Okay so my school year it started off pretty good and then came the worst time  of my life,

 so before you get completely lost I’ll go back to when it started.

So me and Kenna were best friends we weren’t family but we totally  acted like it, I think everyone has that friend who you and them go back and forth to each other's house’s. We did that, until it happened she was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, She had gone to 2 different hospitals that week.Yet she still went to school the days she was able to pick herself up and push herself to it. 

On Wednesday June 17 2019 was when the worst day ever happened, Me and Kenna were in the hallway almost to the classroom she dropped her books and fell to the floor I quickly dropped down with her yelling at the top of my lungs “HELP SOMEONE HELP CALL 911 HURRY” I told a kid to help me get her out to the parking lot. The scary lady who got her in the ambulance wouldn’t let me go with her so as soon as school got out I ran to the hospital, I dashed through thorn bushes and and a spiky fence (I cut my leg a little bit). I ran in the doors and said “I NEED TO SEE KENNA RICHARDSON!!” I explained with a terrified voice. “Only close family is allowed to visit at these times. But you can wait here for her if you would like” as the lady who was at the desk exclaimed , “How is she will she be okay, And can I call my mom to tell her that she should come and get me here.”

“Yeah what ever tickles your fancy dear.” as she rolled her eyes at me.

5:18 A.M  6/18/19 the nurse comes out and tell me i can see her now so I walked in the room and saw her eyes were shut so at first I thought she was dead that my best friend didn’t make it that god thought she wasn’t good enough for this world then I here her say “Tay is that you” with a soft week voice…..  I ran up to her and said “I was so scared I thought you had left me and I don’t want you to leave me you can leave when I know I can  take on the world by myself cause it would be hard enough to go threw 1 year then the rest of my life.” “Awww Tay but I don’t know if I can make it threw the day I can’t promos you……….. BEEEPP is all I heard. KENNA KENNA CAN YOU HERE ME, NURES I NEED A NURE IN HERE PLEASE HELP ME.

“Com’on Taylor lets go home we can come back tomorrow.” “WHAT IF THERE IS NO TOMORROW WHAT IF THIS IS THE END MOM I CAN’T LEAVE” “Ok I’m going to get some blankets for us from home you stay here.”  “What else was I going to do go skydiving while your gone.” “Don’t get sassy with me young lady.” as Taylors mom explained “.

The next day Taylor went to school with Kenna still at the hospital, The teacher said I have some bad news class Kenna is still in the hospital I started crying many people gathered around me trying to make me feel better. At lunch I went outside to get some fresh air, all I see is Sara (Sara with no h and Kenna’s so called friend) she had hung her self on the monkey bars,The same monkey bars where me and Kenna became best friends. Well I had thought she hung herself but no i went up to her body and saw a note that had said *This is what happens when you tease a Richardson, next person I see making fun of Kenna that strong brave girl they will die I don’t know how yet but they will,that’s not a threat that is a promise.*

Threw out the week more bad stuff happened, Monday Kenna had to go to the hospital Tuesday Sara was murdered Wednesday a fire started in the library Thursday my aunts wedding got destroyed and friday my teacher got in a car accident. So far this isn’t going as good as it could be. 

I walked in the door and my mom was sitting on the couch with Mr. and Mrs.Richardson I slowly walked over and asked "Is Kenna okay” “Sadly we don’t know yet they wouldn’t let us see her because she was still in surgery” 

“not to sound mean but what are you doing here?” I asked “well right before she went in to surgery Kenna told me that if she didn’t make it that she wanted you to wright a speech and say it at her funeral, if you would be okay with that.” “Of corse I will do that I love Kenna to death *tears up a bit* bad choose of words, but I love her more than anything in the world I will start right now.”

As I ran up the stairs almost falling on the 6th step but just like her I pushed threw, and never gave up.

“Mom can we go see her I heard someone say that Kenna is out of surgery.” “Well I can’t stay there with you so I will drop you off at the door so I can go do some shopping, and before I do that we can go get some flowers and a nice vase.” so me and my mom rushed to the store and got some pink roses that is her favorite flower.

Right before I opened the door to her room I heard a strange voice form inside the room I opened the door a crack, it was a tall and scruffy looking man with a dark black coat and a small white hat. I saw him turn around and walk toward the door so I quickly ran to the other hallway and as he walked past me I got a good look at his face it looked like my old 4th grade teacher Mr.Malzberg but I didn’t bother to say hi I just wanted t go in and see Kenna.

“Hey Kenna how are you doing?” I asked with a soft voice “I have been better you know because kinda dying in a hospital wasn’t my first choose of what I should do today.” As Kenna explained with a long sigh at the end.

“Well your mom told me that you said you wanted me to write something and say it at your funeral.” “She did when did she see you, she said she would only be gone for a minute, your house is a 15 minute drive and…” I cut her off "only your mom came your dad was still here waiting for you to get out of surgery”  “OWW help me……..” “NURSE NURSE COME HERE NOW” almost 50 nurses came in Kenna’s little room I overheard a nurse say that they had to get her in to a bigger area.

I jumped on her bed as the nurses were moving it. I told one of them that I had to stay with her. that my mom and her mom and dad were at my house and I was left here with her so I can’t leave her side at anytime, if there is a fire i would give her a piggy back ride to safety. “Okay sweetie just stay on the bed with her unless the doctor says other wise.” I got up close to Kenna and took her hand and I said "I’m right here but if you don’t feel like you can take much more just say good bye then leave me okay <3 but you will always be here in my heart." 

just like that she said “This cancer thing is starting to get old, but I’m not going down with out a fight.”  The doctor made me get off so he could bring her into another surgery and as I jumped down I said “ KENNA WAIT” as i yelled the doctor stopped and said we can’t stop moving she might die so i walked up to where her head is and whispered softly “kick cancers butt” they opened the door to the operation room and a nurse said I can go any further so i started walking toward Kenna’s room and I started singing don’t take the girl by Tim McGraw “the baby is doing fine but his mama’s fading fast and I hit my knees and here I prayed take every breath you gave me take the heart from my chest but god please don’t take the girl.” about 5 other people joined me I started to cry.

“Taylor where are you.” my mom said with a terrified voice “I’m right here, Can I ask you something mom?” “yes what is it sweetie.” “Where is Dad, did he die?” “Oh Taylor I wish I could give you an answer that but…..” I cut her off and said “ WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE AN ANWSER, I’m sorry for yelling but I look at Kenna and her mom and dad where here when she broke her finger but only you were here when I broke my leg and bruised a rib, I have never been to a father daughter dance because I only have a mom I might have a dad but you know I have never met him.”  “Well your dad, right before you were born your dad went in to the army and he sent me a letter once a month but then 1 month I didn’t get one and then i didn’t get one the next month and never got one again.” “Mom I’m so sorry.” “No I’m sorry for not telling you about your dad.” 

“Hey um you and Kevin went in to war together right?” “Yeah why?” said Mike Taylor's dad’s best friend) “well he did come home right because his daughter was wondering about him.”  “Yeah he’s living with me why did you not see the letter he  sent you that said he was coming home?” “OH MY GOD NO I DIDN”T so he got off the plane and looked all over for me and his daughter and called for us everywhere?” “Yeah he did and he said that  he went to the house that you lived in and you weren’t there the house was vacant and had a welcome home sign on it, so he just walked in and welcome home is some way of getting people to like the house that a relater slogan". "Well tell him to come to Jakup elementary school on friday at 2:15 PM don’t be late or you will miss seeing his own daughters first dance recital tell him not to miss it okay!”

 

Friday 2:00 PM 

"Everyone take your seats well unless your in the back then stand away ha ha ha ha don’t you get it I do *stand up* comedy” Mrs.Libby (the dance coach) said with a sorta laughing voice. since my mom is a good sport she stood up and started laughing as loud as she could just to make Mrs.Libby happy.

After the recital my mom was saying "where is that son of a……” some man cut her off and said “which one is ours?” he said with a big smile mom turned around and said “KEVIN, BABY I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!” as my mom and this Kevin guy kissed and I don’t know how they did it that long I mean how long can they hold there breath. Mom pointed at me and said to Kevin “That our baby girl over there by the mirror.” so  this Kevin guy went up to me and said “So I here that you never met your dad.” “Yeah I saw you kissing my mom.” I said  with a lot of sass “Well  did you know that your mommy is my wife?” “Um no but that means that you are my my my….” he finished my sentence for me “ That means I’m your dad.” Well nice to meet you.” Is what I whispered in his ear when we hugged.

“Where’s Taylor I’m not going into another surgery without herring from her.” said Kenna with a serious voice  *RING RING RING* My moms phone went off and all I heard was Kenna’s mom yelling “GET TAYLOR HERE NOWW.”

I opened the door to Kenna’s room and all I see is the doctor trying to get Kenna to agree to go in to surgery “NO I”M NOT GOING UNTIL TAYLOR  GETS HERE.” “Kenna I’m here don’t worry I won’t let anything happen and guess what I met my dad at the recital.” WELL THATS GOOD FOR YOU BUT I’M FINE JUST TRYING NOT TO LET GO, Taylor come here.”  I got my ear to her mouth and she said “Don’t tell anyone but I love you so good bye.”

“Taylor whats wrong why are you crying?” asked my  dad with a serious voice “Nothing you can help with.” Tay said with the longest sigh ever.

dad reached over and put his arm around me and said I’m so sorry that I wasn't here for you at all and I understand if you don’t like me yet but give me a chance please.” “What do you mean give you a chance I love you.” Then why are you so sad please tell me.”   “I JUST CAN”T I’m so sorry but I just can’t.” I ran up the stairs with tears running down my cheeks and I slammed my bedroom door shut then locked it., I ran in my closet and found one of her Kenna's and put it on with a pair of my baggie sweat pants. I curled up with a book and it isn’t just a book it is me and Kenna’s memory book I cried as i flipped every page.

The phone rang down stairs and all I heard was mom saying “are you sure.” mom told me put your shoes on were going out.

"Why are we at the hospital, were not going to see Kenna right.” “If I said no that would be a lie.” Taylors mom explained. “Dad will you carry me I feel to sad to walk.” “Yeah if you tell me why you are sad.” “Kenna said goodbye.” I started crying some more. Dad brought me into the recovery room and right behind Kenna’s mom was Kenna in a wheel chair. “KENNA KENNA YOU SCARED ME SO BAD.” “I will tell you why in a little while, I love you so much please don’t tell people I was going to give up if you cared please don’t tell my mom and dad.” “Okay but tell me why you were I went in my room and prayed for you and asked god why did he think you weren’t good enough for this world please just tell me why.” “Not right here.” “Then where I’m going to come over tonight so tell me then okay.” Yeah”

“No thank you I’m good I don’t want any water Mrs.Richardson.” I said

“so Kenna wanna tell me now?” “Okay so I had this dream one time and It was picture day and right before Sara’s picture was taken there was a fire.” I cut her off “But you do know that is what actually did happen right it wasn’t a dream.” “Then why did I live it twice hmmm?” said Kenna with a sarcastic voice   

“Okay then maybe you did know that, but what does that have to do with this?”

“I had a dream and I didn’t beat cancer and since the first dream came true then I thought that this one would to.”

RING RING RING the phone went off Mr.Richardson came in and said "Taylor its for you.” “Hello  who is this?” “come to the house asap.” said Paten "OK YOU KNOW WHAT ELES WOULD I DO AT 1 A.M .” “you will get to meet someone new.” I rushed to the house I ran there and told Mr.Richardson to call if anything happens to Kenna.

“I’m here mom who called me at 1 A.M.” “It is no big deal but I just thought you would want to meet your sister since you got to meet your dad but I’ll tell her that she can go back to college.” Mom said “ No no no I want to meet her, So where is she, and whats her name and what color hair does she…” Mom cut me off “ Why don’t you go in her room and find out for yourself. I walked in a room that I had never noticed before. “Hello I’m.” she cut me off "I know who you are I knew what your name was before you did.” “Oh yeah your my sister you already know me I just don’t know you.” Taylor said “Well I’m Paten you honestly don’t remember me?” Paten said with a sad voice. “I’m sorry I’m trying really hard and I can’t remember.” “Its okay I probably wouldn’t remember me either after…..” Mom cut her off “SHHHHHHHHUT UP.” “Mom you never told her I thought you were going to be honest with her.” Paten said with a disappointed change in voice.”Never told me what?” I asked with a somewhat scared voice as man walked in the room. “Daddy.” Paten ran up to the man, “Daddy, This isn’t our dad.” I said confusedly “what do you mean baby I have always been your dad.” said the strange man  as he pulled out his wallet and opened a compartment in it to a ton of picture “see.” he showed me one of him holding me in the hospital, “Whats going on I’m so confused,  Then wheres David?” Taylor asked “Oh honey David is dead" “No I saw him like 3 days ago I saw you kiss him at my recital and I know that was when he told me he was my dad not this guy, How old is he anyway he looks like he would be dating Paten.” said Taylor “Um what has gotten into you I have always been your dad and I’m not liking this girl your turning into.” said the strange man who is trying to be my dad. “I just need some sleep can I just have some alone time.

*Dear diary so this man is trying to say he’s my dad and last thing I remember is that I said dad (David)I love you don’t leave me ever again, and now i have some random guy who looks maybe 20 or 21. I’m so confused I just want everything to go back to normal.*

I couldn’t sleep so I snuck down the stairs and went to get some water and something to munch on, as I go over to the fridge to get a yogurt that guy, well my dad people have been telling me   was leaning up agents the side of the fridge and made me droop my glass of water thus the glass cup to shatter on the cold tile floor. “Wow chill out Tay.” “Yeah don’t call me that my family and friends say that not people I barely know.” “You know who I am not stop being a little liar and just embrace the fact that I am you dad.” “Why should I except a lie, Huh to me that doesn’t sound like a good idea.” I ran up the stairs trying to get away from him I dashed threw the hall grabbed my cell phone and called Kenna RING RING RING her phone went off “Kenna I’m coming over after school.” “So your going to Kenna’s tomorrow, need me to bring you home?” I dropped the phone it fell on the floor I said with a hushed voice as I rocked my self back and forth on the floor I’m never alone am I.

My mom came up to me and asked me “Are you okay? You look hot.” 

“I don’t know whats going on I.” I didn’t Finnish what I was saying. I said “Mommy?" as my vision blurred and I got all weak and fell to the floor and the last thing that I remembered that my head hit the floor and never got up I.

Three Months later 

 

I still couldn’t see a thing my eyes were looking in to something white and I didn’t know what it was but I still couldn’t open my eyes and I couldn’t hear anything. Sometimes if I was really good I would hear some people talk to me and then everyone in a while I would go and get sick from being moved fast like everything was happening before I new it one second I was being told you can do it, Then the next I hear is were losing her.

I just wanna be able to knowing whats going on.

I couldn’t help but here many people say my name so I try so hard to open my eyes and Just couldn’t so every day I got just a little closer to opening them. Someone said my name I sat up and opened my eyes and Everything was white I couldn’t tell anything apart and I looked over and saw my sister that had died when she was 1 year old she said “Pst come on” I fowled her as we walked to a man and he said “Are you okay?” he came up to me and gave me a hug.

“To be honest  no, no I’m not I don’t know what to do I’m scared and confused and I’m in pain bad bad pain.”

“It’s okay baby girl, If you just let go and stop trying it won’t hurt anymore.

“Who are you?” I said as I backed into a wall as he followed.“You don’t remember me.” “No who are you?”

“I am your dad.”

“Wow how original your the third person who said that. I just wanna know who is my real dad I wanna be able to trust someone, I wanna be able to say daddy I love you and know that is my dad.”

“Well how could I prove to you I’m your real dad?” 

“I don’t know tell me something that I only my real dad would know. Something that I would no I only remember form up to the age of 1 sorry that might just be a tad hard to do.”

“Well How about the day you let your first tooth you were almost 2 years old and loved the color pink you said that if there wasn’t enough tincle on the christmas tree it would die and every time that you lied a fairy died so You never told a lie.” I ran up to him threw my arms around his neck and gave him a hug and said with tears coming down my cheeks. “Its you it truly is you.” “Yes its me. Um so whats going on why are you here?”

“Well I don’t know where is here and what happened to me the thing that mom didn’t want me to know?’ I said as I was wiping away my tears. “Well when you were 9 me and you were on our way home from the airport. Someone came onto our side of the road and I didn’t know it and we crashed you were in a coma for 7 years and just came out of it almost half a year ago.” “And what happened to you?” “Well darling I died, I had no say in if I stay in this world or if I was going to be taken out. The car hit and broke my ribs and destroyed my lungs I was dead before the ambulance came.” “But daddy then what happened to me cause I’m not close to 5 years old any more. I’m 14 now and I’m going to be honest with you what ever happened to me cause me to have so many problems.” “Baby you were in a coma for about 5 years, you cam out of it when you were 10.” “Are you for real I missed 10 years of my life and I wasn’t doing anything I missed the big two digest birthday party. But I don’t know any more because I remember every party I have ever had but not for under the age of 5, Why?”

“Baby we don’t have much time you have to choses if you wanna stay with me and your aunt or me and your mom?” “ Wait thats not my mom that I have been living with?” “ no your mom was trying to stay with you all night and the guard pushed her up against a wall and your mothers bones are all weak her ribs were shattered and she had internal bleeding every where her lungs were bruised and there was no way she would have ever recovered.She knew that she would never get better so she went into your room and gave you a kiss on the head and said I love you but I have to go your my whole world I know you would want me to stay here with you and I would love to stay with you and help you threw this world but If you knew what I felt right now you would wanna levee to  I love you so much. I started to cry a little “What if I don’t choose what will happen where am I?” “Sweet hart you have to decide now before I go.” “Daddy I wanna see mommy but what do I do? I wanna say goodbye first.” I said with tears coming down my cheeks. he came and went on one knee and wiped my tears and said “Baby I want you to decide what to do, If you wanna stay with me your mom and little sister and brother then give up just don’t hold on anymore don’t try just let go.” “How do I do that?” I asked while he Vanished.

So now your all caught up. So I’m trying to see if I should stay in this world I was in a coma and my friend never had cancer, I don’t know if thats my real dad I don’t remember, I don’t know who my mom is I didn’t know that I had a baby brother and sister. All I know is that I’m half dead and I get too choose if I stay on this earth with many more obstacles to go threw and have mean names and  get treated differently and never be the same again, Or end it all right here and right now make it so I can meet my mom and dad and brother and sister.

I’m thinking and thinking and I finally thought well I’m going to die someday but not today I want to go to prom and college and I wanna have kids and tell them my story. I sat on the ground and thought I can do this I’m going to do it I’m going to make it.

 

Two Days Later 

“Haha mommy stop it its to funny.” I said with a big laugh “Lalal!!!” my Aunt said with a silly face.We both got distracted and didn’t see it until it was to late we went head on in to an oil truck. I got thrown out of the windshield and  had a 4 degree burn on my face and chest you could see my ribs.I was dead before my aunt said anything. I saw my self lying on the ground not saying anything or moving, I was rising up out of my body.

I saw everything that day from the beginning and end of life everything that I had ever done was rift before my eyes. There was only one thing I wish I could have done I wanted to say goodbye to Kenna.

 

I saw my mom and dad brother and sister we were all a family for once and nothing would separate us, well not until it happened.