Graham Cronin

ADVENTURES IN TUMBLEWEED

1890

 

I was on the train to Tumbleweed, a new town, away from my wife.  A part of me was relieved not to have to eat her cooking for a while. I guess you could say I was here on a business trip, I was here to hunt down my best friend. I was here to collect his bounty of 10,000 dollars. I could hear the people in front of me talking. There was a man and his daughter, a woman and a priest. Finally the train stopped. I had only 38 dollars, it would have to do. I saw a ”vacancy” sign in front of the saloon. I asked the bartender about the room. He smelled of cheap booze and cigarettes, I was home. The bartender showed me the upstairs where there were four rooms, mine was the one on the very end. The next morning I realized I had to make some money; the rent on this place was not cheap. Downstairs I could hear an Irish voice, saying “Watch where you're pointing that thing Shaky!” A gunshot noise clouded the entire room. I ran downstairs, “DAMN IT, SHAKY!” The bartender was shot in the arm by a drunk irishman, great. The irishman was passed out on a table. I walked to the counter asking the bartender for some whiskey but I guess he wasn't in the mood. I had a job to do, but it could wait, how was I going to enjoy the beauty of this quaint little town. First things first, I had to make some money. Maybe the sheriff had some jobs. The sheriff’s office was poorly built, the windows were cracked and the door squeaked as I walked in. “Is there anything I can help you with sheriff?” “Well sure I guess. There's some rustlers in the hills and a drunk in the saloon.” “How about we go take down those rustlers in the hills?”  The sheriff snickered and said, “Ok.” We mounted our horses and rode off.  We were heading for Buffalo Hills. “This town is always being attacked by Roncho Poncho and Little Billy’s boys.”

“Who are we going after now?”

“Little Billy’s boys, Roncho Poncho mainly operates in Mexico, occasionally he comes over here.”

Buffalo Hills was mainly canyons, a perfect place to be ambushed. There was a little town and it looked abandoned.

“What happened, did anyone used to live here?” I asked

“Long time ago ever since they started building that railroad people moved out of Tumbleweed.  We don't get any visitors.  That's why I was surprised to see you.”

We searched the houses, nobody was there. Suddenly my ears were pierced by a deafening scream. Up on top of the canyon there were men with rifles. They had a girl with them.

“You should leave, there ain't nothin’ for you here.” they called down.

“We ain't goin’ nowhere.  You broke the law, I’ll see you hanged,” the sheriff yelled.

They took one shot at the sheriff and he started running away. He ran like nothing I’d ever seen before. We mounted our horses and rode back into town. This is how the law works, huh? I figured if the law wasn't going to help I had to rely on outlaws.  I suddenly remembered that Shaky fellow from the saloon. He was probably in the prison by now and all I had to do was break him out. I bought some lockpicks, and a bandana from the general store. I picked up a rock on my way to the sheriff’s office. As soon as I walked in, I threw the rock at the sheriff’s head before he could ask what I was doing there. Shaky was fast asleep and  I saw the keys in the sheriff’s pocket. I had to drag Shakey's unconscious body to my apartment. I tried slapping him and pouring a bucket of water on his head. Then finally the bartender downstairs said there was 50 percent off on all drinks and Shaky shot up like a bullet. I grabbed him while he was still sober.

“Shaky I’m looking for a man named Little Billy, heard of him?”

“Yes lad but he's no man to just go messing with, believe me, we're gonna need money, a lot of money.”

“How much?”

“Roughly 3,000 dollars.”

“3,000 dollars? Where do we get that kind of money?” I asked.

“The Tumbleweed Bank, I’m planning a heist and if you help me, I’ll help you with that fellow Little Billy.”

“Fine I’ll help you.”

“Great, we'll meet outside the bank in the morning.  Get some good night sleep,” Shaky said.

The next morning I found Shaky outside the saloon.

“Ya ready to do this thing?”

“I guess.  Explain to me how this helps me?”

“You help me get the money and I help you find Little Billy.”

Shaky had a rifle in one hand and dynamite in the other. We walked around to the side of the bank. Shaky planted the dynamite on the wall of the bank. We ran into a nearby gulch. Shaky had his rifle pointed at the dynamite.

“On the count of ten, ONE TWO TEN.”

He pulled the trigger nearly deafening me.

“Let's go!” Shaky shouted.

We ran into the gaping hole.  There were three safes, there were also three chests, luckily Shaky knew how to crack safes.

“Cover me while I work on this one lad.”

The area was flooded with civilians with guns and the sheriff, the marshal, and a couple of deputies. I fired a warning shot into the crowd, and they backed off.

“We’re screwed Shaky!”

“Not yet we aren't.”

Shaky got the first safe open and was working on the second one. I grabbed all the money from the first safe, there was at least 1,000 dollars in this safe. I took one shot at the people outside I realized I had hit the sheriff, the same sheriff I had helped. Shaky got the second safe open this one had 5,000 dollars in it. I heard a voice in the crowd of people

“The sheriff is down,  he’s dead.”

“Shaky are you almost done with that damn safe!?”

“All in good time my boy.”

“Are you insane!?”

“Quite possibly.”

The chests looked like I could kick them open. As I kicked it I realized it wasn't even locked.

“Shaky the chests aren’t locked!”

“What!”

“The chests they aren’t locked.”

“Well open ’em and grab everything you can.”

Each of the chests had 300 dollars. I grabbed the 900 dollars and put it on the horses plus 6,000 dollars from the safes. Shaky got the third safe open.

“What? This can't be, it's impossible.”

“What is it Shaky?”

“Its empty!” he said.

“Let’s go Shaky, we have enough.”

Shaky was frozen, I pulled him onto the horse and we rode off.

We rode to the outskirts of Buffalo Hill.

“This looks like a nice place to set up camp.” Shaky said.

We set up a tent and a campfire. We could see Tumbleweed in the distance.

“Well, we’re wanted men Shaky.”

“Not exactly.”

“What do you mean?”

He showed me a pardon letter he had stored in his pocket.

“We, my friend, are free men.”

I rested easy knowing that we would not be wanted for much longer.

In the morning we started riding back to Tumbleweed to hand in our pardon letter. The town looked the same as when I arrived a few days back, like nothing had happened. Shaky went to go turn in the pardon letter. I went back to the saloon got some whiskey and went back to my room.

The next morning, I found a note on the door It said “Dear stranger Little Billy will be in the woods this morning for some hunting I heard a man downstairs talking about how he was hunting a sasquatch.  He said that in the woods “lies a hairy devil.”

He said that he would pay 1,000 dollars to anyone who caught Bigfoot.  Now I’m not the kind of person who believes in these kind of things. But I thought I could find something that looked like a sasquatch, heck, he might think that a cow looks like a sasquatch, plus it give me a chance to find Little Billy and make a little money on the side, so I agreed to go with him.

“You go hunting for mythical creatures a lot?” I asked.

“What do you mean mythical?”

“Well creatures that have not been found.”

“That's not what mythical means, I will find a sasquatch.”

“Sorry if I offended you, I didn't mean anything by it.”

“Ah, its ok.”

“What's your name mister?” I asked

“John Doe.”

“Very funny, what's your real name.”

“John Doe.”

“Seriously, that's your real name?”

“Yep, that's the name my mother gave me.”

I must say there's nothing more peaceful than looking for a creature that doesn't exist. I could hear the leaves rustling.  I saw a human like shape in the trees. It was probably another hunter in the woods. We rode past a deer.  The deer was dead, not only dead but it looked like it had been ripped apart.  This was very strange, but John didn't seem to mind. I saw a man in the distance.  He looked like he could be Little Billy, as he got closer, I got a better look at him. It was Little Billy and his right arm was injured.

“Please, you gotta help me.” Little Billy said.

“Bill is that you?”

“You, it can't be you. You're dead.”

“Thanks to you, you left me to die.”

“Look, we can work things out when we get back to town, but right now we need to get out of here.”

“You ain't going nowhere Bill.”

“Please man, we gotta get out of here.”

I drew my gun and aimed it at Little Billy’s head.

“This is the end of the line for you, old friend.”

I pulled the trigger. There was a loud pop, it seemed louder than any other time I had shot my gun.  I felt hollow, like there was a hole in my gut. Then I saw a shape in the woods.  It was a sasquatch. John didn't even see it, he was too busy looking at Bill’s dead body.

“Come on John, let's go back.”

When we got back to town, I bought a train ticket back home.

THE END