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Every orphan asks themselves the same question, “Why did my parents put me up for adoption?” I have asked myself ever since I was here. Today will be my 6th year I was dropped off at the orphanage in New York. When I was three I was dropped off here. And now I was nine.

“EMILY!!” I heard from downstairs.

I quickly jumped off the bay window dashed to my bed as quietly as I could so Ms.Bay would not hear me. Then I quickly grabbed the book from Riley’s bed, flopped onto my bed open to a page and started staring at the first word on the page intensely and tried reading it.

  Ms.Bay walked in then looked at me with hands on her hips.  Ms.Bay was in charge of two others rooms including ours which were filled with sixteen kids each. She was 21 even though she looked like she was in highschool with how skinny and short she was. And she always had the perfect amount of makeup and the cutest matching outfits. But we, on the other hand had to wear the same thing every day (stupid uniforms)it was a long sleeve white shirt folded at the the end of the sleeve , Navy blue and red  striped flannel dress with tights, white sock lased at the top and black leathered shoes. The outfit looks like a common private school outfit. Which doesn’t surprise me. Since this is an abandoned four story (with a basement) private school. When they saw a bigger, better school. The school board  choose that so they could charge more and put in new things like archery, swimming, tennis, and ice skating.


  “Um”,  Ms.Bay said again hands still on her hips, “ you should be outside at recess. And why are you reading a cookbook I thought you were not interested in cooking,” she said sitting on the end of the bed. I laid the book back where it was supposed to be and stood up so I was no longer laying down but sitting.

“I have no one to talk to or play with,” I said looking straight at the floor.

“You can always talk to me and there is no excuse for not wanting to talk or play with anyone, since the whole orphanage is down there,” she sighed “I know the Carly thing has  made you sad but it’s time to move on and make new friends.”

I kept looking at the floor she was right. Carley, was a girl here that I became really good friends with. We were together for 5 years then one day on visiting Wednesday. A young couple came in and saw us playing through the windows. Every wednesday, they would come back with cupcakes, coloring books and crayons, and a bunch of other goodies. By that time I started noticing that they weren’t here for both us. They were here for Carley they would always make sure she was ok and if everything was fine. Until, one day  when they decided to adopt her. I still couldn’t believe even though I saw it coming the only thing I had was taken away. But she was my friend so I couldn’t feel upset.When she left she promised to visit and she did for three weeks until she moved away. It has been two months now and every time I think about it makes me want to cry.

“Okay, the truth is I do miss her but I didn’t go down to recess because of that. I have been really tired lately,” I said and that was the truth and Ms.Bay knew that by the look on my face.

“What’s wrong? Is everything alright?  Lately you have been pretty tired have you been sleeping late,” she asked worried.

“I know I have been sleeping well but sometimes it’s hard for me to get out of bed and I get really tired sometimes,” I said this time looking at her.

“All right this time you can stay up here but, next time here come outside and get some fresh air,” she felt my head “ You  might be getting a fever even though your head doesn’t feel that hot, get some rest we have 30 more minutes left of recess,” I laid down and Ms.Bay helped me tuck in then, she bent down and gave me a kiss on the forehead (I could smell makeup and Ms. Bay favorite scent SOHO Nights.) and then I was out.


When I woke up I saw everyone was in bed wearing their white night gowns. Ms. Bay came in gave me a smile and rang the tiny bell    “Ding-a-Ding Ding-a-Ding” it was time to get up. Had I been asleep that long?


Brooklyn came over and chirped up

“ Good morning sleepy head,”  then laughed. She was the closest friend I had here.


I yawned and said “I’m Tired,” She gave me a confused look and said

“How can you still be tired if you slept since 5:00,” I shrugged. I started to make my bed when I heard my stomach rumbling. I have not eaten anything since lunch ended and our 3:00 snack.


Everyone was rushing to the showers. A typical Wednesday thing. Wednesdays are the days people in the adoption process come (or random other people to see us). Everyone always got super excited. Me on the other hand didn’t care I’ve been here long enough to know that they shoot for the youngest and prettiest girls. They usually brought things for certain girls they were thinking to adopted.


After my turn in the shower. I practically ran downstairs, I was so hungry. Thank goodness today was waffles my favorite. I wasn’t a big eater so to start with I got a waffle some strawberries and milk. You would have thought I could have eaten more since I was so hungry but I was fine.


Finally, They took us all to the visitor area just like always. It used to be a gym but instead they have rows of white tables with seats along both sides. All the girls sit on one side and the visitors walk around or sit on the other end to get to know us meanwhile we’re coloring,reading, or playing. I usually never get visitors at our table sometimes it’s not even for me but the people beside me. I was coloring away drawing a flower and a couple came to sit. It was a young lady with brunette hair, glasses, and she looked like a teacher. The young man had brown hair, dimples, and wore a little pair wings on his left shoulder which meant he was a pilot. As they sat down the gave ear to ear smiles. I gave a small smile back. It was pretty quiet as they watched me, Brooklyn, and Megan.


“Hi,” The lady told us. “I’m Stefhanie and this is my husband Emmet. What’s your names?”,


 I looked at the other girls who had not said anything and then calmly said

“Hi, I’m Emily,” They smiled.

“Nice to meet you Emily,” Emmet kindly said. I gave a quick smile and went back to drawing. And they went back to watching us. Sometimes I would look up and they would look at me with a warm smiles then whisper about something.


After the visit, Brooklyn ran up to me. And screamed

“They liked you,” She screamed.

“What? Who are you talking about?” I asked curiously

“The young couple I saw them they were  talking to Mrs. Abigail,”She explained.


Mrs. Abigail was the one in charge of the orphanage and adoptions.

And even if they did talk to her there is hundreds of girls at this orphanage and they probably saw some else they liked but there was no chance it was me.

The next day, I had a bad fever. My throat hurt,my nose was running, and every time I got up I felt a little dizzy. Sometimes I would get what felt like small shooting pains up through my legs and arms.


Ms.Bay took me to the nurse. The nurse did some usual test such as taking my height, testing my reflexes and my weight. She looked at me and said I had lost some weight from 68 to 59.9. She asked me a lot of questions such as; “Have you been eating well? or “Have you been exercising?” I have not notice that I been losing weight the only time I do is when I exercise really hard. And I am not an athletic kind of person.

After that I got to sleep for awhile which made me happy and my pain started to become worse. My sickness didn’t go away till tuesday I had also lost another pound but the nurse  help me gain two back.


Once again it was wednesday, the pain had not gone away it had also started to hurt when I walk it was also hard to keep my weight up. But it was the same usual visiting day in the gym.


This time I was drawing my dream room. When I saw Stefhanie and Emmett they were walking towards us and Emmett was holding a bag.When they sat down.

He asked us

“Do you guys like cupcakes?”,

We nodded and grabbed a pink box from the bag.

“Do you guys like Vanilla?”, he asked pulling out five cupcakes and giving it to us as we nodded. After we said our “Thank you’s” and “You Welcomes” we had a bite. As I bit into the cupcake It reminded me of the time Carley’s parents brought us some making me feel like Emmet and Stefhanie were not here for me.We started talking about our favorite flavors, and colors and by the time we were all so into the conversation it was time to go.


Even though I have only seen them two times. I had kind of gotten use to them. That week wasn’t any better when I was at the nurse for my usual check ups I was weighing 57 and my pain ached so bad sometimes I almost could not get out of bed. Sometimes it felt like my legs snap as I was walking. And If I were to fall I’d cry or I was so tired I wanted to lay down on the the floor and fall asleep. Every few days I would go to the nurse but her and Bay would talk with watery eyes for a long time and then they would tell me that the pain had to deal with me growing up and handed me my disgusting flavor medicine.


But I was not dumb to know that they weren’t telling me the truth. The only thing I had on my mind since then is what did I really have? Why do I have pain?


Before I knew it, Emmett and Stefhanie came to me with excited looks. They also asked to sit at a table with me alone. (Visitors usually asked to but I never got chosen.)


 Once we were alone they started to talk.

“How would you like to come home with us,”Stefhanie asked excitedly.

My jaw dropped, my head ached or I was just really tired but I didn’t know what to believe. Was this a dream. I started to cry. Have I had never came across the thought I would be adopted by them. I shook my head as a sigh of yes and sobbed.

“I would love to,”

They looked at me with sad looking eyes.

“Now it might take a week or two get all the paper signed and ready. And then you can be ours,” She explained looking like she was about to cry herself. I asked lots of questions just like any girl does.

“Do you guys have pets?”, or “Where do you live?”, I asked. I asked so many questions I had lost track of time to go. When it was time to go to recess I gave them a big hug then walked back to Ms. Bay with a grin. She smiled at me, she must  have known all this time. Maybe that's why her eyes were watering she was probably sad to see me go.


I limped to recess because my legs ached so bad. Once I was at recess I decide to go to the swings and enjoy the fresh air. But I really needed to go to the bathroom. As I walked in it felt much cooler. The bathrooms where down the hall to the left I took a deep breath inhaling the thought that was quite a walk and I my legs would be killing me. Finally, I had reached the bathrooms. After that,I took a sip of water from the fountain before my long journey back.On my way back I saw Mrs. Abigail talking to Emmett and Stefhanie. They were at a table Stefhanie was crying. And Emmett was standing behind her. My heart sank, wondering what was wrong had I asked too many questions.


All of the sudden I saw them glance at me I didn’t want them to see me spying on me. I turn around as fast as I can and started to run. But all of the sudden it felt like my feet locked up and snapped. The next thing I knew it I was on the ground. And shooting pain came from my legs. I couldn’t help it but scream and cry in pain. The last thing I saw was Mrs.Abigail,Stefhanie, and Emmett running out of the room and Emmett picking me up.


When I woke up I saw Ms.Bay, Stefhanie, and Emmett with dark under eye circles and red eyes. Must had slept a lot again. My legs were sore and I still felt small shooting pains up my legs.


“What happened?”,I asked rubbing my eyes.

“You just slipped on something and you bumped your head hard you past out.”, she said in a worried look. She looked at the rest of them and nodded they started to leave.


“I have some good news you get to come home with us wednesday the 21st,” she said I thought to myself that’s one week from now. Exactly, 7 days from now.


“Why so soon I thought I had to wait at least a month,” I asked suddenly surprised.


“Something came up but that doesn’t matter the important thing is you get to come home with me earlier,” she added.


As I moved I felt something on my legs something hard,cold, and plastic with some velcro attached to it.


“What’s on my legs?”,I said uncovering myself from all blankets on me.


“It’s to help keep your balance that’s all,” she stated.

I nodded not quite believing her.

“I have to go to the bathroom,”I said not really needing to I just wanted to see what they had put on my legs and if I could fall.


As I turned to get up I felt my feet come down with a “Thud” they have become very heavy. And the pain started back up again as I stood up. I took small steps each one with their very own shoots of pain up through my thighs. I tried my best not to fall but it was kind of hard when your legs felt like they were going to snap. When I finally go to the door I quickly closed it behind me. When i made sure it was close I clasped to the floor. All of the sudden I saw my dress one or two inches away from my chest I was pretty sure you could see my ribs by now. And I felt like i had no force any more.


When I came back out everyone was in the room again. Once I was tucked into bed. They told me I would have to rest and eat healthy for a couple of days. I didn’t think that was very hard for me because I felt like that was the only thing I could do.


The next couple days was eat,sleep,eat,sleep. Walking hadn’t got any easier but harder. And at night my pain get even worse all I can do is scream and cry into my pillow. Ms. Bay will bring me tylenol, water, and sing to me.


On monday the pain had reached my body screaming and aching that’s all  I did. Ms.Bay would rush in and out trying to help me telling me everything was going to be alright. But by now I knew something wasn’t right.


On Tuesday,the pain went down a slight notch in the morning giving me a chance to pack up all my things and say good bye to my friends (and I teared up every now and then)


Emmet and Stephanie came and we talked about our big day tomorrow. Before my pain start up again. But this time it felt like it was on steriods.I could not handle it anymore. “AHAHAHAH,” I screamed.

It was like that all night. Finally, the last things I heard was the siren of an ambulance. The last thing on my mind was that I never go to know what I really had and I never go to had a real family. The last shooting pain I got was the one before I heard the sound of the machine go “beeeeep”.

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