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Diary entry number 1: *Creative_Title_Who_Dis?*

 

Okay, this is going to be a weird start if you are reading on.  I want this to be read in the year of 20019. So if you are not in that year, stop reading.  OKAY now onto a NORMAL start! Hi. I’m Hede J. Rowald. I’m what some people would call immortal.  Obviously, most people think it’s great! No dying, probably out living your parents so you don’t have to do chores, no responsibility!  IT’S THE ULTIMATE FREEDOM!!! But, it’s not all that great. First, you outlive your parents, and ANYONE ELSE IN YOUR LIFE, and by the way, pets are like, a HUGE no no.  You just get attached with something, and then it dies. Get a mayfly or something, not an animal that would actually live long enough for you to start to LIKE. Anyway, it gets kind of sad and lonely.  It seems as though one-hundred or so years goes by in like, a DAY. I’m not sure how I even GOT this way. I was born like it, I think, and POOF, now I’m like, a kajillion years old. Just kidding, but I honestly have no idea how old I am, or what I learned in school.  What I DO know, is that I graduated when I looked like I was just BORN, and I retired when I looked like a two year old. And here I am, at maybe even ten thousand years old for all I know, and I look like a sassy sixteen year old. Whatever. I can SO get over it. It’ll just take like, another ten thousand years.  No problem. I’ll get back to you tomorrow. I think. P.S:  I DON’T ACT LIKE A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BRO.

 

Diary entry number 2: If you care, ugh.

 

Argh!  I like, can’t belIEVE her!  My EX friend, josephine just said, “Your like, a trillion years old, so who CARES if you walk around the street at night?”  I know out of context, it doesn’t SOUND all that bad, but it IS. I am NOT “a trillion years old”! I’m three million at most!  I remember when Jesus was born. Get on my level. Why can’t we go back to the good old days when people took baths using rusty sponges or whatever they used, and didn’t SASS THEIR ELDERS?!  Wow, I sound like an old woman! Wait, I AM and old woman! WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME?! You know what, I’m going to go over to her and give her a piece of my mind! Well, I will tomorrow, ya know, ‘cause it’s like, midnight, and I’m and old lady THAT SHOULDN’T EVEN BE WALKI-AGGHH!!

 

Diary Entry Number 3: Soooooo,

 

So, uh, it didn’t really go as planned.  I kinda agree with her now, and all she had to say was, “Um, it was a compliment that your so old, and look so good.”  So yeah. I mean, I guess I can see where she’s coming from, because she is only 25, and already has some gray hair. I really regret saying she was my “EX friend”, because I only tell my closest and best friends the fact that I’m immortal.  ANOTHER bad thing about it! You can’t TELL anyone or else they may riot! HA! (off-brand remark coming up…) I just realized something… this writing is so neat! I mean, I know I’m typing this so it would be neat ANYWAY, but still. It looks GREAT!  I guess I just didn’t want people to think that an IMMORTALS handwriting is actually sloppier than an alien trying to write Japanese or some other language like that, but with its MOUTH. Yeah, that's how bad MY handwriting is. Well, unless the alien KNOWS Japanese or the other language, and writes with it mouth.  THEN mine would be sloppier than it writing with its HANDS writing english or spanish. I just want people to be able to read what I write when I’m gone.  Wait.

 

Diary Entry Number 4: (Short) I think I’m going to stop this.

 

My life really isn’t all that interesting to put into a book.  Sure I can talk about using auto-correct in my diary because I type it.  But still. Same stuff happens to me every century. Maybe one day there will be more immortals for me to talk to.  Probably not though. Imma just have to be lonely forEVER. Or DO I? I mean, I can still be friends with people, even if I outlive them by like, a lot of years.  I guess it’s not SO bad being lonely. Now I have like, the past three thousand years of friends and family watching over me. Heh, it’s actually kinda COOL when ya think about it!

 

Diary Entry Number 5: Guess I’m NOT stopping.

 

It would seem as though I really CAN’T stop writing, because I want to have at least three pages to my “diary”.  I guess I could talk a bit more about my home life.  So, like I said earlier like, maybe twenty five years ago when I made my first entry, (Yes, I do take that long to make five entries), I don’t like to have pets.  I have the occasional moth fly into my house, but that's just about the best I can hope for. As for family, I think that instead of a “blessing”, my immortality is a curse.  My family was only PARTIALLY immortal. I think sometimes I actually WAS cursed. Ya know, to be lonely or something. But I can legit just… do something that symbolizes authority over someone, at whoever GAVE me the curse, because I still make friends, even if it’s just for like, 65 years when their still ALIVE!  I remember when SHAKESPEARE was alive. Now trust me, he was nice, but he TALKED the way he WRITES. A complete mystery, that guy is. The problem with HIM being lonely was that nobody knew what he, or ANYone said in his plays, but they loved them. Then they figured out he TALKED like that, and your going down a WHOLE new “friendship” path.  I also remember Michelangelo. Don’t even ASK me his FULL name. It was (According to GOOGLE) Michelangelo Di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni. BOY do I love technology. Do you recall hearing the boring stories of Egyptian kings and pharaohs and their weird short lives and hats, and MARRYING THEIR FAM? Well I was able to VISIT Tutankhamun, Nefertiti, Cleopatra, and even Hatshepsut.  And their gods/goddesses were OFF THE HOOK MAN! My favorite is Anubis, but there is also Osiris, Nun, Amun, Hather and Phuta. Sorry, I get off topic really fast. Whatever. That just shows you how much useless information I know because of my age. People are always saying two things to me: One, “Your timeline is REALLY messed up! How did you do all that stuff from the past but still go to school at a normal age?”  The answer is: I DON’T FREAKING AGE LIKE HUMANS! Okay?! I only REALLY started aging in 1990. And two: “All of that information could help you later on!” I guess they don’t know that I’m a gazillion years old, so I have already retired seventy eight times, and have enough money to thrive. Jeez, this has nothing to do with my home life. Whatever, I’ll see you in the next entry. Well, ya know. I won’t SEE you, but I’ll wri-AHEM, TYPE what I’m thinking.

 

Diary Entry Number 6: Weird Family

 

So, my family was only partly immortal, so I GUESS I could have gotten this thing from them, but WAY more intense.  They died around 10-20 years ago. They were the WEIRDEST PEOPLE EVER.  My dads over here trying to kill the flies with a vacuum cleaner, while acting like a GHOSTBUSTER, I’m trying to convince him that their my PETS, my mom is working on making my big sister SHUT HER MOUTH FOR ONCE, and my big sister is complaining about how she wished she could use her phone whenever she wanted because she’s “A big girl now!”  Although, I outlived her. That means I get the phone privileges, right?  Some people say, “You sure don’t seem like you miss them.”  And that's partially true. I miss when we acted like a NORMAL family.  Not the weird/annoying family we WERE. Okay, so I can see how it doesn’t LOOK as though I miss them, but I do.  Well, my ANNOYING AS HECK SISTER, I miss LESS. She would always be mean to me, and be like, “Well, you’d better respect ME, since I won’t BE here someday.  YOU will ALWAYS be here, so I can be rude to YOU.”  That's not how it happened though.  So take THAT Mariell. Another thing people tell me, is “They will always be HERE.”  Then they point to my heart. And I REALLY hope THAT’s not true. If it is, then they can see what I’m pouring out of my… brain on to this digital paper.  WHATever. At least I can say that they knew what I was writing while getting this stupid thing published or whatever people do these days. I don’t know if they get them just thrown out in the REAL world, like the baby Simba in the Lion King, or what.  You know, the part where the weird monkey dude lifts him up, then throws him off the edge. Or have I been watching the wrong Lion King? YOU know what I’m talking about, YOU KNOW what I’m talking about! They play the song, “Drop It” (The meme song with Nigel Strawberry) right when the monkey throws him.  Or am I just crazy? They made a trap remix IN THE MOVIE!!! It’s in the extras, and AMAZING! Anyway, I remember watching that with my family. THEY hated it, I loved it!  I would always dance around to it like it was this epic song, but SO epic, it was spelled with a K!!  Yeah!  That's how epik it was!  Anyway, we would always have a movie night on saturdays, and I would request that movie maybe 19 times out of 20.  We would end up watching something weird and annoying like “Frozen two, the sequel to the cool movie”. OF COURSE, my SISter loved that one, and my parents found the jokes a little more “Child Friendly”.  The Lion King is like, 30% young adult friendly.  Besides, I’m an OLD adult, so yeah.  The worst part is Simbas dads DEATH. *Me_Shuddering*  Ugh. OH I HAVE AN IDEA!!! Now that their, ya know, sadly gone, I CAN WATCH IT OVER AND OVER!!  In fact, I’m listening to a TEN HOUR VERSION of the song while writing this. We had a weird family time too.  For example, CAMPING was… interesting. We would get to the campsite, and the first thing my SISTER wanted to do, was SUNBATHE.  Not ME. I wanted to SWIM or do BOATiNG or FISHING or something else actually useful/fun in life.  We didn’t have a camper because my parents quote, “Don’t trust all those fancy parts.” So we camp way more intensely than OTHERS.  You know, IN-TENTS! GET IT?!?!  So yeah.  We used a two-person-tent for FOUR PEOPLE.  Whatever, I’ll get back to you tomorrow.

 

Diary Entry Number 7: Adventures In Meme-land

 

Not sure if you can tell by my last entry, ACTUALLY WRITTEN YESTERDAY, but I like memes.  Yeah, I was able to come back the next day, and write more. Mm hmm. Anyway, my favorite video game was maybe Geometry Dash because of the way that EVERYONE acts like little kids.  In fact, a MODERATOR (whose identity I will keep secret) was unmoded a while back due to childlike behaviour. Speaking of which, it’s in update 4.3 now. Whatever, he didn’t get banned.  Like I said, I like memes. Level one crook. Finds a good meme. Level one hundred boss. That's how my life works. Heheh. Josephine also likes memes. Speaking of Josephine, she’s about fifty now.  Full head of grey hair. Although she dyed it so it’s dirty blonde. My hair has been getting darker because of all the time I spend in the dark WRITING this thing. Jeez, I think I need a sprite cranberry because of all this typing.  It’s making me thirstier than… a… Kermit... sipping on tea, while having a conversation with… Barry Bee? Okay, I don’t even know anymore.

 

Diary Entry Number 8:  Okay, I’m ACTUALLY stopping now.

 

I just have too much stuff to do.  Like watching The Lion King (Meme version) over and over and over.  I can go over to Josephine's house, and even make new friends! Oh, before I stop writing, please note, that I now look twenty-ish!  YAY! Thanks for reading this, ya know, if you do. Assuming your in the year of 20019. If you are reading this earlier, your gonna have some trouble down the road.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  Immortality isn’t as fun as people think...

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