Hirarn Markham, of Whittaker, blocked a threshing machine with his leg and met with a fracture. The married students of the university hold socials, and by swapping partners for the time, seem almost as cheerful as ever. The Dexter Leader having made a study of the subject, declares that the human shape is traceable in the mammoth squash. It may be true. Now, for instance, take the United States senate. The Acacia social club, is the name of an Ann Arbor organization. From its name it is inferred that it sweetens its breath with cinnamon, after mixing and taking the oath of allegiance to the constitution. n # The M. E. church organ of Ann Arbor has been overhauled, the mouse nests swept out of it, a little stay-awake given the blower boy and the Te Deium Laudamus again pours forth with fullness and power. The temperance feeling is gradu ally gaining in Washtenaw. Th Democrat states that during th past year, only 190 persons hav been jailed for being too drunk to "tarve" with the motion of th earth. In spite of injunction suits anc the drain on its resources, to furnisl a record for that endless squash vine the Ann Arbor Register, has been enlarged from a 56 to a 72 column newspaper. Nothing like success for succeeding. A lady from Australia who visitec Ann Arbor last week, expressec surprise that the trees shed their leaves in this country, and said tha in Australia the trees hed their bark instead of their leaves. The Argus believes her out of courtesy to a lady. Prof. Lister, of the Saline schools who is engaged in an analysis o: drinking water, from a village well, has already discovered a trilobite, nautilus, hairy crocodile hadrosaurus and a nest of humbugs. The microscope is a great revealer of the deadly lire of the invisible world. Eight men and two women, o! Ypsilanti, have sued the Keeley anti-jaggery company, to recover $55.000 worth of the stock which they claim looked all fine on the surface, but at last "biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an adder," and is no good. Mat Blosser of the Manchester Enterprise drove a rusty nail in his foot the other day and took to crutches. The citizens of Manchester should take up a collection and buy a pair of shoes for him. It is not disgraceful to go barefooted, but it's dangerous. Gazing out through the fly-specks on the sancturn window, upon the shipping in the harbor, the aged editor of the Ann Arbor Courier is reminded that "sixty years ago there were only three steamboats on the great lakes," and adds: "What a change my countrymen, in the lifetime of an individual!" Prof. Angelí left Friday of last week, for Chicago, to secure if possible, additions to the university museum. If he wanted something really rich and rare, he should have organized a party and gone gunning for the last legislature. That would have been worth skinning and stuffing. J. V. N. Gregory, of Dexter, is we regret to announce, again on crutches. He was reduced to this condition by acting as running mate for a spirited horse he was leading - that is we mean he was being led by the horse and had an ankle sprained, and it is feared, lost some of his initials. Great is football! Ypsilanti examines her bruised shins, through a pair of discolored eyes; then cocking her bonnet a little on one side yells through the Sentinel: '-Who would have thought that the Normals could mop the earth with perhaps the best team in Ann Arbor, except the regular U. of M. 's? Yes that is what happened Saturday." Note: - The feminine gender is used in our introduction figuratively, otherwise it wouldn't have been proper. # Each day adds a new prop to the claim that the University City is the Athens of American culture. Silkhaired politeness could hardly go further than in the case of Mayor Thompson, who writes to the marshal that he "has the honor" to suspend him from office, and by and with the consent of the council is perfectly willing to kick him out for good. We expect the marshal to reply that he "has the honor" to teil the mayor to go to - that is, "go to." While baling hay last week a Webster man baled one of his feet bruising it badly. Twice has such a thing happened in that locality Why is it that sorae men will mon key with a baling machine when they know there isn't room for machine and feet without letting down the town line fence? A row has arisen among the fa men of the university, over the election of toastmaster, and there is likely to be considerable tallow shec over it before the fuss is settled. It is said that men whose stomachs touched, struck out for each others eyes, but the blows feil short. "So near, and yet so far!" , ' Milan's night watchman asked a gang who were rattling at the glass of a store, what they meant by such conduct. They manifested a delicacy about informing him and ran away. He ran after them and fired. Blood on the walk next morning showed that the night watch had - had the nose bleed, perhaps. Robert Jerey, of Saline, has returned from England. "During his stay" says the Saline Observer, "he gained possession of several old coins, which he turned over to the editor of this paper." This journal wishes that a dozen or fifteen of its subscribers, whose accounts have value only as relies of antiquity, would take a trip to England. Capt. Allen, of Ypsilanti, will deliver an address at the meeting of the Michigan State Sunday School Association in Hillsdale, November 15-16. - Ann Arbor Argus. By this time, and this being a year in which there is no election in Michigan, it is probably safe to let the captain talk in Hillsdale county. At any earlier time he might, while addressing the lambs of the Sunday school flock, have drifted to the subject of 50 cent wool. And still the fratricidal war between Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti goes on! Not long ago the Register said that Mr. Salyer had preserved in alcohol a monster tarántula. Forthwith the Ypsilanti Commercial was on its feet, saying: "Mr. Salyer can come back to Ypsilanti any time that he feels dissatisfied with the breeed of bugs that he finds in Ann Arbor." And the Register replies that "when Mr. Salyer finds a worse breed in Ann Arbor than Ypsilantians are familiar with he probably will return; but he has not done so yet." Thus, with lofty carriage, each accuses the other of being a little "buggy." Note: This quota tion is not original. Ask Tour Friends Wlio have taken Hood's Sarsaparilla vhat they think of it, and the replies vill De positive irt its favor. Simply what Plood's Sarsaparilla does, that ,ells the story of its rnerit. One has een cured of indigestión or d3'spepsia, another finds it indispensable for sick ïeadache or biliousness, while others report remarkable cures of scrofula, catarrh, rheumatism, salt rheum, etc.