Everything is so much smaller.
The ceilings that seemed to soar above my head are now closer to Earth.

The halls I used to run my fingers along are almost too narrow to meander through.

Stifling. 

Suffocating. 

I feel larger than life, but the most grandiose feelings often feel sour when faced with torments of the past.

Everything is so much smaller.

I was so much smaller.

I still feel small.

 

I wander more.

Past my old classrooms.

Everything is so much smaller.

The chairs.

The whiteboards.

The little art projects that dangle outside the doors.

I stand frozen in the hall.

I look down.

The waxed linoleum floors are clean enough to reflect my face.

I close my eyes.

Breath everything in.

The silence is harrowing.

But relaxing.

I start to see visions of it all.

 

Bullies pushing me against the lockers.

Calling me names.

They would never leave me alone.

The teacher making me read aloud.

Reading at a snail’s pace.

Hearing everyone snickering.

The embarrassment suddenly grabs my soul; transcending across time.

 

The cliques.

The drama.

The betrayals.

It was elementary school.

We were children.

Why was it all so cutthroat?

 

In this plane of remembrance, I try to recall the good.

I’m drawing up blanks.

The panic sets in.

I grasp onto any memory I have.

But nothing comes.

Until…

 

I see myself in the corner.

Everyone is at recess.

Not me.

I’m cowering.

My grief-stricken eyes are a pitiful sight.

My best friend strolls over.

He hands me some paper.

I smile.

We silently fold origami until the rumble of students coming back to class is heard.

We are alone.

Yet I feel anything but loneliness.

A salty tear streams down my face.

 

My eyes open.

The visions of my past self fade away.

Only I remain.

Changed from those days.

Grown.

Challenged.

Rejected.

Everything was so much smaller.

And now the world is so much bigger.

It scares me at the moment.

But as I step towards the doors of the school, I can’t help but discern an undeniable feeling of hope in my soul.

Tethers chaining me to a world incompatible with hope had stricken me all my life.

I never had the opportunity to soar.

But now the tethers are broken.

Everything is so much larger.

Life is in my hands.

And things will be smaller no longer.