A Practical Joker

Peririns is tall, angular and a practical joker of the severest type. One of his peculiar pleasantries is to suddenly halt a strange, pompous individual on the street, buttonhole him and remark with oool assumption: "I beg your pardon, sir, but I think yon have made a mistake." "What is that, sir?" the victim is likely to ask. "Well," Perkins will reply with the utmost audacity, "this city does not belong to any one man or set of men. Yon may think you own it, but you don't. See?" and Perkins will hurry away, leaving the pompous man to his own reflections. Sometimes he varies this interesting peformance in this highly original fashion: Stepping np to a total stranger he will beg for a light for his cigarette. This trifling favor having been extended, , he will engage his victim in i tion for a moment. When another stranger appears Perkins hails him. As he approaches Perkins introduces him to the first man. "Ah, Mr. Smith, permit me to present you to my friend, Mr. Brown. Mr. Brown, Mr. Smith." Of course the men shake hands and Perkins takes his departure, leaving the strangers to extricate themselves from their embarrassment as best they can. One day Perkins entered a small east side dry goods store with a friend. Ranged in front of the counter were a row of stools. Upon these the men seated themselves. In a moment a dapper young clerk came up and asked Perkins what he desired. For an instant he seemed puzzled for a reply, but soon his eyes rested upon the familiar sign "If you don't see what you want ask for it." That f urnished him with a clew. "Well," he said in measnred tones, "you can bring me a píate of comed beef hash, nicely browned, with two poacled eggs on top; also a cup of hot coffee. What's yours, George?" he added, turning to his friend. "Gimme the same," he responded. All the girls in the store stared hard at the impudent fellows, and the clerk's eyes began to bulge. "Gentlemen," he replied, with a show of calmness, "you have made a slight mistake; this is a dry goods store and not a restaurant. Do I look like a waiter?" "I am not here to answer questions, young man," said Perkins, as with bis friend he rose and moved toward + ie door, "but if you can't fill orders you'd better go out of the business or take in your sign." And the jokers vanished out the door.