Looking for Love in Ann Arbor

Single and looking for your soulmate? Ann Arbor's history is full of promised solutions. Throughout the city's two centuries the search for a partner has spurred advice, entrepreneurship, and advertisements. This look back at courtship reflects on how dating has changed and the many ways it has stayed the same. 

As early as 1848, Ann Arbor’s Signal of Liberty was carrying advice from the humorous character Mrs. Partington. She advised, “Don't put too much confidence in a lover's vows and sighs… let him tell you that you have lips like strawberries and cream, cheeks like a carnation and an eye like an asterisk; but such things oftener come from a tender head than a tender heart." This “advice” and other jokes carried in local newspapers in the 19th century implicitly acknowledged that in an era when working outside the home was rare for women, finding a partner was a decision beyond just love, but livelihood.

Romance 101

College campuses full of young, single students were ripe with opportunity for dating bureaus. The Michigan Daily routinely highlighted their prevalence at other colleges, but few seem to have taken hold here. In 1931 a short-lived, but much reported on, bureau was established with the support of the Office of the Dean of Women in order to connect opposite sex students to attend an event together. The Michigan Daily attributed its founding to “the highly discouraging fact that most of the first year youngsters were sadly lacking in fair-sex acquaintances.” Three years later three enterprising underclassmen took out an advertisement in the Daily, dubbing themselves "Cupid's Official Helper” with the promise "Be Blue No Longer - GENTS, CO-EDS - Meet Your Man." Unsurprisingly, this resulted in calls of interest from 25 men and not a single woman to pair them with. The "Progressive Coalition" candidates for student senate in 1938 included the "Establishment of a dating bureau, similar to those at other progressive colleges, to facilitate social orientation" as part of their platform.

Blind Data

Advancements in technology brought about the “automation” of dating, as the Wall Street Journal described the work of the Michigan Scientific Introduction Service (MSIS). Founded in 1963, the Ann Arbor-based company had candidates fill out a six page questionnaire, followed by an interview with an employee to further expand upon their answers. Their characteristics were subsequently fed into a then revolutionary IBM computer and three matches were determined. Dossiers were created with the potential suitor’s height, age, occupation, and interests and given to the enrollee to evaluate.

At least two marriages were touted as proof of the success of this “computer dating.” Cathy Gonyon and Richard Pryer were paired together and found much in common. Each had five children of their own and “due to the scarcity of game babysitters” their dates necessarily included their combined ten children. Despite the lack of alone time, they were soon married. Fees for the service were determined based on age and gender. Reva M. Neeley paid $120 while her future husband, Guy E. Moshier, paid only $25. They likely considered it money well spent when they were married just 19 days after meeting.

The Personal Touch

In the era of big shoulder pads, big hair, and big business, the career-focused men and women of the 1980s found themselves to be too busy to locate dates, and the market posed solutions with a number of video dating services and the sale of personal ads in the local Ann Arbor Observer. 

Personal ads were priced at $3 per line of text. This constraint brought out creativity in how to briefly convey personality and pique the interest of suitable dates. Examples of self-expression and promotion can be found in the Classified Section of the digitized Observers throughout the 80s and into the 90s. Many ads conformed to a standard format that listed the advertiser's gender, race, status as single, divorced, or widowed, and sexuality if they were not the assumed straight. This set of characteristics could also be used to describe the partner they sought. Patterns of prejudice emerge in the desired age, race, and other physical traits. Words like "slim" or "athletic" were often included to suggest a bias against anyone larger than a sample size.

The Observer contacted some of the anonymous advertisers in 1985 to better understand who was utilizing this service and whether it brought about success. Respondents and ad authors both noted the disconnect that could occur between written descriptions and the real life match that led to disappointment when meeting in-person. Two advertisers, Phil and Heather, decided to date each other rather than any of their respondents. Heather told reporter Barbara Misle that 20 men had responded, but, “I talked to seven people on the phone. A few sounded like they were really fun and easy to talk to, but a few of them sounded awfully intellectual to me.” Heather's accurate impression of the erudite dating pool is proven by another interviewed advertiser, Clyde, who purposely peppered his ads with uncommon words to find an ideal woman who had "an expanded vocabulary - or at least like using a dictionary," as Misle put it. 

Modern Love

As dating services increased, more specializations were introduced. Table for Two was aimed at “upscale, professional clients” and would reserve a lunch date at a local restaurant for the pair. Others focused on groups that often encountered intolerance in traditional dating venues. Passion Net was aimed at “helping senior citizens and people with disabilities” find romance and friendship. Preferred Singles advertised itself as connecting "overweight" singles "in a thin world" and underscored that "there is more to a person than his or her physical characteristics." Its first year begot six marriages. 

The trend of solutions for singles with a fast-paced life continued into the 1990s and 2000s with the rise of speed dating. According to a 2005 Observer article, events took place at nightclubs around Ann Arbor. Each participant would take part in 8 “dates” lasting 8 minutes each. While this format is seen as a modern invention, the tradition of New Year’s Calling in the mid-1800s was akin to the same hurried meeting and mingling of singles. On New Year’s Day families would open their homes to young single men and they would race about town, visiting as many families they could in the hope of making a match with one of their daughters. The tradition eventually faded, but it could still be found in Ann Arbor in 1888. 

Trends in dating come and go, but so long as there are unattached Ann Arborites there are sure to be "new" innovations posed as the solution to locating love!