'shear" Nonsense

"There's an act of aft'ection," said young Jirupsey as he imprinted a kiss upon lier roral lips. "The really best plays have three acts, George,'1 said ;he fair young woman, looking up at lim without blinking. - Chicago Keconl. The .country 's father ne'er himself Ou iishing jaunts did hie; Ui; realized 'twas useless, tor He cöuldn't teil a lie. -Detroit Tribune. "Have yon anything to say before we eat you?" said the King of the Caníibal Isles to a Boston missionary. "I have,'' was the reply; "I want to talk ;o you a while on the advantages of a vegetable diet."- Bazaar. Maud- Did you know that chaperon n Frenen wa.s masculine, not feminineV Marie- Really? IIow 1 vvish I ïad been born iu Fr anee! - Brooklyn ,ife. The Ileavenly Twins.- "Büt tticy are so exactly alike. IIovv does Fitz know wliicli of them he is engaged to?" ■'He keeps ;i long auburn hair- another girl's hair- which he sometimes puts upon his coat-sleeve. The future Mrs. Fitz goes tor it at once, and so the probiem is solved!"- The Sketch. Judge(to witness )- AVhat is your age, señora? Witness- f ana over twenty. "You must teil the exact truth. "Between twenty and thirty." "But when will you be thirty?" "Tomorrow, my lord."' - La Union de Valparaíso. Mrs. Johnson- We mus' have no stravagance, JefE'son, no stravagance; did y o git de tu'key way down? Jefïerson- 'Sh, honey! De bottom limb!" - Cleveland Plain Dealer. "And so your son has Önished his college coursev Did he gradúate with honors?" "Oh, yes; but he tells me that some öf the other fellows carried them off. Rascally, wasn't it?" - Bcston Transcript. Gaunt stranger. Can you- help - a - poor- fellow to stem the tide of starvation? Literary man (bustling around). Certainly, my poor man! Here's a copy of "Atkinson on Cheap Cookery". Take it, and may the Lord bless you. - Exchange. Husband - Who was that man I saw you kissing on the balcony? Wife - W.hy, how dare you suspect me, sir? It was my biother. Husband - Ah, I remember now, you promised to be a of Jack Dashing before you uuained me.- Trnth. The King of Italy is not much over üve feet in height; Uncle Sam, also, is rather short at present. - Philaclelphia Ledger. The passion some women have tor attending auctions is a mor-bftl taste. - Siftingsi Teacher - Can any little boy teil me why St. Peter is al way e at the gate? Johtmy Ferguson - 1 reekon he's a-layin' fer dose fellies w"at robbed him ter pay