Adrian Press Washtenawisms

A correspondent writes to the Ypsilanti Commercial that " bee stings will cure rheumatism." So will death. Chelsea farmers are selling their -wheat, having given up getting better prices. It is a ground hog case -with them. Joe Jobbitt is a Milán painter. Other painters also job it, and customers would like to have them finish their jobs. "It is understood," says the Ypsilantian, " that some of the teachers have flattering offers, elsewhere." And the yonng men of the city permitted this ! "The mean temperature in Ann Arbor during the month of March," says the Argus, "was 30 degrees." It was a pesky sight meaner than that at Adrián. The Ann Arbor Courier man puts up a column of "Adrián Press Paragraphs," and then, like a juggler, throws knives at 'em. They are sharp but not steal. Burglars were driven from the Kensler house, Manchester, lately, by revolver shots. They wanted a whole window, and refused a single pain in the stomach. The London correspondent of the Milan Leeder speaks of the grit of a citizen who, having a felón, compelled it " to take a back seat." Seems to us like he exercised bad judgment. The Dexter News would like the address of the prophet who predicted an early spring. We feel just ugly enough toward him to give him away, and would, were he better prepared for death. The Dexter News believes it poor economy for a man to starve his family mentally. By the number of newspapers published in Washtenaw, there appears to be no intellectual famine over the border. An ex-Ann Arbor Philadelphian named Waples, has invented a cañe from which may be drawn a silk umbrella top; but how does this help matters for a lame man ? As soon as he draws his umbrella, his locomomotion stops. Gol. H. S. Dean, of Ann Arbor, was given a Testament in 1843 fr a good little boy, who repeated the most verses at aSouth Lyon Sunday school. The colonel has it yet. It has been around Cape Horn and through the war with him, and he feels that to lose it would be losing his password to heaven. By all means, hang to it, Colonel. The sum raised to entertain the legislature and properly pólice the town during the invasión, provee a paying investment at Ann Arbor The treasurer of the calamity func has declared a 35 per cent. dividenc to the stockholders. Capt. Boutelle, marshal of Ypsi lanti, sued in the circuit for the ful salary of ,$600. The council hac hacked off about half of it. Th marshal said his salary could not b ensmalled during his term. Judg Kinne said it could. # Jacob Schweinfurth, the Rock ford, 111. , claimant of the Christship is visiting relatives in Chelsea. H is said to be the most mundane look ing specimen of the Godhead tha has struck Washtenaw since Princ Mike went to the penitentiary. The operetta, " Trial by Jury.' will'be given in Ann Arbor May 10 This will be something new. Afarc by that name has had a long run i this country, and it has become question among thinkers whethe justice is more vindicated than out raged by it. One Gronlund, a socialist, recent ly lectured before the Political Sci ence association of the University A peculiar idea of this tangle-brainec talker, was the ensuring of freedom by curtailing liberty. The fellow should be immediately "jugged," on his own theory. A resident of Scio has a regularly recurring dream of a large sum o: money buried under a flat stone. I he would shore up his mattress with an oíd quilt, so as to raise the pit o his stomach, he might obtain a dreamless rest that would enable him to turn over the flat stone. Adeline Brown, a gradúate of the Cleary Business College, Ypsilanti sues Rev. William Jason, of Orange N. J., for having breached his prom ise of marriage. Miss Brown is black, but she is business. The Rev. Jason is of Miss Brown's color but is not business, according to her notion. The new charter of Ann Arbor extending the city limits to include Grand View, and abolishing the "single-tax," so that citizens may pay taxes twice, instead of once a year, has passed both houses of the legislature. Ann Arbor people love the tax collector as the heathen loves his stone god. The co-educationists of the University petition the legislature for. a twenty-thousand-dollar appropriation for a co-ed annex. Too much. There is a functionary in this office who will undertake all the annexations asked for, at $2 per annex. Give him a trial. Satisfaction guaranteed or money refunded. If the Grass Lake News man forgets to do right, one week, he doesn't let it outlaw, likean oíd subscription. He says: Through an inadvertance we neglected to say last week that Job Stebbins, who lives over towards Stockbrdge, is an oíd liar, and sheep thief. We have dropped his name from our list. He doesn't live up to his promises. The University Glee and Banjo clubs are just in from a tour of 2087 miles. They come covered with glory and spring mud, and a preputation for handling better music and later suppers than any other similar aggregation in the United States. The money made will be expended as far as it will go, toward replacing the clothing worn out on the jaunt. All good Christian people and right minded citizens will rejoice to know that an evangelistic effort will begin in Ann Arbor in November, conducted by the celebrated B. Fay Mills, under the auspices of the Students' Christian Association. To state just why such a effort is urgently needed would seem invidious, but we do hope there will be a liberal attendance of the local newpaper men. A. J. Harrington, an old soldier, illustrated at Milan last week the effect of alcohol on the human system, using stereopticon illustrations twenty-eight feet square. There, Mr. Harrington, that will do. No drunkard ever had a 28-footstomach. Better turn your attention to finding out whether Major Hendershot really was or was not " the original drummer boy of the Rappahannock."