwanted stretch and a cringeworthy tear, my clothes didn’t fit me in the way they used to. I had to resort to my mother’s wardrobe for something to wear; nothing like saggy, old sweatpants and a Van Halen concert t-shirt to start off a new day.

Over the next week, I would stay in my room eating ice cream and catching up on episodes of Dancing with the Stars. My parents, of course, were concerned for my well-being. My dad continued his busy work schedule, but my mom took some days off of work to stay home with me. There were times when my mom would ask if I was all right, and I would always assure her that I was. Though sometimes I wasn’t, I wouldn’t tell her because I didn’t want her to worry even more so than she was; she’s done so much already.

One day, my parents barged into my room, which woke me up from a mediocre night’s sleep. I was brought to my full attention when they suggested I attend a session with a local therapist because there was a last second opening. The idea of therapy was alarming. I didn’t believe that some person saying things like “how do you feel” or “everything is going to be okay” could magically make me feel better just like that. I immediately shot down the idea. I knew I could get over this; it was just a matter of when. But really, I just wanted to focus on the situation at hand, which is not getting so emotional after hearing about yet another thing I missed over the last five years.

While I was lounging on my beanbag chair one afternoon, I saw through my window that a moving van was in the driveway of the Murphy’s home. This was particularly odd to me since they lived in that house for over fifty years so I couldn’t imagine that they would move. I moved more towards the window to get a better look at what was happening across the street.

I saw that there was a young pregnant woman leaning on the side of the front door frame, pleasantly watching a little boy and a young man unload the van. I believed that the young man and woman were the boy’s parents. The father carried a leather chair while his son happily followed along. When they got up to the front door, they both put down their load. The father greeted the mother with a kiss and the little boy, being as small as he is, wrapped his arms around his father’s and the mother’s legs to hug them. The two parents crouched down to the boy’s height and returned his affection with an even bigger hug that was wrapped around their little family. Seeing all this made me think about my own situation. While these people are starting a new chapter in their lives, I’m here doing absolutely nothing to move forward with my own life

At dinner with my mom, I asked her why was there a new family moving into the Murphys’ home. She told me that their house was recently sold. She took notice to the annoyed look on my face and explained even further. She told me that Mr. Murphy was diagnosed with lung cancer four years ago and unfortunately died within one year later. Mrs. Murphy didn’t handle her loss very well. She remained in her home by herself as she dealt with her grief. She didn’t even acknowledge any comfort from her friends and family. It wasn’t until the final hours upon her death did she open up to her loved ones and admitted her to regrets for pushing them away.

I found that quite startling and, though I didn’t want to admit it, surprisingly similar to my situation. I excused myself from the dinner table to go upstairs. As I sat down on the edge of the bed in my room, I thought about what Mrs. Murphy went through.

Mrs. Murphy let her grief define her way of life. Rather than trying to move on she remained in her home and refused the help of others. In a way, I was sort of dealing with a loss. I didn’t want to think about my next step in life; it’s a scary thought. I wanted to remain in my home where it was safe and familiar. Even before the accident, I never really left my home. I never really opened myself up to people and I never really wanted to. I thought it was easier to stay away from people rather than dealing with them. It wasn’t the stupid car accident’s fault after all; it was me this whole time. I guess I was just using the accident as an excuse. But I didn’t know how I could change. I wondered just how could I ever do that. I knew people don’t just change overnight, so how in the world could I ever do that on my own. It was at that moment, almost on cue, my mom appeared at my door.

My mom sat beside me on my bed and wrapped her arm across my back. This time, I didn’t cry. I couldn’t keep doing this whole feeling bad for myself stuff. So I sat up straight, looked her in the eye, and firmly spoke to her about everything that had been going on. I told her how upset I’ve been feeling these last couple of weeks and how I was afraid to leave home and to face reality. She carefully listened to every word I said. Then when I was done speaking she told me, “Everything is going to be okay,” and I actually believed that was true.

That night as I lied in my bed, my eyelids grew heavier and heavier. I thought about how this all started; not just the car crash, but before that. As my eyelids drew to a close, some visuals appeared in my head. I could see myself, in the third person. It was the night of the car crash, five years ago. The younger version of me was driving car down the street and was crying. Soon those tears turned into rage, and I practically stomped on the gas pedal. I remembered that day; all I wanted to do was leave everyone and everything as far and as fast as I could. I blew a red light, and another one, and another. Luckily there was no one there. The numbers on the speedometer rose higher and higher. Just before it hits 80 miles an hour, my car slammed into the side of a crossing truck. Then, at that very point, my visuals fade into a sea of blackness.

            It was at that moment that I opened my eyes. I looked to my left only to see that my car was in flames. As I laid half conscious, sprawled on the concrete, I could hear the muffled sounds of sirens coming from every which way. I moved my head over to my right. Through the snowing of ash, I could see a scuffle of people running towards me. And at the falling of unconsciousness, I realized that it actually was the beginning of my awakening. Then just like that, I go back to sleep.

Mama Loves You

As a little girl my mom and dad had a vision for me. I would be the Texas High School all star, I would graduate highest in my class and go on to an ivy league college. They wanted my future to be as bright as it possibly could be. They had already mastered my childhood. I was enrolled in every YMCA sport and was allowed to try any sport I wanted and I grew up in a good home.I was living my parents dream life and honestly I couldn’t complain. But little did I know my perfect world was coming to an end. On my 14th birthday my dad was killed in a car accident, he had been out getting pink sprinkles and vanilla ice cream for my birthday party. Police say it wasn’t his fault. The accident was caused by a drunk driver. I knew my father's accident wasn’t his fault, it was mine, I had made a big fuss about not having the sprinkles and ice cream so my father went out to get them. My father was the glue to our family and now that he was gone me and my mother were lost and it was all my fault.

Shortly after my father’s funeral, my mother’s sadness and depression overtook her. She developed a drinking habit and refused to get help. As a 14 year old, it was to much to take on. I decided to move to my friends house. My mother didn’t like my decision and we began to have small arguments and small arguments turned into big arguments. Months without talking turned into years without talking. So much had happened in my life and I needed my mother to know. Today would be the first time I would talk to my mother in 3 years, 5 months, and 3 days. But I wasn’t going alone, in the backseat, asleep lying in his carseat was my son, he was going to meet his grandma for the first time.

After I left home I went and lived with my friend, we didn't make the best of choices and at sixteen I decided I didn't want my life to go down the tube, I had read about young teens and drug use destroying their lives and I made the choice for that not to be me. I moved out of my friends house and  I moved in with my aunt, who mind you was still in depression from my father’s death. It had been a little over two years and it was still hitting her really hard. When I got there I had to get myself together for her sake. Moving there meant I had to move to Houston. My mom didn't know.

I had been there for about two months when I met Jeff, he was a bartender and very cute. Sense I was only  sixteen years old and not at the drinking age, Jeff would hook me and my new Houston friends up with some alcohol we would have small basement parties at my friends house, I would never suggest going to my place, I knew what I was doing was illegal and wrong but this was my own way of dealing with my father’s death. But it only took me one night of too much drinking to smarten up,once again, the only difference being, this time it wasn’t just my life.

I remember thinking, my life is over. I can’t do this. I had taken a pregnancy test and was surprised to see it was positive. How was I going to tell Jeff and how was I going to be a mother? Jeff didn’t take the news very well at first, but I couldn’t blame him I had just met him and I was pregnant with his baby. There was a lot of yelling and crying mostly from me. But even though Jeff and I had just met he was there for me. I told my aunt and her reaction was mostly crying, she felt bad for me because she couldn’t help me raise the baby, she didn’t have the financial support or the energy, I understood and told her I would be moving in with Jeff. I knew I was taking a risk with moving in with a guy I hardly knew but I felt it was the best decision and it turned out it was.

As the months went on Jeff and I became closer and acted more as a couple, painting my bellie, taking selfies and going on romantic dates together and most importantly making decisions about our child's life. The big one was finding out the gender, I wanted to know but he didn’t want to. But guess who won? On June 5th we found out we were having a baby boy.

As my due date grew closer I thought long and hard about if I wanted to go see my mother while I was pregnant, or with the baby or even if I should go at all. My mom didn’t treat me well after my father died and it would be an emotional reunion. I decided to wait and enjoy the last few weeks of my pregnancy.

On July 1st, Jeff and I welcomed our happy bubbly baby boy into the world. It was the happiest day of my life, for the first time since my father died now three years ago. I felt overjoyed and so happy! It didn’t take very long for Jeff and I to decide on a name, Lucas Scott Marcus, he had every inch of my father in him, and with everything that happened in the last 3 years I knew my father would be proud of me. Now all I  had to do was see my mother.

It was a two hour drive from Houston where I now lived to Dallas where my mother lived. I looked in the baby mirror that was attached to my dashboard. Lucas was happily asleep sucking on his binki. In the background played “twinkle, twinkle, little star”. It was hard to believe that just 6 months ago I was listening to hard rock and living such a different life and now my life was lullabies on repeat.

A little whimper came from the back seat, I looked up into the baby mirror and Lucas’s eyes met mine, his cubby cheeks were rosy and his dark brown eyes twinkled in the sunlight shining in from the window. “Hi, Lukey!” I said with a big exaggerated smile. He laughed and continued on biting his toes.

A few minutes later I pulled into a driveway, there in front of me sat a big baby blue cookie cutter house, it had white shutters and big stain-glass windows. The house looked in good shape and the lawn had just been mowed. A tire swing swung from a big oak tree that sat in the middle of the front yard. My home hadn’t changed. I unbuckled my seatbelt, and got out of the car. I opened my passenger seat and was greeted by a big baby squeal and smile from Lucas. I reached in to unbuckle him and pulled him out of his carseat. I grabbed his diaper bag and blanket and held him tight. As I slammed the door shut I whispered in his ear “Here we go, baby, let's go say hi to mama.”

The walk to my front door seemed so familiar. As I approached the big red door, I readjusted Lucas on my hip. I took a deep breath and knocked on the front door. I was recalling every single pep talk I had given myself and what Jeff had said to me earlier that morning, “Addy don't be so worried this is your mother what could happen” Little did he know me and my mother didn't leave on a good note and the fact I had my 6 month son on my hip, I don't think would help me out much, but I needed to do this. I waited a few seconds and then the door opened.

Next to the door stood a average height women with short dirty brown hair. Similar to mine. She was wearing dark blue sweatpants and a Dallas cowboy sweatshirt. Immediately the smile on her face turned blank and pale. “Addy?” she asked.

“Hi mom.” I said

“Oh my god” she said. She came out from holding the door and gave me a hug. I had dreamed of this moment for three years and now that it was happening I didn’t know what to do. Releasing me from the hug she asked

“Who is this little man?” she was eyeing Lucas

“This is Lucas mom. My son.” I said brushing Lucas’s brown hair out of his eyes.

“Your son.” she said, in a surprised voice. “and his name is Lucas”

“Yeah.” I said bouncing him up and down.

Lucas held his hand out for my mom to grab. She did and you could see the tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

“Uh, would you like to come in?” asked my mom wiping her eyes.

“Yeah, thanks.” I said. As I entered my house, the smell and look felt familiar but yet I felt like a complete stranger entering my house.

“Here we can go into the kitchen.” my mom said leading me down the narrow hallway.

“Thanks” I said taking a seat.

“So.” my mom said “I have to ask, how did this little guy get here?” she said looking at Lucas.  

“Umm..well after I left home, I went to Caitlins house…” I explained the whole story to her and watched her reactions change with every word I said. After I was done she asked“Was Lucas planned?”

“Well I don’t like to say he was a mistake but no he wasn’t planned.” I said bouncing Lucas on my knee.  I looked over at my mom and she had a look of disappointment on her face. “What?” I asked.

“I just never pictured seeing you with your child.” she said

“ I thought you would have liked to see him.” I said looking at Lucas

“ Yes Addy and I’m not angry but you have to understand my surprise.” she said

“ No offense mom but you didn’t give me much of a chance, after dads accident.” I said still bouncing Lucas on my knee

“You're the one who left and I certainly don’t remember telling you to go out and get pregnant.” she said rolling her eyes and getting up.

“Me? Mom you’re the one who developed the drinking problem and refused to get help. I had no other choice but to leave and yes later on I developed bad habits but I stopped once I realized they were destroying my life. I also didn’t purposely go out and get pregnant mom it was a mistake, I told you that” I said raising my voice.

“How dare you come into my home and say such things to me. You left me two months after your father, my husband died. I do admit I had a problem but what did you expect me to be all happy and cheery or to act like his death didn’t bother me.” she asked me with a raised voice.

ontrol in not getting pregnant and maybe in the end it was a good thing you left in the end because I can tell you right now young lady if you would have stayed I would have not allowed you to go on with your pregnancy.”

I had, had it!! It was one thing for her to comment on my irresponsible drinking but when it came to me and my decision of keeping my son, she had no right of judging that. I took a deep breath looked at Lucas and found my strength.

“Do you not think I thought of that option, I told you Lucas was not planned and me and Jeff  were terrified when we went to that first doctor’s appointment. But Jeff and I stayed up talking nights on end about the situation and we both handled it mature and calmly in the end. I don’t for a moment regret my decision of keeping Lucas.” I expressed. In that moment I felt accomplished and no matter what my mother had to say next would affect me. I had my son and his father and that’s all that mattered to me.

“You are my daughter and I will always know that but I don’t know if I can understand or rap my head around you having a child.” my mother said. She wouldn’t make eye contact with me.

“I appreciate you being honest with me mom. But if you can’t except that Lucas is my son then I don’t want to have any part with you and let’s face it you can’t love me, you haven’t loved me since dad died that night, you blame me for his death and you always will.” I said. “ I have had a baby, lost my father all without you. I am sure I will be able to raise my son without you.” I got up from the chair and headed out of the kitchen.

“Addy….” my mother said

I looked back at her and said “ I truly thought this would be a different meeting but I guess not.”

“Addy...wait” my mother called out for me.

I turned around and said one last thing to her “You know the main thing I probably will never regret is leaving this home.” I said taking one last look around.

I walked out of my front door the same as I had 3 years, 5 months and 3 days ago. The only difference was I wasn’t going back.

I held Lucas’s head close to mine and whispered “Mama loves you….”

Accused

The boy sat alone at the defendant’s table. He was wearing an orange jumpsuit and a pair of handcuffs were locked tightly around his wrists. His crazy dirty blonde hair had not been brushed and his face was covered in dirt. Two police officers, clutching their belts, stood behind the boy, staring at him with hard faces. Occasionally, they would look off in other directions feeling quite odd. After all, in their point of view, looking after kids was stupid and just a waste of time. They could be home, watching Saturday football. They could be at the lake, fishing with their kids and grandkids, but no. These two police officers were stuck here in the small, cramped courtroom watching a kid.

The courtroom smelled like a cat once used it as a litter box and a tiger had hidden it’s catch of the day somewhere behind the judge’s bench. To the side of the boy was the jury box. Only a few people sat there. They looked tired and worn out, like they have been doing this longer than dirt has been on the Earth. The seats behind the boy were starting to be filled. People would wander in and admire the courtroom.

“Barker!” Someone had shouted out to the boy. He turned around to see a tall girl smiling at him. Her eyes were an unforgettable shade of blue and her long brown hair fell over her shoulders.

“Lisa?? What are you doing here?” asked Barker.

“Believe it or not, I’m here because my mom’s part of the jury,” Lisa replied. She looked toward the jury box and sighed. “I have to go (my mom’s telling me to go sit down), but I’ll see you later.”

Barker looked over at Lisa’s mother and saw her mouth the words ‘Get over here right now’. She looked mad and a little bit crazy, course she always does when Lisa talks to Barker. He started to think if there was a connection between the two.

“Yeah, ok. Bye, Lisa,” Barker sighed.

Lisa’s face glowed with happiness at the sound of Barker’s dull words. She waved goodbye and skipped away over to the jury box. When Lisa got there, her mom attacked her with a fury of words.

Barker looked at the ground feeling a bit better after talking to someone else than the two police officers. He started to fiddle around with a zipper on his jumpsuit when the door behind him opened. A gargantuan sized man in a suit and a bodyguard walked in. Barker knew these two all too well.

Barker was the defendant, the accused. The man was the plaintiff, the accuser. Barker had been accused of murder and theft. One of these men were right and the other was wrong, but no one knew who was telling the truth and who was lying.

As the man passed Barker, he snorted and stuck his nose in the air. Barker mocked him by snorting like a pig and flinging his head in the other direction. The police officer to the right of Barker bent over and smacked him hard in the back of the head. Then, he resumed his “guarding”.

People were still filing in the room. Barker had been in the courtroom for ages. He was getting bored (and almost fell asleep) when he noticed the man in the suit making faces at him. Barker glared at him while the man was looking at his bodyguard, laughing at his own antics. He turned around and the smile on his pudgy face disappeared when he saw Barker giving him the death stare. Barker smiled.

“You know,” Barker said. “adults are supposed to be mature.”

“I heard a rumor that kids your age shouldn’t be stealing and shooting innocent people,” the man mentioned.

“I din’t steal nothin’. Nor did I kill any innocent passerby.” Barker told him.

“He’s actually right for once,” the man exclaimed, looking from person to person in the public seats behind them. “He didn’t kill just any passerby … he killed Rian Logger, the cashier at the general store just down the street …  “ -the man was pointing to show his audience where “down the street” was- “ … You remember that little store. Just on the corner? Yeah, that one. Well this little nincompoop … “-he pointed this time towards Barker-” shot him dead at my always busy dollar store. Yes ma’am. I’m quite aware that Logger had been missing for weeks before, but for some reason, he came to my store. So this kid comes in and… ”

The man went on telling his story about what had happened that night and Barker rolled his eyes.

‘That’s all it is,’ he told himself. ‘It’s just a story. It’s not true.’

Finally, the judge walked in, followed by the bailiff. His eyes had bags under them which said that he was in desperate need of sleep. Everyone was silent when the judge sat down. A few minutes later, the trial started.

The judge rifled through a stack of papers and files. He finally pulled out a folder labeled CASE #100235. He opened it and looked at the contents. Slowly, he spoke.

“So,” the judge looked deep into Barker’s eyes. His voice sounded dry and old. “You think you can just plant a bomb,let it explode, and get away with it? What are you th-”

The bailiff walked up and muttered to the judge that that was the wrong file. Barker chuckled to himself at the judge’s mistake. The old judge rummaged through the stack of folders again. Finally, he pulled out a folder. It was labeled CASE #20937. The judge looked at the paperwork and closed it cautiously, looking again to make sure he had read that correctly. He let out a sigh that said this was going to be one uncomfortable case. The bailiff walked over to the judge and took the folder. What he saw inside it made him gasp.

“WHAT??!!!” he shrieked. The bailiff startled the judge. “You really think that boy would do something like that?! Honestly, Mike.”

“Oh um… sorry Dan,” the judge offered.

“Here. I’ll find the case file.” Dan searched the pile and pulled out CASE #748. This was the right one.

Judge Mike opened it and organized the papers. “Murder and theft, eh? Won’t this be an interesting trial.” He took a sip of his coffee and continued. “Mr. Perrie Hamalton. If you could please rise.”

The man in the suit stood up. He smoothed out his tie and smiled. “Yes, your Honor?” Barker snorted at Hamalton’s response. He sounded like he was a singing canary. The right police officer once again smacked him. Perrie sneered at him and the smile of innocence returned to his face as he focused on the judge once again.

“Now, let me get this straight, Mr. Hamalton. You’re accusing Mr. … “-Judge Mike flipped through the stack of papers-” … William Barker of-”

“It’s not William,” Barker said. “It’s just Barker.”

“As I was saying, you’re accusing Mr. Barker of murder and theft, right, Mr. Hamalton?”

“That is correct, your Honor. I’m accusing WILLIAM of that,” Mr. Hamalton said with another sneer. Barker just knew he was going to get a kick out of this.

“Thank you. Mr. Barker, if you could please rise.” The judge gestured to him and he stood slowly. He looked behind his shoulder, his eyes searching the public seating area for his parents. They were nowhere to be found.

The judge turned to Barker. His cold, dark eyes made him feel as if he was about to die a slow death.

“What is your plead?” questioned the judge.

Barker shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Uh … not guilty? I would never shoot a person or rob from a dollar store no one goes to. What would I want that’s there anyway, coupons and Ivory bath soap?” A few people in the public seats chuckled. “Or wait, how about some pickled pickles? You all know how much a boy would need a doll that sings you the alphabet.” More people bursted out in laughter. Lisa and even Judge Mike were laughing.

Hamalton stood up immediately, looking quite infuriated. “I resent that!” he shouted. Everyone kept laughing. Hamalton swished his large body around to face them. “THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!!! S-S-STOP LAUGHING!!!” he stammered. A vein popped out of his head and throbbed to the thumping of his quickening heartbeat. He was huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf.

“Please, Perrie calm down. Let’s carry on with the trial.” Judge Mike stopped laughing. He took a deep breath and the trial continued.

“Now that we know your plead, let’s find out the story. Mr. Perrie, please rise.”Perrie smiled slyly and stood.

“Tell us your side of the story.”

“It was about 7 o'clock at night, people were starting to leave and I was going to close the store soon. I had turned around and I heard someone walk in. I didn’t see who it was because I was walking towards the office. I told them, ‘You’d better hurry with your browsin’ . Imma ‘bout to close the store for the night.’ I walked in and that’s when I saw Rian Logger. He was breathing hard and was clutching his stomach. I asked him if he was alright. He removed his hand to show me the small gunshot wound. I ran into the office and got the first aid kit. I heard the front doors open again, but I thought it was just another customer. When I returned, I saw Barker. He turned around and started to study the contents on the shelves. He had a backpack and every aisle or so, he would take something off the shelf.

I shouted calmly to him, ‘You need to pay for those.’

Barker just sighed, reached into his backpack, and pulled out a gun. He pointed it at me and said, ‘Look here. I’m gunna take whatever I want, kay?’

I was scared that this … boy was going to kill me, the leftover shoppers (I told them to go hide in the back room), and Rian. It was just then did I realize that he was walking around like he couldn’t see what was around him and like he was dizzy. His face had a goofy confused look on it.  I knew this kid had been doing a whole lot of underage drinking.”

Barker shot up out of his chair. “I object!” The judge leaned over the judge’s bench and stared at him. He leaned back in his chair and gestured to Mr. Hamalton to continue. Barker sat down, grumbling to himself.

Hamalton cleared his throat.

“As I was saying, Barker was … drunk. He came around one of the aisles, walked toward the doors, shot Rian twice, and simply walked out. After I was certain that he was gone, I called the ambulance. A few hours later, Rian died.” Hamalton pointed short, stubby finger at Barker. People in the jury gasped. Barker could not take this nonsense any longer. If Hamalton did not stop now, Barker was going to kill someone. And that someone was named Perrie Hamalton.

The courtroom was full of chatter and angry growling. People were getting mad.

“How dare you!” one person shouted.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” shouted another.

“But I didn’t do that!” Barker said in his defense. It didn’t matter what Barker said. No one would believe him. He felt hopeless.

Judge Mike picked up the gavel that was beside him. He slammed on the little pad and everyone in the courtroom was silent.

“Mr. Barker. Please tell us your side of the story and make it quick. I’m sure at least two or three people in this room are just itching to get their hands around your neck.”

Barker nodded, agreeing to what the judge said. He was pretty sure of that, too. He cleared his throat and told his side of the story.

“Well, Mr. Hamalton got the time right. It was about 7 o’clock at night. I was at his store with my parents. Some other people were shopping, too. My parents were in the pet care aisle and I was in the clothes aisle. A few minutes later, a man, Logger, came running through the double doors. Mr. Hamalton was at the cashier’s desk and looked almost scared when Rian Logger came in. Rian smiled at him.

Pointing, he said, ‘Hamalton. I am so pleased to finally see you again.’ I came around the side of the aisle and peeked at the two men. Hamalton said nothing with his mouth but told many stories with his facial features and shock filled eyes.

‘So how’s life treated you after our little disagreement?’

Hamalton spoke cautiously. ‘Um, fine, I suppose.’

‘Congrats! I couldn’t be happier for you. How much do these walnuts cost?’

‘$3.99. Logger, where have you been for the past several weeks?’

Rian just shrugged his shoulders. ‘Around.’

Hamalton looked very uncomfortable with him in the store. He kept fidgeting with something under the counter.

Rian looked hard at Hamalton and walked up to him. ‘I don’t like the way you’re looking at me. It’s starting to make me feel a bit unwelcome.’

Hamalton said nothing. I crept out from behind the aisle and leaned against the wall. Rian saw me and sauntered over to the wall I was leaning against.

‘I really like your backpack. I feel like I’m supposed to own it,’ he said.

‘There’s a whole bunch of ‘em right there.’

Rian grumbled to himself and picked up a backpack. He walked around the aisles and picked a few items, turning them over in his hands. While he was doing this, Hamalton told everyone to go hide in the back room, so, naturally, I hid behind the aisle. When it looked like everyone was gone, Hamalton held out the object. It was a gun.

Rian looked over at Hamalton and sighed. ‘This is a great welcome wagon.’

Hamalton just cocked the gun. He appeared to be steadying it in his hands, pointing it straight at Rian.

‘I told you to leave before and now look at where you stand.’

‘I’ll go this time.’

‘Rian, it’s too late for that now.’

I could barely hear them over my heartbeat. Hamalton adjusted his grip on the gun and shot Rian three times. That’s when he saw me. He threw the gun at me and I caught it. Hamalton bent over Rian and ‘cried’. He hollered out and everyone in the back room came rushing out, eager to see just what had happened. They saw the gunshot wounds and the gun in my hands. I tried to explain, but none of them listened. Hamalton called the hospital and I was thrown in jail.”

Barker stopped.The judge was silent for a few seconds.

   The judge gestured to the clerk and she grabbed two files off her desk and gave it to him.Judge Mike held them in his hands. He stared at it as if hypnotized by the black, blotchy ink.

“Mr. Hamalton, from what this document states, it appears to me that you and Rian Logger did have a complicated past with each other. You did have a motive. There isn’t a paper in these stacks that supports your claim saying that he shot Logger. And if he did shoot Logger, what was his motive?” The judge sounded like he was with Barker.

Hamalton opened his mouth to speak, but closed it. Then he opened his mouth and spoke. “Well we all know how drunkards are. They do things without reason.” He had a huge fake smile on his face. Sweat dripped down his forehead and onto his brow. He was losing.

“Got any witnesses?” the judge asked.

Perrie Hamalton stood and turned to the public seats. “Were any of you at my store on the ninth?” He sounded desperate and his voice was cracking. A few people stood,  looking around the room as if suspecting a prank or something like that.

“Isn’t my story right? Isn’t Barker wrong?” Some people sat down not knowing the answer. The others shook their heads.

“The boy is right,” one man said.”Rian entered the store. Barker didn’t.”

“Yeah,” another chimed in. “Hamalton never went back to the office. He was helping me at the cashier’s desk and the store doesn’t even have his office. Nor did he go back to any room.”

An old lady stood. ”This boy was in the clothes aisle the whole time. I was at the other end he stayed there the whole time and only moved once. He also seemed to have total control over himself and never pulled a gun out of his pack. The boy speaks the truth, Judge Mike.”

Another long silence. Barker clicked his sneakers on the floor nervously. Sweat dripped off of Hamalton’s face. Lisa looked at Barker with a horrified look. Then, the judge spoke.

“With all the evidence that I have, I have to say that Perrie Hamalton is guilty of murder. William Barker is innocent.”

Barker looked up, stunned by the words he had just heard. Then, he bursted out in joyful tears. Hamalton looked even more shocked than Barker. Barker was happy that people finally knew the truth about that night. The courtroom was full of chatter and Lisa was by her mother celebrating. The two police officers unlocked the handcuffs that had almost broken off the circulation of blood from his wrists. He was a free man again. Lisa ran up to him full of excitement.

“I’m so glad that my friend wasn’t just sentenced to jail or anything.” Her bright pink lips were curled up into a smile. Barker was never so happy in his life. After that, things went back to normal and Barker was never accused of anything again.

Where I live, the temperature is almost always very hot. Our homes are equipped with expensive and complicated technology, as well as thick, insulated walls. It’s the best we can do to keep out the weather that has already killed so many of us.

Before The Thaw, the rich people used resources excessively, wasting so much of what they had, while the poor starved in other countries. The people wasted so much, always taking more than they needed, with no regard for how their luxuries were destroying the earth.

About 300 years ago, people started to realize that the climate, the earth, was changing. Temperatures all over the world were rising with increasing speed. When the weather was cold, it was a chilling, bone-deep, freezing cold that killed thousands. The severity of the situation was finally registering to the leaders of the countries.

World leaders met in a city that was once called Paris. It’s underwater now, of course. The goal of the meeting was to figure out a way to slow, and eventually stop, what they called Climate Change. The meetings did very little to help the situation. The people had been so intent on their technology and comfort that they had forgotten the most important thing.

They met 20 years later New York City, which is also long gone. About 10 years after that, in a desperate attempt to save themselves, another meeting was held in London. Unfortunately, by then it was too late.

Coastline cities disappeared under the quickly rising water. Millions of people were killed, and even more were displaced. The earth did not contain enough resources to support everyone, so the human race began to die off. Billions of people died of starvation, dehydration, and exposure. The remaining people were forced to cannibalize to survive.

Almost the entire human race was wiped out in just a few centuries. Those of us who remain live in an obscure desert in North America. Pretty much everywhere is desert now. The kids go to school every day except holidays. We learn about how and why the world ended, and we learn new technology. I guess maybe the adults have some ridiculous hope that someday we can fix the world.

Privately, after all we’ve learned, I can’t help but think that maybe the world was better off before it had humans, and it will probably heal itself after we are gone.

Mostly, I think that the human race will struggle along for a few centuries and then die out completely. There are those few people who still have hope that we can survive and thrive again someday, but even more rare are the people who think that there are already people out there. Those people believe that there were other survivors, that there are people in other parts of the world living the way we do.

We have advanced technology, so if there actually are people somewhere else, we could contact them. The problem is that we can’t contact people that simply aren’t there.

***

I walk silently home from school. My younger brother, Xander, follows close behind me, stepping in the little dimples my feet make in the sand. Xander talked a bit as we were leaving, but he quickly realized I wasn’t listening. My older sister, Victoria, is still in school; the high school ends almost an hour after the middle and elementary schools.

I can’t stop thinking about what happened at lunch today. The school lunch food was disgusting as usual, so Hunter and I had brought our own lunches. I was unwrapping a sandwich and hunter was opening a bag of chips when another kid ran into the lunch room, shouting. He was claiming that he had just seen an airplane.

This is a huge thing, if it’s true. The people around here don’t use airplanes. We all live close enough together that if we need to go anywhere, we can take the train. Although, we mostly get everything we need right where we are. The government delivers packages of food each week, so we don’t go to grocery stores or anything.

The kid who said he’d seen the airplane wasn’t necessarily a solid source. He came from one of those families that thinks that there are other people out there, so a lot of us were speculating that he could have imagined it out of sheer desperation.

Hunter and I talked about that for the rest of the lunch period. We both think that he saw one of those little desert birds and mistook it for an airplane, or that he was just lying. We don’t think that this event will change anything. I mean, it was just a stupid kid.

***

The house is empty when we arrive. My parents both work for the government, so they are usually gone in the morning before we wake and get home late. This may come as a shock, but we don’t get homework these days. We do in elementary school, but after that we are expected to work after school. My shift starts at four and goes until eight pm.

I work in a factory that makes clothing. It sucks, but everyone is expected to work. If you don’t work, you get thrown out, and nobody wants to live in the desert alone. Not that anyone would last very long out there.

“Savannah, can you help me?” Xander says from the kitchen table. He’s working on tech homework, and he usually needs my help. Tech is a class we take at school- we basically learn about electricity and forms of energy, how they function in modern technology.

“Sure, Xander, what do you need help with?” I say, but I don’t leave my bedroom yet. I’m looking for my factory uniform.

“Well, I can’t figure out how-” Xander is interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

“We’re home!” It’s my dad. Why are my parents home so early? They usually don’t get get here until much later.

“Why are you guys home already?” I ask as I leave my bedroom.

“There has been an… interesting development at work. Only the top officials are qualified to make decisions about it, so they sent the rest of us home,” My mom explains. She is pretending to look happy, but I can tell she’s worried. She tucks a lock of platinum blonde hair behind her ear.

“Okay so are you gonna tell us what happened or what?” Xander is bouncing up and down in his seat.

“We’ll wait until Tory gets home before we tell you,” My dad is a little harder to read than my mom. His gray eyes reveal almost nothing.

I have a sudden thought.

“Does this have anything to do with that idiot who-”

“We’ll tell you when your sister gets back from school,” My dad repeats, and this time his tone is harder, leaving no room for argument.

Huh.

***

When Victoria finally gets back, we are playing a game with our standard issue deck of cards. She stops as she closes the door, clearly surprised to find our parents at home.

“What’s going on here?” She asks warily.

“Mom and Dad had some weird thing at work,” Xander explains as he lays a card on the table.

“Which the haven’t said anything about yet because they’re waiting for you to get home,” I cut in.

“What happened?” Tory asks immediately. The three of us turn expectantly to our parents.

“There have been several reports today of an airplane,” My mom begins. “The office sent a team to investigate the sightings, and they found them to be accurate. Some officials want to send a group to find the origin of the plane. Other people would rather keep everyone here, safe and sound. They were considering a vote, but in the end they decided to send everyone home early so that the higher officials can figure out what to do.”

I exchange a glance with my sister. Her blue eyes are wide and worried. A beam of sunlight shines through the window, making her brunette hair shine. Tory is tall and thin, with long, dark eyelashes and and delicate features.

Xander has the same blue eyes and blonde hair as my mom. We look almost nothing alike; I have my dad’s dark hair and gray eyes, his bold face.

Later, after everyone has gone to bed, I lie awake in my bed, thinking. If what my mom told us is true, then they might actually send people on the mission to find other civilization. The more I think about it, the more it sounds like a good idea. If we can find other people…. I decide that I want to go. I want to go on this mission to find the rest of the world.

It takes me a long time to fall asleep, and after I do I awake almost  immediately to the sirens. Every building in our town is equipped with a government controlled alarm system. The alarms emit piercing screeches at regular intervals. They are rarely activated, but everyone knows what to do when they are.

The hall is packed with people when my family arrives. Hundreds of people wait outside the building, but we made it in because of my parents’ jobs.

“What’s happening? Why are there so many people?” Xander’s small voice is confused and scared. He clutches my mom’s hand tightly. My parents exchange a glance.

“I think they’ve figured out what to do about that plane,” My dad says. He has a faraway look in his eyes and he keeps running his hands through his hair. Tory opens her mouth, probably to ask a question, but she is interrupted by a deep voice speaking into a microphone.

“We have called you here tonight to inform you of the day’s events. There were several sightings of a plane today, and the government has decided to send a team to find the origin of it.” He goes on to talk about how the team must conduct themselves, and how carefully the members were chosen, and he sure takes a long time to explain everything. I’m beginning to wonder why they think this is so important, why they need to tell everyone, why they need to tell us in the middle of the night.

At some point I fall asleep, and I wake up as everyone begins to leave the building. My parents and Tory have managed to stay awake, and all three look like some kind of mixture of worried and excited. Instead of going out the main doors with everyone else, my family heads through a side door that opens into an office. Several people are already waiting there.

I know better than to say anything, so I just kind of sit in a chair and try to figure out what’s happening. It doesn’t take long for me to realize that they are making plans and going over procedures. The more I listen, I realize that they are talking about the mission. I wonder if we are only here because my parents work here. Are they involved more than they told us?

“Do you wish to take the children?” the fat man who was talking in the hall says as he straightens his tie. He is talking to my parents. They exchange a glance.

“Yes,” my dad replies. “We will take them. When are we leaving?”

“Now. Bags are already packed in the next room. There is a train leaving in an hour for the outskirts of this town, heading east. Walk to the station and board the train.”

Everyone in the room stands and we walk to the next room, where there are several large bags, each with a name on it. I find the bag that says “Savannah” in the middle of a clump with the rest of my family’s bags.

“Where are we going?” I whisper to my mom.

“We are going to find civilization.”

 Instincts

Ignorance. I’m surrounded by people infected with it. It’s a disease that lulls the victim into a false sense of security and happiness. Something I can’t afford. All these people are blind, they wouldn’t know danger if it slapped them right in the face. This makes it that much easier to eradicate them.

Our operation was running smoothly until one of our operatives drifted astray. The operative had been off grid for quite some time, so plans had been made to extract the defective provocateur. That’s where I come in. My mission is to infiltrate the operative’s home base and return them back to my executives. The rogue operative has intermingled with their targets and has integrated into their society. This integration may have caused them to forget their main objective and allegiance. They  may, when the plan is executed, turn on their fellow operatives and cause a collapse in our entire operation. This makes my job increasingly difficult because if I provoke the operative they may, then, eliminate me. This would set forward the chain of events that would lead to our downfall. I will not let this happen for I am, Kanan Rah.

I swoop down from my perch atop the roof to a small windowsill outside a second floor window. Peering through the window and witness the organized chaos of the operative’s base of operations. What these people call middle school.

**************************************************************

I can’t believe my luck. Today had to be the day where all my teachers dumped a massive load of homework on my lap. Not only that, but my bus broke down on the way to school, so I was late to class and have no ride home. I look around at the faded yellow walls smothered in cheesy science posters. The lab tables against the walls make the tiny room even more cramped. The feeling of claustrophobia is eminent as is the feeling of infinite monotony.

“Just great,” I mumble under my breath as my science teacher passes out a large packet of unsolved chemical equations.

“You okay, Adrianna?” my best friend Leo Thorley asks me leaning over the aisle, his dirty blonde hair falling in his eyes.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” interrupts a familiar irritation from behind.

“What do you want Avery?” I ask grumbling, rolling my eyes. It’s not that I don’t like Avery it’s… no I just don’t like her. And I had good reason too. Her favorite hobbies include shopping, glamorifying (her word, not mine), and finding a new way to make my life miserable. The only reason she hates me is because Leo became friends with me instead of her. She’s held a grudge since the 1st grade! But now that we’re in middle school she wants him in another way. Bleh. Since she’s a popular girl this should have been an easy task, but Leo rejects her every time and it drives her mad.

As is Avery could read my mind, “Oh I just wanted to restate the fact that Leo would be so much more popular if he ditched you for me,” she states matter of factly.

Leo despises Avery about as much as I do, maybe even a little more. Everytime Avery interjects a symbol of her desperate flirtation it results in a fight breaking out. Leo makes some snide remark that Avery always ignores. And then he would tell her off and she would storm away. And like always it ended the same way.

“When will she leave us alone!” Leo exclaims throwing his hands in the air.

“I have no clue, it depends how long it takes blatant messages to get through her thick skull,” I reply.

“So never,” he says smirking. I giggle as the bell interrupts our conversation and we gather up our stuff to leave.

Most middle school relationships are fleeting at most. But Leo and I’s friendship has withstood the test of time, we’ve been through too much together. From his first broken arm to my first recital, there was no way we were getting split up. Especially not by some ditzy, clueless, popular girl.

“So do you think Mr. Coleman will follow through on his promise of a pop quiz?” Leo asks just as we leave the room.

I start to respond when a wave of dizziness overtakes me. I stop walking trying to steady myself.

“You ok A?” he asks, concern filling his face.

No I think.

“I…” I start and then the blackness over takes my senses.

***********************************************************

I wake up in a totally different part of the school. The scarf I had been wearing was missing and… was that pizza sauce? Then I start to register the chaos surrounding me.

“What’s happening?” I question the student closest to me. She takes one look at me and lets out a bloodcurdling scream. She scatters in the other direction leaving me in a state of complete confusion. I look down at my hands. Pizza sauce? Where did that come from?

“That’s not pizza sauce,” a little voice in my head says menacingly. The truth hits me like a brick. A very heavy brick.

Blood. It enveloped my hands in thick coats and blossomed like a rose blooming from the center of my shirt.

“You were made to do this” says the voice in my head. Suddenly the hallway disappears and I’m taken back to what I believe to be a distant memory. I’m standing in what looks like a spaceship, with white, glossy walls and huge windows revealing the endless abyss of stars. I’m in line with just over half a dozen people of various ages and sizes. A man in a crisp, white uniform goes down the line handing each of us new clothing and a weapon. When he gets to me he pauses and tousles my hair.

“And you little one,” he says in a sweet menacing voice “are going to be our secret weapon.”

I feel myself giggling at this.

“Report to your pods,” he commands, “we’re off to Earth.”

The flashback ends as abruptly as it started. Earth, I think, going to Earth?

“That is correct,” says the voice in my head

“What do you want?” I ask it aloud as stupid as it sounds.

“Only to return you to your natural state,” it says, “goodbye Adrianna.”

“What?” I ask, but the darkness has already overwhelmed me.

****************************************************************

I wake up staring into the fear-filled eyes of my best friend. My bloodied hands are grasped around Leo’s throat. I release my hold on his neck and I stare down at my trembling hands.

“Now look what you’ve done,” the voice chides.

I breathe heavily, tears spring up in the corners of my eyes.

What am I?

I look into the eyes of my best friend. The eyes I know so well. He’s standing there frozen, a hand on his now bloodied throat. Right where I had just tried to choke the life out of him. The confusion in his eyes matched the confusion that was stirring inside of me.

His trembling voice breaks the silence, “What...are...you?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, my eyes becoming blurry with tears, all the emotions pouring down my face.

He sees through his terror and recognizes his best friend.“It’ll be okay,” he says in attempt to comfort me, but there is a touch of unease in his voice. He still keeps his distance.

“Will it?” I ask the tears burning trails down my face.

Suddenly, a dark figure bursts through the window, sending a million pieces of glass flying. In his hands he brandishes a long, scarlet sword. As soon as he lands he snatches Leo by his collar and smashes his head in with the butt of the sword. Leo crumples to the ground. Blood pooling on the already spattered linoleum. The strange figure thrusts the sword into the ground right between Leo’s feet.

“Who are you?” I ask defensively wiping away my tears and holding up my fists, “and what did you do to him?”

He guffaws. “What did I do to him? Well I’ll tell you,” he says taking a step towards me. “I killed him,” he states plainly. I suck in a breath. “He was unnecessary to the mission and he was in my way.” I stare daggers at him, clenching my fists as rage brews inside me. “And who am I, little one? Well, I’m here to take you back home,” he says flashing me an arrogant smile.

“Trust him” advises the voice in my head.

I look the man up and down, slowly stepping backwards, still clenching my fists.

“What if I don’t want to go home?” I ask the man my voice shaking, betraying my fear.

“Then I’ll just have to take you anyways, by any means necessary” he states bluntly and pulls out an identical sword awashed in blood. I break into a dead sprint, flying out the doors, running nowhere as fast as I possibly can.

“You shouldn’t have run,” warns the voice, black creeps into the corners of my vision.

“I don’t care!” I yell, my legs pumping as hard as I can, attempting to shake off the darkness, “Get out of my head!”

I start noticing my surroundings. The field grass slowly turns into golden sand, black rocks protruding from it’s surface. I skid to a halt. The waves bash against the shore. I wade my way through the rocks to the shoreline.

“Who said this was your head?” The voice asks, humor in its voice, the black starts crawling it’s way back into my vision.

“No! That’s not right! It can’t be true!” I exclaim.

“Just give in, you were never meant to exist anyway.” The voice continues with authority.

“Never,” I state defiantly. My resolve unshaking.

“I will retain my body with or without your consent.” The voice threatens.

I grasp at my forehead.

“Just leave me alone!”

Not only did I have to entertain the voice in my head, but now my kidnapper appeared amidst the rocks. Swiftly making his way towards me, one black stone at a time. My heart rate quickens to an unhealthy rate. Pounding at the speed of sound.

“Just give up,” my kidnapper says sliding over a rock, “it will make things much easier for both of us.”

“You can’t take me with you,” I declare. My knees start to buckle beneath me. The black eats away at my vision. “No, no, no, no, no,” the fear seeping through more and more with every word.

“Why avoid the inevitable?” the voice says.

I look out once more at the ocean, the energy pouring out of me in waves. I stare straight into the eyes of my attacker.

I invite in the blackness.

It consumes me.

    Colleen can be such an annoying person sometimes. I still don’t get why or how Ashley got to be friends with such a freak. The three of us sit, our legs dangling over the side, at the pier aside lake Thames. Colleen is rambling on about some tv show she’s been obsessed with and Ashley is sitting contently and commenting every now and then. I wonder if the water’s cold. maybe I could go for a swim to get away from this conversation. Anything to not be around Colleen.

    “So Hayden,” Ashley nudges my arm. I force a smile and nod. “Are you going to go see that new movie tonight? uh, what was it called?” she looks off into the river trying to remember it.

    “Megaton, and no. I told the guys i would be staying in tonight. Why? Did you want to see it?”

    “Could care less. Anyways, I was wondering if you’d be all right with Colleen spending the night.” Colleen nods in agreement. Colleen is cute and all but she’s so impossibly tedious to be near for long periods of times.

Colleen says “Yeah my older brother isn't going to be at the house tonight, so i'd thought I would leave my parents alone for the first time in like weeks” Collen flings her arm expressively.  

I roll my eyes as discreetly as possible “Yeah sure, that’s fine with me.”   

“Yay” Ashley shrieks with joy. Ashley and Colleen grin giddily at each other.

Ashley begins to jump down from the railing as she trips and falls forward I reach out and grab her ,Ashley lets out a high pitch scream from the abrupt movement. She lets out a small laugh “Ha, thanks Hayden” Ashley smiles sheepishly at me.

      “oh. my. gosh. Ashley are you ok” Colleen exclaims, the surprise clear in her voice.

They’re humans, they wouldn't know the difference between fast reflexes and my speed, right? I hope so. Colleen lowers herself slowly off the railing and skips off, Ashley at her heels. good, no questions.

I follow after them at a slower pace, letting them be cheerful. Half Demons like me don’t usually indulge in fun activities so much as we protect mankind from the worse of our numbers. My father was a foolish man. Never concerned with the affects his actions would have on his future. That was, until he met my mother. My mother is a shapeshifter. She’s one of the most clever women i've ever met. She convinced my dad she was mortal so I could be born. I still remain the only “human” to know about her.

I regain my focus as we begin to cross the street. Ashley and Colleen are skipping across with joy filled faces. Ashley turns around with a big smile on her face “We totally should go to Caffe Nero” I look at Ashley for a second then nod my head “Sure,but who's paying” I question as I crack a wise smile. Ashley and Colleen share a small laugh “I will” Ashley replies “you know I was only joking, right” I smile at Ashley. “Good, because I left my wallet at home” Ashley smiles at me. “ OH.MY.GOSH. you guys are the cutest couple EVER” Collen exclaims “Like #Goals” Collen sighs happily.

Ashley and Colleen skipped inside arms intertwined. I swear sometimes the two of them act like four year olds. But it's just something humans call “friendship”. Maybe one day i'll understand it. But I highly doubt it though. The only Beings i've ever cared for are my Mother and Ashley. My thoughts were interrupted by Ashley's high pitch voice. “Hayden, what would you like to drink” she questioned me visually concerned. I look down at her “Just some a french vanilla frappuccino” I look down at Ashley and smile. Ashley smiles back at me turns around and tells the barista my order.

Ashley and Colleen sit at the nearest table while I hand the barista my cash. “um.., sir your a dollar fifty off” she tilts her head towards me. “oh sorry” I apologize as i rummage through my pocket “Here” I look up and hand her the change. I retrive our drinks and walk over to Ashley and Collen. I grab a chair and sit myself on the other side of Ashley. I listen in on the intense conversation they were currently having about Justin Bieber's Song: Sorry. They finished their conversation that went on for way too long. And we head towards the door.

I looked up and noticed a slight drizzle I nudged Ashley and she noticed the rain too. She reached for her umbrella and opened it. I pull her in so that we were both under the umbrella. Ashley cheeks slowly turn bright pink as mine do the same. “O. M. G. I totally called it. Cutest couple Twenty-sixteen” Collen squeals like the pig she is. Ashley lets out a small sigh “Thanks Colleen, but next time could you compliment us more quietly” Ashley looks around at the people now staring at us. “Noted” Colleen turns a light shade of pink.

The three of us start heading towards the house. Halfway there I hear a slight noise in the distance. I reach for Ashley’s hand and begin walking towards the sound. when I look down there's a crate. “Hayden, what's in the crate?” Ashley whispers to me. I crouch down and look in it. Meow. A black and white cat pops it's head out of the crate. I look up at Ashley showing her what's inside. Ashleys eyes whiden “ Can we keep it” I give Ashley what the humans call “puppy eyes” Ashley nods with joy on her face. I stand back up and Ashley and I begin to walk again. Colleen peaks into the box and giggles “It’s adorable” she looks up at me and smiles. I give her a small smile. Colleen and I begin a small conversation about cats. “Amh” Ashley interrupts the small chat.

“Colleen, what do you think?”. Ashley’s been redecorating a lot because she wanted the apartment to reach Colleen's standards.”I think it's perfect” Colleen beams. Ashley and Colleen share a small hug as I unlock and open the door “welcome to our humble abode” I say with a smirk on my face. I walk inside and put the kitten on the couch. “Ashley can you put some milk in a bowl” I holler. “sure thing” Ashley brings me the bowl. “thanks babe” I kiss her cheek “Hayden were going to be in the guest room if you need us” Ashley proceeds to walk away.

I turn on the tv and put on Sherlock.

Giggling breaks out into the almost silent house. I look up from petting the kitten in confusion. The sound was coming from the guest room. This was one human emotion that i did not understand. why would they need to exercise when they're supposed to be having fun?.

I left the couch and headed towards the guest room the laughing gets cut of by a scream. I rush to the door and try to open it but it's locked. I hear maniacal laughter coming from inside. “ASHLEY,ASHLEY” I shout ashley's name several times and bang on the door. Finally the door opens slightly and Ashley just peaks out her head. “ Ashley, why was their screaming?” I question her nervously “Oh just getting rid of something that i've been trying to get rid of for years”. Ashley opens the door all the way. I can see that she is covered in blood and Colleen's lifeless body lays still on the floor.

    “A-Ashley w-why did you kill your best friend?” I look at her but avoid her eyes. “I could tell that she was starting to like you and you see I couldn't have that” Ashley replied her voice a little hazy. “And sooner or later she's was going to find out that you weren't human” Ashley adds on. I look her in the eyes completely shocked.  “H-how did you find out” I ask, taking several steps backwards. “we've been dating for six years, did you think you could hid it from me forever?” Ashley ask bluntly “I was hoping to” I say. Ashley goes to reach for something in her pocket. And I flinch. “Don't tell me your scared of me now” Ashley looks at me and pouts. “you're the real monster here i'm just an imitation of one” Ashley grins. I run to the balcony. I can hear Ashley scraping the wall with her blood stained knife. “ Baby, we can be together forever”. I try to back up more but there's nowhere else to run. I stand there. And watch Ashley's every move. AShley raises the knife over her head. My eye follow the blade. “Will together FOREVER” Ashley smiles and Slams the knife into my neck. I yell in pain and drop to the ground. I look up to see Ashley positioning the knife in front of her. Ashley leans her head back then smashes it into the tip of the blade. Having it go through her head. She drops to the ground on top of me. I take one last breath. “ Together Forever”.

Like most people, my life began with the sound of a cry; the cry that every newborn cries when they enter the world, the cry my mother cried when she first touched my face, and the cry my father cried when he held me against his chest. It was a cry that started my beautiful life here on earth. But it was also a cry that changed it forever.

“Marta, Marta!”

I wake with a start. My mother is standing over me, fear written all over her face. Her eyes have dilated to thrice their normal size, and her face gleams with perspiration. I glance at the window and notice that the night is still black as coal in my familiar Hungarian sky. It must be the middle of the night. Across the room I see my big sister Rachel frantically shoving clothes into her school backpack.

“What is it Mama?” I mumble, attempting to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

Mama glances at Rachel with a nervous smile and then turns to me. “It’s nothing honey,”  she says, as if trying to convince herself, “Just get your school bag and go with Papa.”

I quietly obey, taking my school bag in hand and running out to the kitchen where Papa is packing away food in the big purse that Mama had in our attic. My school bag is much heavier than usual, and when I open it, I see that most of my clothes are carefully packed into it, causing it to almost spill over if I do not carry it carefully.

“Marta,” Papa whispers, grabbing my little hand with his strong one. “Don’t be afraid. We are just going to live with your cousins until the war is over.”

The War. My little eight-year-old heart stops cold. How could I have forgotten? At school that was all we ever talked about. There were rumors of horrible things happening, but it all seemed so far away. Surely we were safe in our little Hungarian house, so many miles from the heart of Germany.

“But…” I stammer, still trying to make sense of it all, “Why?”

Before he can answer, Mama rushes into the room, practically dragging Rachel. Both of them have a bag in one hand, which I presume is full of clothes. Rachel looks terrified, so I look at Papa, who remains peaceful. Mama glances around the house for one last time, and a silent tear slips down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away, but it wasn’t quick enough. Papa and I both saw it fall. Papa rubs her shoulders with his strong hands and quietly tells us to take our bags. Then, without even one look back, he opens our door, and escapes into the black night, with us all following after him.

For the next few hours, all I see is darkness and all I feel is fear. Why are we fleeing? Are we in danger? Are we going to get caught? My entire body shakes from the cold, and my eyes water from the wind, but I take comfort in the fact that Papa is next to me, and try as hard as I can to be brave.

After what seems like years, we arrive at my cousins’ house. It is a modest little brick building near the edge of a small town called Pálháza. Mama quietly knocks on the door, and immediately, my Uncle Aaron opens it. He and Mama exchange some secret words, and then we all enter. Inside, my Aunt Hannah and cousin Rebekah are sitting at a wooden table, clearly relieved that we have arrived safely. Papa takes out his pocket watch and I see that it is five in the morning! “We got out right in time,” I hear Papa say to Uncle Aaron. “I could hear gunshots as we fled.”

By this point, I am exhausted, and Mama wants to unpack our bags, so Aunt Hannah and Rebekah show us to our room. All four of us are to share a tiny compartment in the basement behind the staircase. It has its own bathroom and two beds: one for me and Rachel, and one for Mama and Papa. It is so much smaller than our lovely house back home, but I am beginning to understand that we are some of the few Jews lucky enough to have a safe place to hide. Before I can even take my shoes off, I am sound asleep next to Rachel on the small, scratchy bed.

The next morning, I wake up to Mama’s voice, singing quietly. I look down at my feet and notice that I have not changed my clothes since last night. However, my shoes are lying neatly on the ground next to my bed. Mama must have removed them after I had fallen asleep! Rachel is still sleeping next to me, so I slip out of bed, careful not to wake her. Papa is sitting on the ground in front of his bed slicing some of the bread that we brought with us. I tiptoe over to where he is sitting and lean against him without a word. He hands me a piece of the bread and says, “Good morning, Marta! Enjoy this lovely breakfast bread, made just for my lovely little girl.”

 I laugh and gratefully take the bread from him, as Mama comes over to us. “This will be our home for a while, Marta,” she says as she, too, accepts a piece of bread from Papa. “Your Aunt and Uncle have been so kind as to let us stay here until the danger passes.”

Danger. War. So many thoughts rush through my mind. “But, we are safe… Right?” I ask, anxious for someone to quell my fears.

“The Germans want to get rid of all the Jews,” Papa explains. I know this from school of course, but I let him continue. “They are trying to imprison us, thinking that if they can contain us, they can contain our religion. But as long as we stay here, we will be alright.”

I smile at him to show that I understand, but I can see fear in his usually placid face, and I hear uncertainty in his voice.

All of a sudden there is a crash upstairs, and I hear Aunt Hannah scream. I hear another loud sound from upstairs that I’ve never heard before. Aunt Hannah’s screaming stops and the fear in Papa’s face increases exponentially and he holds me a little tighter. Rachel jumps out of bed and hides herself in Mama’s arms. “It’s okay, It’s okay.” I hear Mama whisper.

But it’s not. With the sound of another deafening crash, the hidden door under the stairs falls to the ground and I see three young men in crisp German uniforms standing in front of us with their guns pointed. Past them, I see Uncle Aaron lying on the ground unmoving with Rebekah lying next to him. Aunt Hannah is nowhere to be found, but deep down I know that she too was a victim of this Nazi invasion.

“Come. With. Us.” One of the men says in bad Hungarian.

Fearfully, we obey. The men hit us with the butts of their rifles and shove us up the stairs. When we reach the kitchen, I can hardly believe what I see. The table that Aunt Hannah and Rebekah sat at last night, while awaiting our arrival is stained with crimson blood, and I see a mangled female’s body on the ground right next to it.

“Oh no. Hannah, no!” I hear my mother say as she turns and sees the bloody table. One of the men slaps her across the face and tells her to stop talking.

I notice Papa tense up as the man hurts Mama, but he can do nothing without the risk of giving her the same fate as Aunt Hannah.

I can feel my feet walking but my brain can hardly fathom what is happening. The soldier’s cold rifle against my soft dress is a constant reminder of the fear in my heart, yet at the same time, my heart isn’t quite sure what it is fearful of. Am I afraid of deportation? Of separation? Of death? I feel almost too numb to even be afraid.

Outside, the men shove us into the back of their army truck where there are already at least twenty other Jews who must have been uprooted from their safe places as well. I notice my school teacher, Miss Coleman, and a few other children from my classes, but I do not have the heart to greet any of them at the moment.

Before I can sit down, the truck starts moving and I topple over onto its hard floor. Miss Coleman gives me a heartfelt look of pity, but we both know there is nothing we can do to escape this devastation. Papa is sitting next to me, but even he cannot placate me. The fear erupts within my heart and I begin to cry.

After hours of traveling by truck, we are finally allowed to get out at a large building, just to be transferred onto a train. Where we are going, and why we are going remains a mystery to me and I cannot seem to quell the fears that have risen up within my heart. The train ride seems to go on for ages and I can’t help but wonder if this will be the last time that I see the countryside that passes through the window.

Finally, the train stops. We are forced off in groups, some being sorted to the left and some to the right. Unlike many families, mine remains together. It pains me to see the young girls, no older than me, screaming in distress as their mother or father is ripped from their side and sent in the opposite direction.

I think back to yesterday morning when the familiar cry of Mama woke me up in my familiar bed in our familiar little house. So much has changed in such little time. I think back to arriving at Uncle Aaron and Aunt Hannah’s house at five in the morning, and settling into our little room for our last decent night of sleep. I think of the fear that overcame me as I sat in the back of that Nazi truck on the way to this steel prison and I think of my wonderful schoolmates and lovely teacher who all are subject to the same fate as I am. And I realize that if I should fear anything, it should be fear itself. For it was fear that sent my family fleeing our house and endangered my aunt and uncle. It was fear that caused Aunt Hannah to be killed and it would be fear that caused my own obliteration, too. I was sure of it. So, at that moment, as I stepped into the jail that would almost definitely claim the lives of my family and many others, I made a promise to myself. I promised that as long as I was subject to this Nazi rule, I would not let them win my fear. They could take everything from me, yet I would not acquiesce the fear that they were so driven to steal from me.

And honestly, I think that is what killed me.

It was an early morning, like most were in that concentration camp. The sky shone bright red as the sun began to rise. It had been two years since my arrival at the camp. I was now ten years old, and still determined as ever to not allow the Nazis to win my fear. I had watched unafraid as my older sister was taken from my family and escorted to a room from which she never returned. I had stood strong as Mama was deported to a different concentration camp. And I had been brave as Miss Coleman was shot right in front of my face. It was only Papa and I now, but we had grown closer than ever.

The German soldiers who I had grown so accustomed to seeing, knocked loudly on our little barrack and knocked down the door, grabbing Papa by his hair and holding him at gunpoint. I could feel the fear that I had tried to suppress creep up in my throat. Not Papa! They could take anything else from me. But Papa was my world. They couldn’t take him.

Without even thinking about it, I rushed towards him. I knew it was reckless and I knew I was putting both of us in danger, but I also realized that if I did not act, Papa would be gone. And I couldn’t let that happen.

“Marta, no!” Papa hissed as I tried in vain to reach him with my arms.

But I knew that I must try to save him. I pushed every ounce of fear back into my stomach and leapt at him with all my might. The last thing I saw was one of the German men lifting his gun, and silent tears flowing down Papa’s face.

And Papa cried.

It was a cry that brought me into the world, and a cry that brought me out of it.

Sometimes I wonder if I was wrong to try and save Papa. Maybe if I had just let him go, I would have been able to escape and meet Mama at her new concentration camp. But ultimately, I have come to the realization that just standing there and watching someone else suffer is almost as evil as causing them the suffering in the first place.

For, you can’t make a difference if you don’t at least try.

He exited his building, ran down Main Street to his office, up five flights of stairs, down a hallway, and furtively slid into his cubicle.  He looked at the clock. 8:52 it read. Shoot, he thought; he was almost an hour late. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if it wasn’t his fifth time being late that week. He got straight to work as if nothing had happened, but he knew it wouldn’t go unnoticed by the boss.

A part of Jordan hoped that everything would be fine, but another part knew that that was too good to be true.  As he heard the heavy steps of the tall, chubby man wobble down the hallway, he knew that his efforts to sneak in unnoticed were unsuccessful.  

“This is it,” he thought to himself. “This is my last day.” Those were his boss’s exact words.

“This is your last day,” he said. “You can pick up your last check at the front desk on your way out.”

Jordan packed up his stuff and headed downstairs, where he picked up his check. He looked down to the small thin paper he was holding. It was only $30.  As Jordan headed back to his apartment, he passed by Mr. Collins, the doorman.

“Back so soon?” Collins remarks.

“Got fired,” Jordan admitted shamefully as he held up his check as if it was proof.

“Bummer. Sorry dude,” Collins said sympathetically. Jordan spent the rest of the day searching for a job. Finding somewhere that was hiring was quite difficult in McGill, Nevada, given that there were only a little over 1,000 people in that small town. It was almost 6:00 when Jordan decided to take a break in his job hunt and get a bite to eat. He decided on Bob’s Diner just down the block. When he arrived in the lobby, the landlord was there, sitting on a couch, chatting with Mr. Collins. The the landlord spotted Jordan. He got up and walked over to him.

“Hello Jordan,” he said. “You know what day it is, right?”

“Tuesday?” he replied with a hint of sarcasm.

“Actually, it’s the second Tuesday of the month which also means rent is due…” he paused waiting for Jordan to interject, “do you have the money for this month?”

“Oh shoot, I totally forgot! Sorry...do you think you could cut me some slack? I got fired today…” he said, waiting for some sympathy.

“I’ve been cutting you slack the last two months!” he said harshly. “If I don’t have the money by 10:00 tonight, I’m kicking you out.” He stormed off to the elevator.

Although he was upset, Jordan continued over to Bob’s Diner.

“Hey Bob!” he said.

“What can I get for ya, Jordan?”

“The usual, thanks.” After enjoying his meal, Jordan began to pull out his wallet when Bob stopped him.

“It’s on the house!” he said with a smile.

Jordan headed back to his building where he had no idea what to do. There was no way he was going to get $700 in three hours. He finally accepted the fact that he was going to be kicked out, so instead of moping around he started to gather his things. Almost all of his stuff fit into one of his duffel bags. With nothing else to do, Jordan threw on worn out jeans, his baggy Nevada Wolfpack sweatshirt, sat down and watched TV until 10:00 arrived.

He was awakened by a loud knock at his door. He dragged himself over to the entrance and opened it to find exactly what he was expecting. The landlord.

“Got the money?” he asked.

“Nope, but I’m already packed so here’s the key,” he said as he dropped the old, rusted, chipped key into the landlord’s sweaty palm. “Have a goodnight.” He barely had any money left and nowhere to sleep, so he strolled on over to the only place open that late in McGill. That would be the Lucky: Casino & Hotel. When Jordan got inside, he immediately tried to find the bar. While searching, he kept passing colorful slot machines. They were everywhere. He turned the corner, more slot machines. He turned again, more slot machines. The bright noisy machines were starting to mesmerize him.

“I could win,” he thought to himself. “I’ll just play a few rounds and give it try,”

Jordan sat down at an open slot and began to play. After only 30 minutes he had lost over 90% of his savings. He spent a long time debating whether or not to spend his last few dollars. In those few minutes, the lady sitting next to him started to hop up and down with excitement. He looked at her machine; 777 it said. People started to gather around her and add to the noise. With all the chaos, Jordan felt motivated to try once more, thinking that he could be just like her, and win big. He slipped in the money, pulled the handle, and waited. Nothing. With nothing else to gamble, he headed on over to the lounge.

A few hours later, two men in suits approached him. He sat up straight, and looked them in the eyes as they were getting closer. Jordan’s palms were starting to sweat. It was hard to relax when two tall men in black suits are walking towards you with no smiles and deadly glares.

“Hello sir,” the first guy said in a low raspy voice.

“Hi,” Jordan replied. “Can I help you?”

“We need your help...” he paused and looked at his partner, then looked back at me, “cheating.” Jordan hesitated for a second. The man continued, “It’s easy. All you have to do is play the game. We already have adjustments made to make sure you win.”

“So why do you need me to do it? And why would I help you?” he questioned.

“Because we’re already known as cheaters around here. They won’t let us play. Plus you get you keep your share of the winnings,” he grinned.

Jordan looked around as if he was searching for a bright sign to lead him to the right answer. He realized that he had nothing. He had no money, he had no place to live; he had no job. Nothing.

“Fine,” Jordan agreed reluctantly. “What do I need to do?”

The men explained to him the only three things to do: play, win, and give half of the money to them on his way out. Jordan played and won. All that was left was to split it up and hand off the money on his way out.

Jordan had never held so much cash at one time in his life. It made him feel powerful. On his way out the door, he secretly handed off half the earnings and kept on walking. A grin was forming on his face, but quickly faded when he realized it was not fair money. It suddenly hit him. He was a criminal.

It was six  in the morning and Jordan had know idea what to do. He quickly decided that he needed to eat, so of course, he went to Bob’s.

“Hey Jordan!” Bob said, “what can I get for you today?”

“The usual,” he ordered, “and make it pronto, I’m hungry.”

Bob just looked at him for a second, surprised at Jordan’s new tone. Then he got to work, cooking his burger and fries. When Bob served his food to Jordan, he expected a thank you but never received one. He started to wonder what was going on with this ‘new Jordan’. When he noticed that Jordan was finished eating he promptly brought over his check. Jordan pulled out his huge pile of cash.

“Where did that come from?!” Bob blurted.

Jordan grinned, “I played a game.”

“And you won?” Bob asked. “How?!”

“Let’s just say I had a few tricks up my sleeve.”

“So you cheated?”

“No,” Jordan responded with an obvious wink.

Jordan paid for his meal and left without even giving a tip. Bob and the other workers soon became frustrated with how Jordan had changed.

When the workers started to see Jordan riding around in his new Mustang and staying at the fanciest apartment building, they became even more aggravated. They decided to take their information to the police. The authorities  were very happy to hear this information, and launched an investigation immediately.

The next week, Jordan was sipping his coffee in the Corner Cafe. He turned the page and glanced up to see a police officer heading towards him. Jordan decided to play it cool and turn back to his book.

“Hello sir, I am an investigator with the Nevada Police Department,” he continued. “You are under arrest for grand larceny. Please stand up and put your hands behind your back.”

“Wait! I didn’t do anything!” Jordan claimed as the officer cuffed his hands together.

As the investigator led Jordan to his car, he read him his rights. Jordan was pushed into the back seat of the police car and had the door slammed in his face. So many thoughts rushed through his head during that car ride, How did they know?, Prison is going to be awful!, I knew this was a bad idea. When the car was passing Bob’s Diner, Jordan looked inside and saw the workers. Even Bob was pointing at him and smiling. What had he done?

Jordan had a lot of time to think when he was in his tiny jail cell. There were spider webs in the corner and an unidentified liquid on the ground. There was a scent of urine and Windex in the air. He sat on an old rusty bench that was covered with a stained cloth. The paint on the metal bars was chipping off, showing the years of wear. There were names and drawings carved into the walls. Jordan knew that what he had done was wrong, and the idea that he could spend years in a cell like this, made his guilt even stronger. He looked back on the last few weeks and realized that he wasn’t even happy; that money didn’t make a difference. None of this was worth it.

The whole morning leading up to his trial, Jordan’s mind was cluttered with all the possible outcomes. He imagined a long life in a gross prison. He imagined all the gross meals and bathrooms. In the end, Jordan ended up with only 48 hours of community service.

The next morning, Jordan was released. He walked away a new person with all the knowledge he needed. He learned that money wasn’t everything and decided to break away from the control it had over him. As a wise man once said, “Money often costs too much.”

Cali Morrison’s trip to Neverland

It was just a boring day in the orphanage. Cali was sitting on the cot in her room reading her book. Cali didn’t like to be loud and obnoxious ,but yet still wanted a friend to read books with and discuss the wonders of reading. A loud bell rang signaling the girls it was time to eat supper. Cali put her book under her pillow and walked into the dining hall. She grabbed a clean tray and got into line with the other girls. Cali walked up to the first lady with a pot of slop.
“Where is the rest of the food, we normally have rolls and cheese,” Cali questioned.
“Well little one, we are running out of food and it has become expensive after the war. Now run along before you get none at all” the lady hastily said. Cali turned around and walked off. She knew that Mother Lee was hiding all the food and keeping it for herself. Cali sat down and stared at the disgusting slop. Cali knew Mother Lee was hiding the rations in her room but where. She picked up the slop and put it into the trash bin. She slowly walked to the washroom. Cali accidently bumped into Mother Lee.
“Oh, I’m quite sorry Mother Lee” Cali said looking down.
“Quite sorry my rump, go get washed up and head straight to bed” Mother Lee demanded pointing towards the washroom. Cali quickly scattered to the washroom to do her business. Once Cali was finished she hurried back into her room and shut the door behind her. Cali walked over to her cot and sat down to read her book. It was almost midnight. Cali went towards the dining hall to see Mother lee was busy eating donuts and playing cards with the sisters. Cali quickly walked down the hallway to get to Mother Lee’s room. She slowly opened the door trying not to make a noise. Then she started looking for an entrance. Finally Cali pulled on a bible revealing a secret passageway. Cali walked through the passageway to find a room filled with canned goods and treasure. She grabbed a jar full of marmalade and scarfed it down. Cali walked deeper into the room to see shelves full of documents. Cali scanned over the papers realising they were papers on the children of the orphanage. Cali looked over all of the documents looking for her letters.
“I found mine” Cali shouted. All of a sudden a big bang came from Mother Lee’s room. Cali jumped at the loud noise losing the paper in her hand. Mother Lee came barging into the room looking like a rabid animal. She grabbed Cali’s arm with a tight squeeze and pulled her out of the hidden room.
“Out, Out, Out. Go to your room, you will recieve your punishment tomorrow for trespassing in my room. You’re lucky enough I’m not considering shipping you off to a military school of some sort” Mother Lee shouted before slamming her door with a big bang. Cali quickly scattered to her room slamming the door close and locking it. Cali quickly went over to her bed and began to cry.
“All I wanted to know was who my mother was and if she was ever coming back” Cali said crying. All of a sudden the window opened with a loud clang. A shadow flew into the room. Cali fell off her bed in a panic trying to figure out what flew through the window. Cali looked around in a panic still not finding the shadow. All of a sudden a figure floated down quickly in front of her bed.
“Please help me he’s after my family treasures and food” the flying girl shouted.
“What I don’t understand, who are you and what are you doing here” Cali said in a frantic.
“I am Marina, daughter of Captain James Hook. I need your help you are the only one who can fight against Pan and the savages” she said coming closer.
“I thought Pan was the good guy” Cali asked rising from the ground slowly.
“Not anymore, after Wendy left he became evil and took all of the pixon and used it against everyone. The savages were scared and decided to join him and the fairies. He attacks everyone that gets in his way or he doesn’t like” she said scared.
“I need your help to fight him off, please” Marina asked with hope holding out her hand.
“I hardly know you, how could I just run off with a random stranger who claims to be the Captain Hook’s daughter” Cali whispered.

“Please I beg you, help me” Marina pleaded.
Cali grabbed ahold of the girl’s hand and they took off. Cali and Marina flew out into the warm night air. Cali looked down at the town she called home. She couldn't believe she was leaving with a random stranger.
“Hold on tight” Marina shouted. In that moment they took off in a flash. Next thing Cali knew she was on a island with white sand. Palm trees decorated the middle of the island. Cali turned to see a huge blue ocean. Before Cali could say anything about the island Marina made a whistling noise. A large pirate ship came in sight. Cali and Marina climbed aboard the ship and walked to the captain’s cabin.
“I know this is all a big whirl of wind to you ,but you're the only one who can help. You look exactly like Wendy and if I’m right the only one Pan will listen to. He was close with Wendy” Marina said.
“We need to stop this before someone get’s hurt, Please for Neverland” Marina sadly said.
“If this gets anymore out of hand he may go to your world and try to take over” Marina replied. Cali thought for awhile.
“Okay I’ll help” Cali responded.
Marina started to explain the plan with Cali.
“So that’s it, all I have to do is pretend I’m Wendy and he’ll stop” Cali asked.
“Let’s hope” Marina replied rolling up the scroll. Marina started to pull out a long nightgown just like the one from the movie.
“Here it was one of Wendy’s old nightgowns, wear this and maybe he’ll think it’s her” Marina said giving her the dress. Cali quickly changed. Once Cali was done Marina called the warriors aboard. Cali helped Marina pass out swords and load the cannons just in case of an attack. After they finished Marina and Cali sailed to the other side of Neverland. The ship had stopped at the old,wooden dock. Cali quickly jumped off onto the creaky dock. Cali fixed her hair and looked at herself in the water. Cali wasn’t sure if this was going to work ,but she knew she had to save Neverland for it would save her world too.
“Ready” Marina questioned.
“Ready” Cali replied looking up from the water.
“Remember don’t call him Pan, he will instantly know I sent you to stop him” Marina whispered afraid of someone hearing her.
Cali nodded her head and ran into the jungle full of tall trees and thick vines. After a couple of steps in she was caught in a rope trap. Savages came towards her with spears. The savages cut the rope and carried her towards a small village.
“Let me go” Cali shouted.
The savages ignored her and brought her in front of a throne. All of a sudden a flying boy landed on the chair.

“Who are you” Peter questioned.
“It is I ,Wendy. I’ve come to stop you before you make a mistake by stealing from the people of Neverland” Cali said trying to stand up. Peter jumped off of the throne signaling the savages to release me.
“Peter you can’t steal from others” Cali said.
“I can do what I please they are my people and I can do as I please” he replied turning his back and crossing his arms.
“You are going to hurt people Pan” Cali said covering her mouth instantly.
“You aren’t Wendy, Savages kill her” Peter shouted with anger.
All of a sudden the pirates came barging in fighting the savages.
“Stop” Cali screamed. In an instant everyone stopped fighting staring at the girl in shock.
“This is ridiculous. Just because you’re a king does not mean you get to steal all of the things your people have worked hard for” Cali screamed.
“They are my people, I can have whatever I want” Peter screamed.
“That does not mean anything. You should always be nice to people even if they are different. What would have Wendy thought about this” Cali questioned Peter.
“What have I done, I guess I was upset about Wendy leaving” Peter responded putting his head in his hands.

“I shall return everything right this instant” Pan said as he flew off. Everyone cheered for now there would be peace in Neverland once again.

“Cali I must take you home” Marina whispered to Cali. Cali nodded and waved goodbye to the people of Neverland. Marina grabbed ahold of Cali and they flew off. Cali finally reached the orphanage.
“Thank you, for everything” Marina whispered shaking Cali’s hand.
“Your welcome, do you think we’ll ever meet again” Cali asked with hope. “Maybe one day I’ll come back for you ,but for now just keep your chin up” Marina said giving Cali a warm hug. Marina stepped back towards the window.
Before she could leave she whispered “Never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting”. Marina then flew off into the morning. Cali quickly went to the window to see the twinkle when Marina left. All of a sudden Mother Lee barged into the room.
“Time for your punishment” Mother Lee said grabbing Cali’s arm.
“Mother Lee you lied to everyone about the food for the orphanage” Cali said.
“Yeah so what.What are you going to do about it squirt” Mother Lee asked with anger.
“I’m not dumb, I know people who can put you in the bighouse, Mother Lee. I can end all of the money you get for taking care of us with one phone call” Cali smirked.
“You wouldn’t dare” Mother Lee glared at Cali.
“Try me” Cali said staring down Mother Lee. Mother Lee hissed at Cali and left stomping her feet out the door. Cali smiled to herself knowing she and the other orphans would have a delicious meal tonight.
After that day Mother Lee never talked down to any child of the orphanage. Marina never came back for Cali ,but she knew Marina was watching closely over her. Cali became a great story teller who told her adventure to Neverland. About helping Peter Pan with his stealing issue and making friends with Captain Hook’s daughter. No one believed her ,but that did not stop her from telling her story. The story of Cali Morrison’s trip to Neverland.