Adrian Press Washtenawisms

One Andrew Shaler, of Milan, claims to have raised 165 bushels of wheat off three acres of ground. Containing as it does the word "off", the above is no lie. If Mr. Koebbe, of Freedom, does any more threshing this fall, he must get a new separator. A broken neckyoke and a down-hill runaway disposed of the one he recently owned. Total wreek. If the state press has any influence in secret society affairs, Miss Bower, of the Ann Arbor Democrat, will certainly be the great record keeper of the Lady Maccabees of Michigan. We are all for her, to a man. Jacob Schmittler, of Washtenaw, who narrowly escaped matrimony by being arrested with a marriage license and a gold watch in his pocket, and his intended wife and mother-in-law by his respective sides, gets a couple of years in Jackson. John Greening, of Chelsea, last week concluded to knock off one day of hard labor and go huckleberrying. Receipts: A pair of wet feet, a pardal sunstroke, a quart of huckleberries and bugs. Disbursements: Considerable profanity and one valuable watch. A mulatto named Bird last spring flew away with Mary O'Conner, of Northville. The two were made a pair last week by Justice Bennett, of Ypsilanti, and both Birds now snuggle in the same nest. Did somebody remark of the existence of a "race prejudice"? If Emma Kelsey, of Mooreville, did not have a minee pie dream the other night, somebody crawled through her window and choked her. This seems not to have prevented her from screaming so loudly as to attract attention, and the supposed lady-throttler disappeared. At Ann Arbor, last week, by the overturning of a bus, returning from the picnic of the Schwaebischen Unterstuetzungs Verein, Julius Trojanowski was flung skihi and had a rib broken off. We hated to tackle this item, and only did it out of a sense of duty, as a news purveyor. Mrs. Mary Collins Whiting, a Washtenaw female lawyer of considerable fame, has been sued by her brother-in-law, Benjamin McGraw, in $10,000 darnages, McGraw alleging that Whiting induced his wife to forsake him. It seems that Mrs. McGraw was a valuable woman. Just about the time that Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti stop making faces at each other, somebody pokes afresh the embers and "niggerheads" of malice, and the flames shoot up anew. Now comes the Argus, which deposes and says: "Ypsilanti feels proud because one day this week passed with only two fights in that city." The Chelsea Herald has been grievously imposed upon by its imagination. It locates in the road near Brighton a young lady, helplessly tangled in the machinery of a bicycle, sends a young man to her rescue, and recites substantially all the harrowing details of the true narrative of the real case, as it occurred near Adrián and originally appeared in the Press. Emancipation day, at Ypsilanti; was an occasion of much pomp, parade and plug hats. All the country round about "knocked off " work and put on its white vest and shiny tile. Dinner was served at the fair grounds. The speakers failed to appear, and the athletic sports and baseball were declared off. Otherwise the day was such as the spirit of Lincoln might have approved, except the crap-shooting and quaiity of drinks sold on the grounds. O'Sullivan, a distinguished New York criminal lawyer, declares Dr. Vaughan, of the University, to be the foremost chemist of this continent, and adds that he is better known in England than America, and more appreciated in New York than in Michigan. Quite likely, in both cases. The fact is, that here, in the Michigan huckleberry bushes, there are so many of us distinguished that we don't appreciate each other. The east is beginning to find out that low-necked clams, long-tailed coats and the gold Standard never yet discovered tyrotoxicon in cheese.