Miscellany

To tliose who have never tried llie experiment, ihe management of a husband mny eeem n very easy mnt'er. 1 thought so once, but a few years hard expcrience has compellfd me lo change my mind. When I married Mr. Smilh, wliich was about ten years ago, I was not altogother blind to li is faults and peculiarities ; but then he h :d so mnry solid viriues ihat these were viewcd as minor considerations. Besides 1 flatiered myself that it would be the easiest thing in the world to correct vvhat was not exactly to my taste, lt is no matter of especial wonder that I should have erri-d in this, for Mr. Smilh, whüe a lover, really appeared to have no will of his own and no th.ought of himsclf. It was only nrcpsary for me to evpress a wish, and it was gratified. I soon found, much to my disappointment, that there is a marlcd difference í:ctwcen a husba.nd and a lover ; it was at least so in the case of Mr. Smith, and observation, since I have hac! my eyes open, sathfies me that it is so in most cases. There was a good many lifle thing in Mr. Smilh whioh I had not noticed before mnrriagi, tliat I made up my mind to correctas soon as I had an opportunity to apply the proper means. He had a fashion of saying "Miss" fcr "Mrs.," as "Mjss Jone.s" and "Miss Peiers" for "Mis. Jones" and "Mis. Peiers." Thü, sounded exceedingly vulgar to my ears, and I waited almost impat:ently for the time to co.ne when I could use tha prerogative of a wife for its conection. He had an ungrncefu! way of Iounging in his chair and half reclining on the sofa, even In company, that was terrible. It made me uneasy from head to foot. Then he said, "I shew it to him" for "I showed it to him"- "often" for "ofi'n"- and obleeged" for "obliged." Resides these there were sundry other things (hal worried me not a 1 i Ulo. Dut I consoled myself with the reflection that when I becnme Mrs. Smith all these litlle matters would vanish like frost in thp sunshine. I was, also, doomed to be mistaken ; but let me give my e.vperience for the benefit of those who are to come i.fter me. We had been married just ten days, nnd I began to feel that I was really a wife, nnd had a right to say and do a little as I pleased, when Mr. Smilh said to me when we sat quite lover-like on the sofa in the evening, 'I met Miss Williams as I carne home this evening' 'For mercy's sake, Mr. Smith! don't say Miss when you speak of married women. It is excessively vulgar.' 1 was not aware that I had spoken in a very offensive way, but I noticed an instant change in Mr. Smith. He replied with some dignity of tone nnd manner, 'I ask your pardon, madam : but I did n't say Miss. I am not quite so ignorant as all that comes to.' 'Oh, yes, Mr. Smith, but you did say il,' 1 replied, quite astonished at this unexpected denial. 'Excuse me for saying that you are in error,' hn returned drawing himself up. '1 never say Miss for Mrs.'' 'Why Mr. Smitl) ! You ahvays say t. I have noticed it a hundred times. I believe I can heat1 pretty correctly.' 'In this inslancc you certainly have not.' Mr. Smith was growing warm, and I feit the blood rushing to my face. A rather tart reply was on my lips, but I bit tliem hard nd succeeded in keeping them closed. this Mr. Smith was very particular in saying, when he spoke of a married woman to me, Misse. The empha sis on the second svllable was mueh too strongly mnrked lo be pleasant on my ears. I was terribly afraid he would say 'Mistress,' thus going off into the opposite extreme of vulgariiy. This first attempt to put my husband straight had certainly not been a very pleasant one. He had shows, unexpectedly lo me, a humor th;it could by no means be called amiable ; and by which I was both gn'eved and asloni.shed. I made up my mind Ihat I would be very careful in future how I tried my hand at reforming him. But his oft rppeated ;he shew it to me,' and 'obleeged,' soon fretted me so sorely that I was forced to come down upon him again, which I did at a time when I feit more than usually annoved. I cannot remember now precisrlv what I said to him, but I know that I pul him into an ill-htimor, and that it wascloudv ther in the house for a week, allhoogh the sun shone brighlly enougli out of doors. Ilis "shew it to me," and "obleeged," were, hovvever, among the (hings that had bepn, after that. So much was gnined ; although the re were tirr.es when I half snspected that I had lost more ihan I had gained. But, I persevered, and, ecry now and then, when I got 'worked op' about something, administered the rod of corrcrtion. Gradual! y I could see tliat my htisband was chnnging, and, as I feit, for the worse. Scarcely a year had passed before he would get nlo a pet if I suid tha least word to liim. He couldn't benr anything f rom me. Still I feit by no menns inclined to give h!m up ; was by no menris disposed to lel bien lvive his own way. - It was clear to noy mind that I had rights ns well ns lie had : and I possessed resolution ennugh to be ready to maintain them. His self will and indiffèrence to my wishes rousod in me a bitter and contentious spirit; and, n an evil hour, I detennined that I would make a struggle for the mastery. An opportunity was not longdelayed. The Philharmonic Society had annnunced one of its splendid conforts. A lady friend, who liad frequently altenríed these concert.-:, callee! in to see itip, and, by what she said, filled me with a desire to enjoy ihe fine musical treat that had been announced for thal very evening. When Mr. Smith carne home at t] inner ho said, before I had timo to mention the concert - 'Mnry, I have taken n frncy to go and seo Fanny Ellsler to-night, nnd as there will be no chance of getting a good seat this afternoon, I took the precaution to procure tickets as I came home to dinnor. I would have sent llie por!er with a uo'.c to know whother there wns any hing to prevent going to-night, but he has been out all the morning, and I concluded tha', even if ihere should be some süght impediinent in the way, you could easily set it aside.' Now this I thouglii too mocil. To go and buy tickets to see Fanny Ellsler dance, and take it for granted ihat 1 would 1-iy evcry thing aside to go, when 1 hnd setmy heart on altending the Philharmonic Concert ! 'You are a strange man, Mr. Smilh,' I said. 'You oughi to know that I don't care a fig about seeing Fanny Ellsler. I don't relish such kind of performances. You at least might have waited until you come home to dinner and asked the question. I don't believe a word about the good seatsall being taken this morning. But il just like you ! To go and see this dancer toss her feet about was a thing you had mnde up your mind to do, and l was to go along whether I liked it or not.' 'You talk in rather a strange wav, Mis. Smith,' said my husband, evidently offended. 'I don't see that I do,' replied 1, warming. 'The fact is; Mr. Smiih, you seem to take it for granted that I am nobody. - Fiere Tve been making all my calculations to go to the Philharmonic to-night, and you come with tickets Tor the theatre. But I can teil you plainly ihat I am nol going to see Fonny Ellsler, and ihat 1 am going to the Philharmonic.' This was taking a stand that I never had taken before. In most ol' my effbrts to make my husband go my way, he had suceeeded in making me go bis wav. This nlwnys chafed me dreadfully. I fretted and scolded, and 'all that sort of thing,' but it was of no use, I could not mannge him. The direct issue of 'I I wont' 8nd 'I will' had not vet been mnde, and I was some tima in coming to the resolution to liave a struggle fiercer than ever for the ascendency. I fondly believed that for peace sake he would not stand firmif he saw tne resolute. Under tliis view of the case t made the open averment that I would not go to the theatie. I e.vpected that a scène would fol!ow, but I was mistaken. Mr. Smitli did, indeed, open his eyes a little wider but hesaid nothirg. Just then the bell announced that dinner was on the table. Mr. Smith arose and led the way to the dinner table with a firm step. Before we weie tnarried he would not have dreamed of thus preceding me ! I was fretted at this little net. It indicated too plainly wliat was in the man. Dinner passed n silence. I forced myself to eat tliat I might appear unconcerned. On rising from the lable Mr. Smith left the house without saying a word. You may suppose I didu't feel very comfbrtaüle during tho anemoon. I had laken my stand, and my intention was to maintain it to the last. That Mr. Smith would y cid I liad no doubt at first. But asevening approached, and the trial-time drew near, I had some misgivings. Mr. Smith carne home early. 'Mar}',' he said, in his usual pleasant way, 'I have ordered a carriage to be here nt half past seven. We mustn'i leave home later, as the cuitain rises at eight.' 'What curtain rises? Where do you tliink of going V 'To see Fanny Ellsler of course. I mentioned to you at dinner time that I had tickels.' This was said very calmly. 'And I loíd you at dinner time that 1 was going to the Philharmonic and not to see til is dancer.' í iried to appear as composed as he was, but f'ailed in the atlempt nltogether. 'You were a ware tliat I had tickets for thp theatre before you said that,' was the cold answer he made. 'Of course I was.' 'Very well, Wary. You can do as yon like. The carriage. will be here at half past seven. If you are then ready to go to the theatre, 1 shall be happy to have your company.' And my husband, after saying tlii-s with a most unrufflec! manner, politely bowed and reiired to the parlor. 1 was on fire. But I had no thought of yiclding. At halt past seven I was ready. 1 heard the carriage drive up to the door anr! the bell ring. 'Mary,' called my husband at the bottom of the sitaircae, in a cheerful tone, 'are you ready V 'Rearly to go where V I asked on descrnding. 'To the thcat:e.' 'I am ready for the concert,' I answered in as composed a voice as 1 could assume. 'I am nol going to the concert to-night, Mrs. Snnitli. I thought you understood that.' firmly replied my husband. 'I am going to see Fanny Ellsler. If you will go with me 1 sliall be very liappy to have your company. If not I must go alone.' 'And I am going lo the Philr.arinonic. I thought you understood that,' I replied, with equal resolution. 'Oh ! very wel],' he said, not sceming to be at all disturbed. Then you can use the carringe at the door. I will walk to the thoutre.' Sáying this, Mr. Smith turned from me deliljerately and walked away. I hpfird hiin teil the driver of the carringe to take me to the Musical Fund Hall ; then I heard the si reet door cióse, aud then I heard my husbnnd's foots'.eps on ihe pavement as he left the house. - Without hesitating a moment for reflec(ion, I foliotred to the door, entered the carriagp, and ordered the man to drive me - where l 1 had no ticket for the concert ; nor could I go alone ! 'To the Musical Fund Hall, I believe, mndam,' he said, standing with his fingers touching the rm of his lint. I tried to think what I should do. To be conquered was hard. And it was clear ihat I could not go alono. 'No,' I replied, grasping hold of the fust suggestion that came to my mind. - 'Drive me to No. - VValnut street.' I had directed him to the house of my sister, Where I thought I vvould stay unlil after eleven o'cJuck, and then rel urn home, leaving my husband to infer that I had been to the concert. But long before l had reached my sister's house 1 feit so miserable that I deerned it best to cali out of the window to the driver, and direct him to return. On nrriving at home, sometwenty minutes nfter I hnd left it, I went up to my chamber, and there had a hearty crying spell to myself. I don't know that I ever feit so bad before in my üfe. I had uiterly failed in this last gorous contest with my husbanc!, vho had come uffperfeclly victorious. It was thnt I had not been able to manage my spouse ; determined na I had been to correct all his faulU, nnd make him one of ihe best, most concillaling, end loving of husbands, wiih whom my wish would be law. Still I could not think of giving up. The thought of beng reduced to n tame, submisive wife, vvho could hardly cali her soul her own, was not for a moment to be entortained. On reflection t oecurred to me that I had, probably, taken the wrong method with my husband. Tlierc was a touch of stubbornness in his nuture that had arrayed itself ngainst my too earnest efforts to bend him lo my wil!. A better way occurred. I had heard it said by some one, or had read it snmewhere, that no man was prouf agair.st a Woman's tears. On the present occasion I certainly feit much more like crying thm laughing, and so it was no hard matter, I can honestly aver, to appear ballied in tears on my husband'a return between eleven nnd twelveo'clock from the tlieatre. I cn'ed frorn vexation as much as from any other feeling. Wljen Mr. Smith carne up in the cliamber where I lny,I greeted his presence wilh half a dozen running sobs, which he answered by whistling the "Crneovienne !" I continued to sob, and he continued to whistle for the nexl ten minutes. By that time he was resdy to get into bed, which he did quite leisurely, and laid himself down pon his pillow withan expression of satisiWtion. Still I sobbed on, thinking that every sighing breath I drew, was in spite of his seeming indifference, a pang to his heart. But from this fond delusion, a heavily drawn breuth, that was almost a snore, aruuse.i me. I raised up and looked over at the man ; he was sound asleep ! A good, hearty cry to inyself, was all the satisfaction I had, and then I went to sleep. On the next morning I met Mr. Smith al ihe breakfast table with red eves and a sad countenance. But he did not seem to notice either. 'I hope you enjoyed yourself at the concert last night,' he said. 'I was delighied at the thea're. Fanny danced divinely. Her's is truly the poctry of motion.' Now Ihis wns loo much ! What hnd I gained 1 Nothing as I could see. After breakfast Mr. Smith carne up lo the chamber, and seeing my face buried in a pillow weeping bitterly - I had increased the flow ot lenrs on hearing him ascending thestairs - said in a low voice - 'Are you not well, Mary V I madfi no answe.r, but continued to weep. Mr. Smilh stood for the spnce of about a minute, bot asked no kmher question. Then, without utteringa word. lie retired from the chambcr, and in a little vvbile after I heard him leave the house. I cried now in good earnest. - VVhen Mr. Smith carne home ut dinner time I was in my chamber, roady prepared for a gush of tears. As he opened the door I looked up with streamingeyes, and then hid my face in a pillow. 'Mary,' he said, with much kindness in his voire, 'what ails you ? Are you sick V he Jaid his hand upon mine as he spokp. But 1 did not reply. I meant to punfsh him well for what he had done as a lesson for the future. 'Aro you not wel!, Mary V he asked again. I was still silent. A litlle after I heard him moving across the floor, and then the chamber door shut. I was once more alone. When the bell ning for dinner, I feit half sorry that I hnd commenced thisnew mode of mannging my husband, but as 1 had begun I was determined to go through with it. He'll at least take care how he acts in the future,' J said. 1 did not leave my chamber to join my husband at the dinner table. He sat his usual timp, as 1 could teil by the ringing ot the bell for the servant to cliange the piafes and bring in ihe dessert. I wasexceedingly fretted; and more so by his returninj. to his business without cali ing up to see me, and making another effurt to dispel my grief. For three days I tried this experiment upon my liusband, who bore it with the unflinching heroism of n martyr. I was forced, at last. to come to, but 1 was by no means sa'.isfied that my new mode was a failure. A few weeks of sunshine passed 1 must own that the sun did not look so bright, nor feel so warm as it had done in former times- and then our wills carne once more into collision. But my teas feil upon a rock. 1 could not see they made the least perceptible impression. My husbaad maintained his ground like a hero. At lastl gave up in despair. Pride self-will, nnger - all were conquered. I was a weak woman in the hands of a strong minded man. Iflcouldnot love him as I wished ío love liim, I cou'd pt least obey. la noihingdid I now oppose hm, eilhor by resolute wordá or teai-s. If he expresed a wisb, to me ngreeable or no:, 1 acqniesceii. One, day, nol long aíter this o.liange in my conduct toward my husband - he said to rnp. 'I rather think, Mary, we will spend a couple of weeks at Brandywine Sprjngs ñatead of g-oing to Cape May this sea-,on.' I replied. 'Very vvell, dear,' although I had set my lieart on going lo the Ca pos. My sisler and her husband, and a number J of my friends were g'iiig down, nnd I liad anticipnted a good deal of pleasure. I did not know ol a single person who was going to the B'-andywine springs. Dut wliat was the use of enterii g into a j contest with my liusbanJ. lie would come oñ the conquoror spite of angry vords or ineíFsctua] tears. 'The Springs are so much more quiet than the Cope?,' said my husband. 'Yes,' I remarked, 'there is less gay company there.' 'Don't you think you will enjoy yourselí as well there as at the Cape V Now this w'as a good deal for my husband to siy. I hardly knew whit to think of it. 'If you prefer going there, dear, let us go by a!l msans,' I answereJ . I was not aíTecting anytliing, but was in earnestin tvhat 1 said. Mr. Smith looked into my face for some momenti, and with unusual afTec:ion as I thought. 'Mary,' he said, 'if you tliink the time will pass more pleasantly tö you nt the Capes, let us go there by all rneans.' 'My sister Jane is going to the Cipes,' I re mark cd, with some litlle hesitation ; and so is Mr, L. and lírs. D. and a good many more of our friends. I did think I would eiijny myself there th'.s season veiy mtich. But 1 have no doubt I sltall fiad pleasant company at the Springs.' 'VVe will go to the Capes,' said my lui band, promptly and cheerfully. 'No,' said I, emulous now for the firt-t time in a new cius?. 'I nm sure the time will pass agreeab'y enough at the iprings. And as you evidently prefer going there, we will let the Capes pass for ihis yenr.' 'To the Capes, Mary, aud nowhere else,' realied my husband, in the very best of humor. 'I am surs you will enjoy yourself far better there. I did not kncw your sister was going.' And to the Capes we went, and I did enjoy myself excellently woll. As for my husband, I never saw hitn in :i better state of miiid. To me lie was more like a lover tbah a husband. No, I will not sny that eilher, for I can't admit thnt a husband may not be as kind and rifTco-tionaie as a lover ; for he can and will be if managed rightly, and a greut deal more really so. Whenevor I e.xpressed a wish it appeured to give him pleasure to grutify it. Seeing tliis instead of sufiuring myself to be the -more recipiënt of kind attentions, I began to vie with him in the sacrifice of selfish wishes and feelings. It is womleiTul how all was changed afterthis. There were no inore stiuggles on my part to mannge my husband, and yet I generally had things my own way. Before I could not turn him to the right nor the left, thougli I strove to do so with my utmost slrength. Nuw I held him only wilh a silken felter, nnd guiied him without really intending lo du so in almost c.ny direclion. Several years have passed since that ever-to-be-iemembered, happy visit to Cape May. Nut onco since have 1 at 'emptéd any management of my husband, and yet it is araiething that my wish is not, as it used to be before we were married, his law. Il is wonderful loo how he has improved. I urn sure he is not the same man that he w;is five years ngo. Out perhaps I see with different eves At any rate I am not the same woman ; or, if the same, very unlike what I then was. So mncb, Mr. Editor, for my offorts :o manage a husband . Of the three ways so fjithfully tried your fair readers will be at no loss to determine which is the best . 1 malte these honest confe.'sons for the good of my sex.