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Adrian Press Washtenawisms

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me 30 ciuD sliooters or Vpsilant are for shutes in the Hurón. It is fondly expected that a grea rope-walker vvill break his neck at Milán, May 15. Close on the heels of the winter contagions comes a play by locai talent, at Saline. Howells, senior "law," of the university, accused of plagiarism, is trying to prove a lulJabye. Catfish should be dehorned. One hooked Elmer Lamkin, of Oakville, in the hand so badly that he is under treatment at Ann Arbor. The university athletic board will give a beautiful prize cake to the runner leaving the most tracks on a race course in the briefest time. J. W. Bennett, of Dexter wears a phrenological bump that came near being the death of him. Ice - door step - os backis - astronomy. P. W. Carpenter, of Ypsilanti, becomes eminent commander of the Knights Templar of Ann Arbor. Now, by the Red Cross, let there be peace between the twin cities! John Wannamaker, late p. m. general, has purchased So acres of land in Ypsilanti. It is not yet known whether he intends to start a chicken ranch or a Sunday school. The Ypsilantians will drink inspiration from "The Little Brown Jug" on Saturday night. - Courier. By such means does Ypsilanti bolster up her anti-rose nose institute? K.ev. Mr. botter, ot Saüne, has been presented with a 131-dollar donation. Rev. Mr. Lobb, of Lyndon, wishes his congregation were mere "clay in the hands of the Potter." ■ Measles recently had a hold on thirty Milan people at the same time, and many more might have been served had they applied. Life leaves behind a graveyard of lost opportunities. The Pree Methodists of Milan would have gone on with their revival, trusting in the Lord and defying diptheria,but for interference of the health board. lts faith was not of the mustard seed kind. "Thou knowest that I was an oyster man, reaping where I had not sown" was the probable soliloquoy of the thief who the other night stole a whole case at Ann Arbor, from a dealer who left it out door. Miss Carrie Cross, a pretty school teacher üof Ypsilanti township, so sprained one of her knees while skating that she# now moves about the school room in a wheel chair. Still, she is not cross, although she is. Geo. R. Wendling will lecturet the University, April ist. One of Ingeisoll's lectures at Adrián was speedily answered in the same town by Wendling, of whom Bob said: "After the omnibus, comes the baggage wagon." The sun appears to rise and set just the same as it did before Cleveland was re-inaugurated. - Ann Arbor Courier. Now as a matter of fact the days have already grown much longer. The Courier has lied. Editor Junius E. Beal and wife, of the Ann Arbor Courier, are off for the Sandwich Islands. Mr. Beal intends to pack them in his trunk and bring them home. He says they are too much exposed out there to the "toad of free trade." i Hiram Cook, of Ypsilanti resented an unpretty remark, in his presence, leveled at a girl, for which the leveler, one Comstock, leveled a shotgun at him and was going to fill him up with holes, but missed all except one finger. Comstock is under arrest. The country passed from republican to democratie control last Saturday, without a jar. - DexterNews. Yes; but there are always grumblers. A Kansas editor rises up to say: " Cleveland has been president two weeks, and we're just as hard up as ever, b'gosh!" The bones of the great mastodon recently dug up in Washtenaw, and supposed to be those of some prehistorie university professor, will be built into a restored skeleton and exhibited at the World's Fair. What eads to the belief that they are the )ones ofa professor, is the sudden levation of the spinal ridge, near he shoulders, showing that he had ometime "got his back up" at the ellowwho "plagiarized," anddeath 'swiped him" before he could unïump. Monday the council of Ann Arbor voted on, the question of bonding the city for $30,000 for sewers. There is one Baptist brother in the city who who voted no, on the ground that the sewer project is aimed at the dip theory. He is laboring under a phonetic delusion. A new cyli'fider press and new type coristitute another addition to the outfit of the Ann Arbor Argus. The original owner has a new partner; the paper a new press; the job room new type; the proprietors and compositors new siik hats and the "devil" has iust been measured for one. A Northville merchant was robbed of two dozen eggs during the recent :idal wave prices, and would have ïnancially "turned up his toes to :he roots of the daisies" but for riends who promptly mortgaged their homes to replace his loss. They have great confidence in their merchant. He is around in Washtenaw and if he comes to your house and wishes to clean the sewing machine for fifty cents, let him. It's cheap enough. But if he immediately discovers and offers to replace for $2, a broken spring, spring into his stomach with both feet. The husband, son or brother should do this. It wouldn't be recherche in the lady. - In all of our church congregations there are many who are wilïing to attend service regularly and never contribute anythinjj to the expenses of the church. - Arm Arbor Courier. Expect to get into heaven like an editor into a circus - on a complimentary ticket! Going to get left. Gazing at the spider-webs overhead and yell "Amen" every time the minister scores, will never fooi wa'ry St. Peter - never! Come down with the cash or stay out of the game. Morris J. .O'Connor, a well-to-do farmer of Northfield, is in deep trouble. His young daughter has just eloped with a young mulatto named Bird. The father pursued the "blackbird".. and girl, but failing to find them, returned, and getting very drunk, fired his revolver with a broad-minded carelessness that boded death to his wife, whom he upbraided for not closer watching the daughter. A neighbor who tried to quiet O'Connor was shot at, and has had him arrested. Thus, with a charge of attempted killing hanging over him, and the knowledge that "Mary has gone wid a Coon," "dar's heaps ob trouble on de ole man's mind" and prospective cash for lawyers.