Unexpected Loss

I loved waking up happy, not having to worry about getting to school on time because I was living in it. I loved waking up and looking through my window to enjoy the beautiful snow blanket that covered my school. Living with my best friends for a year in a boarding school is one of the best experiences that I have ever had. I can’t thank my parents enough for sending me to Canada.   It changed my life completely. Everything was going great; I didn’t expect anything to go wrong.

             Everyday after study time, which was from 7 pm to 9pm, I would spend my nights chilling with my two best friends in the whole wide world, Elma and Gaby. Sometimes, best friends are so alike, you could say they’re the same person; not in this case though. They have their similarities but they have mostly differences, and that’s what makes us three perfect best friends. Elma’s hair was blonde and straight down her back. Gaby’s hair was dark brown like a chocolate cake, and long heavy curls hanged from the back of her head. Every time I went in Elma’s room, I would see that nothing was out of place, every time she used something she would put it back naturally, she was a clean freak. I shared a room with Gaby, and Gaby is not very well organized. Gaby and I were really lazy, so our room was the majority of the time, a disgusting mess. I could be organized when I wanted to, but Gaby was always messy. I was a mix of them both. I’m kinda gullible, but not as much as Gaby. “Hey, I saw a ghost in the hallway last night, did you see it too?“ I asked her once as I was dying of laughter in the inside.

         “Umm… No I didn’t see it. Stop scaring me, it’s not true.“ Gaby said in a trembling voice.

         “Yes it is! I saw it too.“ Elma would always go along.

         “Oh my God, I have to call my mom and tell her! I can’t live in a place with ghosts!“ Gaby screamed as she searched for her phone

         “No!“ Elma and I screamed at the same time. “It’s not true Gaby“ We would always reply back laughing our heads off. Gaby never got mad and she would always join the laughter, but sometimes, Elma would be the one joining our laughter.

          “Elma! Stop doing your homework and come chill with us,“ I would say.

         “No! I need to finish this for the day after tomorrow and it’s really hard“ she replied with a worried voice as her fingers flew across her keyboard.

         “You can finish it tomorrow, stop worrying so much. You are an exceeding student, you can’t get a grade below 95.“ Gaby said in a jealous voice as she rolled her eyes at her.

          “Fine, I’ll join. But if I get a 0 on this, it’s on you.“ She threatened.

          If we didn’t eat anything at dinner, we would always go to the kitchenette and make Mexican soup. Elma would always make it while I cut the ingredients and Gaby just watched. The boarding staff would always laugh at our laughter. My favorite boarding staff was Ms. Sutton, and I miss her so much. She had a beautiful voice. Goosebumps would come rushing down our bodies as our ears listened. Ms. Sutton would always find a way to make us cry of laughter. She was petite and skinny, and she was so pretty. She was always nice to me, and I could always trust her. I especially loved her because she would always help me sneak food into my room. Ms. Sutton was always there when I needed her the most.

            Elma, Gaby and I were in my room after study time on a cold March night. I had my computer open on Facebook but I wasn’t using it. I remember that all of us were laughing so hard we almost peed ourselves. Suddenly I heard that I got a new Facebook message. It’s probably my mom asking if I finished my homework. When I opened my computer, I saw that I was right it was my mom. I opened it and saw that it said “Carla, your grandfather just passed away. We’re in the hospital and dad is on his way from the airport“. The moment I read those awful words, I could feel my heart just tearing apart, as if someone was cutting it with a really sharp knife. I had never felt that much pain in my life. I felt warm tears running down my cheeks, my hands sweating and shaking uncontrollably, but my face was blank. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t think. Elma and Gaby looked over my shoulder and saw the message; they instantly hugged me and stayed silent. After a while, I could hear them saying words but I couldn’t figure out what they were saying. I had too many thoughts going on in my mind. I couldn’t believe I didn’t say goodbye. I felt my chest burning with anger, I was going back for spring break in 7 days, and I was going to miss the funeral. I felt so alone; nobody understood what he meant to me. He was an idol not only for me, but also for everybody that knew him. He did so many things in his life; I could say he had the best life anyone could ask for. I almost didn’t believe he was dead; he had the best physical condition. He was an alpinist, skier, singer, dancer, swimmer, gymnast, EVERYTHING. I joined the school's gymnastics team in his honor, and dedicated my floor routine to him, he taught me everything I know about it. I had a gymnastics competition the next day and I didn’t think I could do it unless people wanted me to break out crying in the middle of the routine. Suddenly, I heard the door open and saw that it was Ms. Sutton with Elma and Gaby standing behind her, they were all trying to show a smile. Ms. Sutton walked slowly to me, stopped, and then hugged me. Her hugs were the best kind, the ones where you feel safe and sound, like if nobody can hurt you. I felt myself being hugged by a big fluffy bear, and that’s what I needed the most at the time. “I heard what happened,“ she said in a soothing voice.

         “I want to go home“ I replied. I had never heard myself more childish in my life. I imagined myself when I was a kid saying, “I want my mommy.“ I almost felt embarrassed.

         “It’s okay, I understand. Carla, you go home in 7 days, at least you’re lucky that you’re going to see everyone then.“ I know, but 7 days is too much. I need to go home now.

         “Carla, do you believe in God?“ She asked as she stared at me.

         “My family is Catholic, but this year I started having a lot of questions. About 20 minutes ago, I was pretty sure that I didn’t believe, but the only reason that made me want to believe again is my grandpa. I need to see him, and the only way that’s happening, is if I go to Heaven. So I do believe.“ Those words came out directly from my heart.

         “I’m so glad you do believe Carla. God has a new angel up there, who is taking care of you from above. God chooses his strongest warriors for his toughest fights, and you’re one of them.“ She whispered back.

          “But I’m only 13! Why did God do this to me, I don’t deserve it, and neither does my family.“ I snapped back as I felt another cascade of tears coming my way.

“I know you think that you’re not strong enough, but you are. Now, I want to see a smile on your face by the end of the week okay? I know how hard it is for you, so don’t even worry about school and your gymnastics competition tomorrow.“ I felt relief rushing down my body and spoke for the first time to thank her and Elma and Gaby. She told Elma and Gaby to sleep in my room for support before she left, both agreed.

            I had two days of complete loneliness. I felt a big hole inside of me that was never going to get filled. “Carla, are you okay?“ Elma and Gaby would whisper into my ear as they stared at me with a worried look. They came up to boarding in Break and Lunch and brought me snacks. Every once in a while, anger would rush through me like lava traveling rapidly down a volcano because my mom didn’t want to send me back earlier to go to the funeral. She didn’t understand me, and I needed closure. I loathed Canada so much, I never felt so homesick in my life. Why can’t I go home?

  Elma interrupted my thoughts while she said, “You need to get out of bed and go out, get some fresh air. Staying here won’t make things better.“

         “Going out won’t make things better either.“ I replied angrily as I stared at the plain, white wall.

          “Fine, be that way. Sorry for being an amazing friend and trying to help you.“

         “No, don’t be. I’m sorry I’m like this, I don’t do it on purpose. Just give me time and tomorrow after school we can go to a manicure in The Ville.“

         “Its okay, don’t worry. By the way, we’re going to the Capocaccia tomorrow. Gaby you and I, so don’t make any other plans.“ Elma said with a happier look. A bigger smile appeared in my face as she was leaving. I realized what great friends they were, and that they were practically my family.

            What happened in Canada changed me completely. Sometimes we might feel alone, but we never are. There are people who care about you and will be there for you, even though they’re not your family. I had the amazing opportunity to live by myself and I’m extremely thankful for that. Today I am thankful for all of my friends and family because they are there when I need them. I learned how to be strong, and think positive for every bad situation. I wish I could go back to Canada soon.